“Life is only a reflection of what we allow ourselves to see.”
This very fascinating and appropriate comment was made by a young and exciting Australian Holistic Psychologist Trudy Symeonakis Vesotsky. In saying this, she was drawing attention to the fact that all of our life is a reflection of how we choose to respond to changes around us. She insisted that all the decisions we make all the subsequent behavior that results from them were far less related to the prevailing circumstances, and much more by how we choose to view these circumstances.
The beauty and strength of this quotation is firmly founded on its truth and simplicity. It would explain why some people always seem to remain happy and contented, even when conditions are difficult, while others appear to be continually sad and unfulfilled, irrespective of whether the prevailing conditions are in their favor or otherwise. Vesotsky is suggesting that almost always, the life we eventually lead is largely related to the choices we make in dealing with our life situations, and not on the degree of difficulty that the situations may provide..
To a significant extent, our state of mind at any moment is determined by how we think and view the world around us. The more positive our attitude to deal with the problems becomes, the easier will we be able to find answers and be satisfied. We are able to focus better, to concentrate on the things that can be managed and to find solutions that satisfy us. Others, already immersed with negativity, will choose to spend their time focusing on those things that can go wrong, and not on trying to find suitable answers. Alternatively, because of lack of confidence in themselves, they choose to look to others to find answers, and in so doing, further lose their ability to focus, and end up living another person’s life.
Nelson Mandela, the great anti-apartheid revolutionary leader and first president of the Republic of South Africa, in reply to questions about his choice of life, stated:
“There is no passion to be found playing small - in settling for a life that is less than one you are capable of living.”
A cursory look at the life of this great man will reveal that, beginning early in his life, despite being the son of a local chief with better privileges, he chose to live his life with full passion, avoiding the easy way but living fully to his sole aim of achieving a dissolution of the vicious apartheid system that subjugated so many of his people. And even though he spent 27 years in prison, he never lost his passion. Without any doubt, he lived his life to the very end, to the fullest.
The true quality of your life is neither inherited, nor is it passed on from generation to generation. It is in fact, created day by day with your own thoughts and attitude. It is a complex mixture of what you have learnt, your experiences, the examples of others, and your basic personality. It is a strictly personal journey, and should never be compared with the lives of anyone else. It is a process that continues for as long as you are alive. It is neither easy nor free from errors or bad judgment, but it demands that you fully understand the reasons, avoid copying others and constantly correct your mistakes.
But trying to choose to live a full life requires a degree of confidence and of commitment for most of your life. It is neither automatic nor does it come easy. It requires, above all a degree of resolution and understanding as well as a deep-seated desire to stay true to yourself and principles. This requires certain actions and standards that must be faithfully applied, even during the when they might be difficult to maintain. Among these are:
HONESTY:
William Shakespeare very accurately alluded to this when he wrote:
“Above all, to thine own self be true. And it must follow, as the night the day, thou canst be false to any man.”
Unless we maintain a true sense of honesty, we hold ourselves back from growing. When we choose to lie, cheat, and resent others as a way of covering our fears and inadequacies we cannot hope to live a full life. There are times when it may be very hard to be honest, but not doing so will prevent any chance of living your life to its to its fullest.
KNOW YOURSELF:
You will only appreciate who you truly are when you first begin to accept yourself, your weaknesses and your strengths, your likes and dislikes, your past experiences and your reactions, as well as your fears and inadequacies. Unless you are fully conversant with all of these, you cannot hope to change them or at least accept them. To be truly successful, you must love yourself as you are, and not as you would like it to be.
KNOW YOUR VALUES:
Your core value are the deeply embedded beliefs that serve to shape who you are, and how your live your life. They essentially determine your response to changes in your life, and set goals for your future. Know them well, and use them as the primary foundation of any change contemplated
AVOID DWELLING IN THE PAST:
Try to live in the moment, avoid dwelling on the mistakes of the past, and instead choose to look optimistically to the future. Living in the past, or dwelling on your mistakes serve only to undermine your confidence, without in any way helping. The act of releasing the guilt and fears of the past will give you the courage and freedom to grow forward in confidence.
LIVE WITH PASSION:
You can only be sure that you are living fully when you do so with confidence and passion. Your life can only be truly complete when you are able to extract everything you can. If you allow others to influence you in any way, you will be cheating yourself and reducing your passion.
KEEP DREAMING:
One of the greatest enemies to living a full live is any attempt to stifle your dreams. Your hopes and dreams are the main incentives to growing more, providing rewards and fulfilling your life. Any attempt to suppress them, for whatever reason, will only serve to shackle your confidence and stunt your growth.
Tragically, despite all its advantages of trying to live a full life, by far the greatest majority of people all over the world spend all their lives without ever achieving a full and passionate life. They are content to stay as they are, without ever feeling the joy and the passion that comes from doing so. They are content to just live out their lives stuck in a routine of working to live, unable or unwilling to make any change to provide improvement. They squander their hopes and dreams on the altar of safety and consistency, without ever knowing who they really are, or they deliberately suppress them in favor of maintaining the status quo. Unfortunately, they will all reach their end without ever appreciating the exhilarating feeling and the passion that only comes from living a full life. This is precisely what Louis E. Boone, a highly respected American academic author, was alluding when he wrote:
“The saddest summary of a life contains three descriptions: -Could have, -Might have, -Should have.”
-This indeed is the most
critical question every one of us must answer when we arrive at the end of our
life’s journey; Will we be able to look
back at the road traveled and see a clear straight one, paved with all the
good things we acquired from living a full and satisfactory life. Or will we see a road strewn
with all the disappointments, regrets and dissatisfaction accumulated during a
life overflowing with could haves, might haves, and should haves. Only you will know the answer!
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