DAILY SLICE OF LIFE - Mending the Broken Heart

“A record of our emotional life is written on our hearts.”

         This definitive observation was recently made by the highly respected Indian-born American cardiologist and accomplished author, Dr. Sandeep Jauhar while exploring the many mysterious ways that a person’s emotions can physically impact the health of the heart, and induce serious, life-threatening disease. The condition, although previously talked about by Clinicians and others, was only recently confirmed by Japanese researchers who were able to demonstrate the effect of unresolved emotional stress directly causing serious damage to the heart’s appearance and function. The name they chose for what had long been described as the “Broken Heart” was the “Takotsudo Heart” because of its classic enlarged pear-shaped appearance. They stressed the urgent need for everyone to pay particular attention to this finding, since the only way to prevent its development is by dealing with the underlying emotional episodes before they go out of control.

         Up until this development, Physicians and Psychologists had believed that the emotions were essentially mental expressions generated by the brain that impacted the workings of the body’s systems but did not do serous damage to the various organs. But this view is now changing, and these emotional upheavals are being recognized to have as much physical effect on the heart and the body as they do with the psychological state. In fact there is increasing general agreement that the examination of any emotional response can only be fully explained by looking at the brain, body and heart acting in concert. Professor Matthew Berg, PhD, an American physiologist at Yale School of Medicine reinforced this observation further when he wrote:

“The general results of studies are that, for the most part we believe depression is a risk factor for the development of heart disease.”

And Professor Dean Ornish, an American cardiologist and authority on preventative medicine, unequivocally confirmed this fact, and even went further when he observed:

“Study after study has shown that people who feel lonely, depressed, and isolated are many times more likely to get sick and die prematurely, not only from heart diseases but virtually all causes, than those who have a sense of love, connection, and community.”

         This presumption is not really difficult to understand since the heart in many ways, is in constant two-way dialogue with the brain so that as the emotions change so too are the biological and chemical stimulation received. These chemicals, in the form of stress hormones like cortisol, and adrenaline are triggered by the brain and induce significant changes in cardiac and pulmonary function that lead to long-term irreversible damage. The risk for developing serious heart disease is significantly increased in those people who experience constant stressful emotional responses especially if they remain unresolved. They tend to create a chain reaction in the body which overwhelms its defense and immune systems, causing serious damage to health and function.

         Happily, many of these changes, if dealt with early and effectively enough, can be reversed, at least to some extent. This is especially so when they learn to avoid or to shift out of the stress into more meaningful situations. In fact, in the right setting and with the right effort in improving the individual’s coping skills, there can be profoundly positive effects on the cardiovascular system and the overall health of the individual.

         The over-riding approach for success is not only to help the individual to manage the difficult situations and the painful feelings, but to guide them to avoid continuation of emotional stress. Brian Tracy, the well known Canadian motivational speaker and prolific author very wisely reminded us that:

“Stress comes from within; it is your reaction to circumstances, not the circumstances themselves.”

-This indeed is the real lesson that everyone must learn in order to prevent a broken heart. It is never what happens to a person that really matters, it is always how he reacts that does the harm!  

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DAILY SLICE OF LIFE - Finding one’s Destiny

“We are but the instrument of heaven;

Our work is not by Design, but Destiny”.

        

This quotation by the great 19^th century English poet and playwright Lord Edward Lytton, very neatly described a commonly held concept that a person’s destiny is subject to some kind of external “power” beyond their control, and that we were expected to accept and live by the consequences of this influence. Even today, many people, more particularly in the Eastern traditions, still believe and accept this to be their lot and fate in life; ‘their Naseeb.’ The more religious on the other hand, are content to attribute these experiences to supernatural sources and accept the results as the ‘Will of God.’ In all these situations the recipients were quite content to live out their lives in the firm belief that the course of their lives were somehow predetermined, and that they could do nothing but accept the consequences. They believed that irrespective of the options they exercised, the ultimate course of action taken by them will always lead them to a predetermined destiny.

