“Some
people cause happiness wherever they go; others do so whenever they go.”
This wonderfully perceptive comment by Oscar Wilde, the brilliant, flamboyant and very highly acclaimed
Irish playwright, speaks volumes to the powerful effect of happiness on other
peoples’ responses. In this simple statement of fact he clearly differentiated
between the positive and dynamic effect by some in creating true happiness, and
the completely opposite effect by others.
The true
meaning of happiness is a question that often comes to the minds of everyone
looking for answers in living. People spend endless hours searching in every
direction, but only few ever succeed in finding genuinely true happiness. This occurs
because of our innate tendency to look outside of ourselves for our needs, or to
follow others by trying to be like them or trying not to offend them. This only
leads to more frustration, disillusion, and disappointment, but very rarely to
happiness. It is abundantly clear to all who care to look that happiness is in
no way related to the acquisition of success, power or riches as so many
believe, but everything to do with personal contentment, love and gratitude.
Happiness
is feeling secure with yourself and not be anxious about your actions. It is about
being satisfied with enough and not be hungry for all, and being grateful for who
you are, rather than envious of others. These are the pillars on which all
happiness stands. No outside source can ever provide happiness to you; it must
come from inside of you. In truth, happiness is about loving who you are, and
knowing where you are in life, and what you hope to be; -and never ever, about what you think you are entitled to be or ought
to be!
Happiness
can only occur by exercise of choice, it will never arise as a result of the
influence of others. Epicurus, one of
ancient Rome’s most
influential philosophers stressed that “true
happiness is the end and aim of living.” He rightly described it as not being the hedonistic behavior that
results from the demands of the senses to satisfy personal pleasure without regard
to need, but rather, comes from the wisdom to choose correctly.
Bonnie Ware, the Australian palliative nurse whose publication entitled “The Top 5 Regrets of the Dying” is a
classic in the field of caring for the terminally ill, placed this in the
correct perspective when she wrote:
“Many did not realize until the end, that happiness
is a choice. They had stayed stuck in their old patterns and habits. Fear of
change had them pretending to others and to themselves, that they were content.”
The profound truth in this
statement rings loudly and clearly for all to see and hear. for we are our worst
enemy by continuing to live our lives dominated by pretending to be who we are
not, rather than choosing who we really are.
For
happiness to truly take hold, we must first free our hearts from the poison of
hate, anger and suspicion, and free our minds from worry, shame and regret, and
trust ourselves to do the right thing; while being grateful for everything
received. Happiness is never measured by another’s yardstick, but only by the
individual’s own, and can only be stored in the memory banks of that individual
alone. These memories are never lost to him, but remain embedded to be recalled
at will, especially in time of stress and uncertainty. For this reason, no one
should wait for the right time to find happiness. It is always ready to be
found. As an Unknown Author once wisely
advised:
“Don’t wait until your life is almost over to
realize how great it’s been! Sometimes a short walk down memory lane is all it
takes to appreciate where you are today. Happiness is found when you stop
comparing yourself with others.”
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