“Love in its essence is spiritual fire.”
This profound and intriguing observation was recorded in the 1st century AD by Lucius Annaeus Seneca, an ancient Roman statesman who is considered to be one of the most influential of the Stoic philosophers of that period. He was, at the time, one of Rome’s leading intellectuals and a committed Stoic believer, whose views and writings were held in high regard.
In making the statement, he was in fact, reflecting the fundamental Stoic philosophy that life was all about appreciating what you are, and how you feel in the moment, and making sure that others know this. He was a highly emotional author who dealt extensively on the subject of love in his classic essays entitled, Epistulae Morales (Moral Epistles). Throughout his life, Seneca remained true to his Stoic principles that love was never something that comes from the outside, but in fact, was like a fire deeply instilled within us, waiting to be released.
He believed further, that we are all on a spiritual journey which, when undertaken with another person, yields the greatest pleasure and satisfaction. He insisted that this condensation of mutual love together will transform a happy relationship into a spiritual experience, a fire that has no end. He warned however, that this bond will not survive on its own, nor can it ever be taken for granted, but requires constant, steady reassurance to keep it burning. To this end, both partners must consciously make the effort to enhance the relationship, heighten their awareness, and strengthen the bond. Simply put, they must cast all selflessness aside, by becoming more conscious of each other’s needs, and enjoying the spiritual bond between them. The aim is to grow together and to be constantly aware, and conscious of the partner’s needs and wants.
Unfortunately, most people are not aware of the fact that the fundamental concept of a Spiritual (Pure) Love is totally different from the easily recognizable Physical Love or Romantic love. This has been a subject of on-going controversy for as long as mankind has sought to establish relationships. Indeed, the concept of “love” itself is certainly one of the most misunderstood in human behavior. The much more common physical love which we all use in some form in building our lives is the one which we use to satisfy our basic instincts of desire, pleasure or want, as well as to establish relationships or enhance personal security. By its very nature, this basic intention is possessive and always directed to satisfy a need in us. So that, consciously or other-wise, it is always offered with the expectation of some personal gain or pay back; and when these are absent, it withers and dies quickly. In expressing this type of love, irrespective of whether the object is inanimate or living or an idea or thought, it will persist only as long as there is some return or acknowledgment, be that tangible or intangible. Physical Love therefore, will only flourish where there is a promise of a gain!
In stark contrast spiritual love is totally unselfish, the kind that prefers to give only, and does not ask for anything in return. By any measure, it remains a strong and most sustaining force, and one that is never satisfied, but continues to try to outdo itself. It is the kind that gives only, and never seeks anything in return. It is never selfish or self-directed but rather compassionate, caring and always more concerned about the needs of others than it does for its own needs. By its very nature, spiritual love remains creative, always searching for ways to grow, to give more, and to celebrate in the giving. This is the kind of love about which, St. Augustine, the 5th century AD Roman Catholic philosopher, who is considered by many authorities to be one of the fathers of the Roman Catholic church, described this very special feeling in the following terms:
“Since loves grows within you, so beauty grows. For love is the beauty of the soul.”
St Paul, in his letter to the Corinthians, Chapter 13, verses 1-7, has given the world by far the best definition of the meaning of true spiritual love, one that has stood the test of time and of constant assault by legions of antagonists:
“A love that is patient, a love that is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude; it is not self-seeking. It is not easily angered; it keeps no record of wrongs. It is a love that does not delight in evil, but rejoices in the truth. It always trusts always hopes, and always perseveres.”
Buddha, many centuries before , in his infinite wisdom, also appreciated the power of spiritual love and insisted that it was indeed the very reason for living:
“Your purpose in life is to find your purpose, and give your whole heart and soul to it.”
These, to my mind are truly inspired, and among the most complete statements ever recorded, and nothing I have seen written or spoken before or after this can compare with the beauty and thoroughness of the descriptions.
Spiritual Love cannot in any conceivable way, be equated to a Physical love, which has its foundation in self-desire and emotional enhancement, and directly serves the instinctual needs of the ego. This renders it more clearly responsive to basic instincts and to social influences, and directed, to a large extent, to satisfying the ego. In contrast, spiritual love however, is deeply rooted in exploring the meaning and purpose of life beyond that of self-gratification. It is, in many ways, a journey of discovery and of implementation of the true meaning and purpose of life and its fulfillment, without any regard to personal gain or gratification. It finds expression not only between individual relationships, but even more, with the desire to give back to others or to the environment, without ever expecting any reward or acknowledgment, motivated always, by a deeply embedded love.
In every generation of mankind, and in every culture, there have been an endless series of people who have answered the call and stepped forward. The greatest majority will never be known since the circumstances were essentially private and limited, but there are many whose work have stood out by the power of their achievements. For me, the following stand out:
Dr. Albert Schweitzer, the incomparable Alsatian polymath who excelled as a physician, philosopher, theologian and in music, explained that “by having a reverence for life, we enter into a spiritual relation with the world, and by practicing reverence for life, we become good, deep and alive.” In saying this, he was confirming that the expression of spiritual love was rooted deep within us, as a connection to help us find the true meaning and purpose in life. This was essentially the true reason which caused this very highly successful professional to abandon all his fame and glory to travel to Lambarene, a small village in Africa, to establish a hospital and to preach the Gospel. This, by any measure, was a fine example of the expression of spiritual love!
St. Teresa of Kolkata, the Albanian Roman Catholic nun, who gave up a life of comfort and instead, spend it devoted to caring for the most vulnerable, weakest and neediest people living in the streets of Kolkata, and of the world. Whenever she was asked about the meaning of love, she would reply:
“True love never measures, it just gives.”
My own, personal awareness of meaning of true love happened more than three decades ago following a statement made by my late Uncle, for whom I have, and always have had, the highest possible admiration and respect, and whom I honor as my mentor and my guru. In describing his own marriage of more than six decades, he proudly announced that they had arrived at the very summit of the mountain, the point of spiritual love. And for me, after more than 57 years of marriage, sharing my life with my wife, being blessed with a family of 4 children, and a life truly overflowing with good memories, I believe I too, am beginning to understand what is meant by Spiritual Love:
“It is the unspoken word that speaks volumes.
The smile, however fleeting, that says ‘thank you,’
And the frown, however brief, that holds me back.
It is the feeling of joy and security whenever she appears;
No matter however many times she does so.
-And the momentary regret, whenever she leaves my side.
It is knowing what she thinks and wants, before her saying,
-And equally, certain that she will respond to my needs;
even before I had requested.
It is the warm feeling that flows over me, whenever she is with me,
And the deep pain and sadness I feel, whenever she hurts or she is not happy.
And, above all, it is my constant desire to thank God,
over and over, for this gift of my soul-mate,
And the profound hope that she will continue to grace my life for many more years.”
-Perhaps you too, have arrived at this state, and will no doubt then understand the true beauty of life. But for those who have yet to do so, I assure you, the journey to the summit of the mountain is well worth the effort and the will needed to do so.
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