         But in the last two centuries, especially so in the Western cultures, with the increasing advances in science, understanding and logic, there has been a gradual shift away from this previously accepted view of destiny. Currently, while the term is still used to refer to a sequence of events related to the future that may often appear to have been outwardly unalterably predetermined, it is now recognized that these events are subject to change, and are in fact, directly dependent on the choices made by the individual. Most people are now comfortable with the argument that individuals can and often do choose their own destiny by selecting their own different "pathways." William Jennings Bryan, the celebrated American politician and presidential candidate, described this situation most succinctly in this manner:

       “Destiny is not a matter of chance; it is a matter of choice.

        It is not a thing to be waited for; it is a thing to be achieved.”

         Unquestionably, the most important asset in finding and fulfilling one’s destiny is a thorough knowledge of one’s needs and aspirations. No one is ever able to determine his own destiny by copying the destiny of others, and certainly no one has ever succeeded in doing so by following the lifestyles of others. Destiny is always personal and more closely related to the individual’s dreams, passions and purpose in life. These alone, are the keys that must be used by the individual to align himself correctly in the direction that assures fulfillment of his true destiny.

But like so many other important personal characteristics of mankind, the answer will only be found by looking inward, and will never be found by spending time looking in any other direction; as so many people prefer to do. William Shakespeare, in his masterpiece, Julius Caesar, very clearly endorsed this fact when he declared, to any one who will listen:

“It is not in the stars to hold our destiny, but in ourselves.”

          In this respect, destiny should never ever be viewed as a single incident in life that takes place by chance and occurs without any reason or precedent. In fact, destiny indeed is an integral component of life’s journey and plays a significant role in determining both direction and satisfaction. As one travels along the road of life, one’s destiny will change in order to accommodate the varying needs and the passions of that time, but it will always be up to each person to choose the next direction.

In the end, what really matters for all of us is not the finding of the opportunities themselves, but rather what we chose to do with them after they are found. That choice alone, will truly determine the final outcome of our destiny. As Nathaniel Hawthorne, one of America’s greatest 19^th century authors, so wisely observed:

“Every individual has a place to fill in the world and is important in some respect; whether he chooses to be so or not.”

-Your destiny my friend is in your hands, and never in the stars!

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DAILY SLICES OF LIFE - Living in the Present

   “If you worry about what might be, and wonder

    what might have been, you will ignore what is.”

         This very insightful and highly appropriate statement by an Unknown Author speaks clearly and precisely to a state of mind that seems to have become the dominant thinking in the current society. We are spending so much of our lives looking back at events in the past, and in trying to predict the future, that we fail to make full use of all the opportunities available all around us in the present. Even more than this, we tend, for the same reason, to make matters worse by never fully paying attention to all the thoughts, the feelings and the emotions that are occurring in the present. Unfortunately, by so doing, most of us have cheated ourselves of all the beauty and the pure satisfaction of living in the present.

         The “Present” is not something that exists by chance, and is most certainly, not something that can be readily ignored. All of our life’s experiences up to this moment, have combined together to bring us to this point. Every single encounter that took place, every challenge we faced, every failure we suffered, and every success we enjoyed, have all conspired to make us the persons that we are in this moment of time. To try to live in any way other time than in the present, serves only to fool us into believing that it was possible to do so, and then rob us of the priceless joys that are in fact all around us. This undoubtedly is one of man’s most serious failings, and the one with the greatest consequences. 

            Life itself, as experienced by the individual, takes place only in the present. It may include past experiences, but is not of the past. While the future has not yet arrived, and therefore cannot be included in the present. Whenever, for whatever reason, we choose to ignore the present, we fail to acknowledge that we can only truly live in the present alone, and that anything else we do is merely living in an illusion. The past is already gone and any amount of effort, resolve or regret will not change the outcomes or the mistakes. And the future is at this point just a concept, and at best a hoped-for prediction, that may or may not become a reality. In effect, the future is merely a shadow that does not exist, except in the mind of the individual, and has no direct influence whatsoever on the outcome in the present. 

It is only by living in the present that we are aware of all the thoughts, the feelings and the emotions as they appear, and feel their effects as they occur; and it is only when this is done can we truly begin to understand ourselves, and our purpose in life. By standing in the glare of the present we are able to see more, think clearer, and act more decisively and in so doing avoid the anxieties and the stresses of having to deal with events beyond our control.  Even more vital, by acting in the present, we have the opportunity to change and to influence the outcomes as they are happening, and increase our chances for our success and satisfaction, and thus ensure a better quality of living. 

This advice is neither new nor is it original. Man has recognized its truth in principle, and has been attempting to live by its dictum with variable success at best, for as long as he has existed on this earth. As the following quotation contained in the Sanskrit, the Holy Book of ancient India written more than 3500 years ago so clearly confirms:

“Each today well lived, makes yesterday a dream of happiness and each tomorrow a vision of hope. Look therefore to this one day for it, and it alone is life.”

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DAILY SLICE OF LIFE -Finding One’s Destiny

“We are but the instrument of Heaven;

Our work is not by Design, but Destiny”.

        

This quotation by the great 19^th century English poet and playwright Lord Edward Lytton, very neatly described a commonly held concept that a person’s destiny is subject to some kind of external “force” beyond their control, and that he was expected to accept and live by the consequences of its influence. Many people, more particularly in the Eastern traditions, still believe and accept this to be their lot and fate in life; ‘Their Naseeb.’ The more religious on the other hand, are content to attribute these experiences to supernatural sources and accept the results as the ‘Will of God.’ In both situations however, the recipients were quite content to live out their lives believing that the effect was somehow predetermined and that they could do nothing but accept the consequences. They believed that irrespective of the options they exercised, the ultimate course of action taken by the individuals will always carry them to their true destiny.

         But in the last two centuries, and more so in the Western cultures, with the increasing advances in science, understanding and logic, there has been a gradual shift away from this previously accepted view of destiny. While it is still used to refer to a sequence of events related to the future that may often appear to have been outwardly unalterably predetermined, it is now recognized that these are subject to change, and are in fact, directly dependent on the choices made by the individual. Currently, most people are comfortable with the argument that individuals can, and often do choose their own destiny by selecting different "pathways." William Jennings Bryan, the celebrated American politician and presidential candidate, described this situation most succinctly in this manner:

       “Destiny is not a matter of chance; it is a matter of choice.

        It is not a thing to be waited for; it is a thing to be achieved.”

         Unquestionably, the most important asset in finding and fulfilling one’s destiny is a thorough knowledge of one’s needs and aspirations. No one is ever able to determine his own destiny by copying the destiny of others, and certainly no one will ever succeed in doing so by following the lifestyles of others. Destiny is always personal and more closely related to one’s dreams, passions and purpose in life. These are the keys that must be used by the individual to align him correctly in order to fulfill his true destiny.

But like so many other important personal characteristics of mankind, the answer will only be found by looking inward, and can  never be found by spending time looking in any other direction; as so many people prefer to do. William Shakespeare, in his masterpiece, Julius Caesar, very clearly endorsed this fact when he declared, to any one who will listen:

“It is not in the stars to hold our destiny, but in ourselves.”

          In this respect, destiny should never ever be viewed as a single incident in life that takes place by chance, without any reason or precedent. It is indeed, an integral component of life’s journey that determines both direction and satisfaction. As one travels along the road of life, his destiny will change in order to accommodate the varying needs and the passions at the time, but it is always up to each person to choose the next direction. For what really matters are not the opportunities themselves, but what he does with them. That choice alone, will truly determine the final outcome of his destiny.

As Nathaniel Hawthorne, one of America’s greatest 19^th century authors, so wisely observed:

“Every individual has a place to fill in the world and is important in some respect; whether he chooses to be

so or not.”

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