“Living a
life that matters doesn't happen by accident.
It's not a matter of circumstance but of choice;
It's not a matter of circumstance but of choice;
Choose to
live a life that matters.”
This quotation is the final verse of a beautiful
poem recorded by Professor Michael Josephson
the internationally renowned author and inspirational speaker who spoke on matters
of ethics and character. He gave up a tenured law position in 1987 after more
than 20 years, to embark on a new career of writing and speaking. The poem,
entitled “What will matter” was
published in 2003 and has since become one of the most copied and discussed
document all over the world.
We live in a world in which most of us
are made to feel that our lives are dispensable. We are made to feel that
whatever we do will not be recognized in the way we expected it to be, unless
it suits the needs of others. Society itself is organized in such a way that
any contribution we make will in no way achieve the impact or recognition we
deserve by the others around us. In fact, very few of us truly feel that, to
the rest of the world, our life does matter. This is neither a new development,
nor does it apply to any specific society, group or individual. It has been in
existence for thousands of years as this quotation by the Prophet Isaiah in chapter 49, verse 4 of the Book of Isaiah, written in the 8th century BC, clearly
indicates:
“I have toiled in vain. I have spent my
strength for nothing and vanity.”
A man’s
attitude and expectation is basically a reflection of his own innate make-up
and personality and should not be dependent on, or modeled to, how others feel.
In truth, it really does not matter to the rest of the world if anyone of us
lives or dies; the world will continue, notwithstanding. What does matter above
all, is our own personal perception of life and its ultimate value to us. Most
of us tend to gauge our lives not by an objective assessment of our actions,
but rather by a very subjective overview of the results. We gauge our worth
more by success and contentment rather than our effect on others. The more we
become comfortable with our actions, the more we look forward to continuing
them and the more we find that our life matters. An Unknown Author, in a quotation on the subject, effectively placed
this in the right context when he recorded:
“It does
not matter what you do, it matters how you do it.
It does
not matter what you look at, it matters how you look at it.
It does
not matter what your life is, It matters how you live it.”
All human beings have an in-born need
to be continually reminded that life does matter, if only to compensate for the
deep void and insignificance that they instinctively feel for being minute
specks in a vast universe. We spend all our lives trying to overcome, in any
way we can, the natural inclination of this insignificance. We devote great
effort continuously searching for success, health, relationships, happiness,
achievements, and meaning so as to justify to ourselves that our life matters.
And when this does not happen, we are likely to suffer the consequences
associated with non-fulfillment. We become disappointed, dissatisfied and
unfulfilled and set in motion a series of emotional and biological changes
which can have significant health and welfare consequences. J.K.Rowling, the highly regarded author of
the amazingly successful “Harry Potter
Series” who was herself a recurrent victim of hopelessness and depression,
explained this feeling in the following terms:
“Depression is the most unpleasant thing I have
ever experienced. It is the absence of being able to envisage that you will
ever be cheerful again. It is the absence of Hope.”
A
poll conducted by the CDC some time ago, determined that more than 40% of the
people surveyed admitted not having a meaning or purpose in their life, and
another 25% were neutral or indifferent. This finding is not surprising since
our society is designed to please the majority and ignore the individual.
Because of this, many people tend to view the value of their lives as a factor
of popularity, importance, or property accumulated. They judge their success by
the number of friends collected, reputation acquired, power amassed, and
influence they exerted. And even then there are others who feel despite all their
best efforts, their life had just passed them by. Even after they worked hard
and succeeded in all their endeavors there was still a feeling of emptiness
because in their minds, their life didn’t matter. To them life was without
meaning and it would have made no real difference to care or matter. This was
the reason why the great Jewish-American, Austrian-born psychiatrist and
neurologist Viktor Frankl, who
survived several years in a Nazi concentration camp in Auschwitz recorded in
his literary masterpiece entitled, “Man’s
search for Meaning”:
“Ever more people today have the means to live, but
no meaning to live for.”
This is also why Josephson
in his lectures and in his poem urged his audience that it was not a matter
of ‘circumstances but of choice’ that they should ‘choose a life that matters.’
Our life itself will be just another story recorded in the book
of life unless we develop a purpose for living and the courage to carry out the
purpose. There can really be no real quality in our life if we spend it all just
drifting along, following the crowd without direction. This equates to the
overall animal instinct that ensures survival but denies any real meaning. Robert Bialostocki, a New Zealand
born author, mentor and facilitator who has an international following under
the banner A Life That Matters offers
the following observation:
“A life that matters should firstly
matter to you. Your personal health, peace and joy are important prerequisites
for a life of sustained living, giving and value”
This
to me represents a perfect description of the rewards and benefits of living a
life that matters and underlines the urgency of taking every precaution to
avoid falling victim to complacency.
History
overflows with examples of people of all walks of life who have lived their
lives so that others have benefited from them and we see examples unfolding all
around us and among us, daily. While this may go a long way to confirm that there is a good
deal of goodness in the world, yet we cannot deny that we live in a world where
we are expected to conform to the prevailing norms, where the emphasis is
personal accomplishment and gain, and where the rewards are measured in degrees
of domination. In this setting, it is not surprising that many people are
concerned with acquiring more and sharing less, and where those in need are
allowed to suffer while the others flaunt their gains. This to me is the real
curse of civilization even as we have enjoyed so much of its advancements.
I
have no doubt that each person has his own list of those who have lived
outstanding lives that mattered and have reaped the rewards in doing so. Some
of them were outstanding examples of humility and service as were those of Dr. Albert Schweitzer and Mother Teresa, who
gave up a life of privilege and opportunity to serve the neediest and most
underprivileged. And leaders like Mahatma
Gandhi, Martin Luther King and Nelson Mandela, who devoted their lives to
lead their people in peaceful resistance. These are recognized and remembered by the world for leading lives that truly
mattered. But leading such lives matters equally even at the personal level.
When a teacher devotes time and patience to help her autistic students learn to
function better, or when a mother chooses to interrupt a promising career to
devote her time to her young children, or the successful businessman who takes
time from his work to provide meals to the homeless, or when the very busy
surgeon, leaves his busy practice to spend time attending to the victims of a
natural disaster thousands of miles away, they are all living lives that
matter.
This
indeed is the real catalyst to living a life that matters. It is never ever to
do with any special endowment or ability we may possess or have acquired, and
everything to do with attitude and intention. It cannot appear by chance but
must be consciously and deliberately acquired. It is doing something extra, not
because you are told to do so, or to improve your image, but simply because you
want to do. It means deliberately choosing to spend time in activities with a
strong sense of purpose that permits you to feel that your life does have
meaning other than self-gratification and self indulgence. It means deliberately
cultivating meaningful intentions and relationships with others in which both
will feel the rewards and fulfillment. Above all, it is sense of satisfaction
and the feeling of contentment that only comes after you have lived a life that
matters. As Maya Angelou, the very
highly respected and honored African-American author, poet and critic, whose
life was a model of living in ways that mattered, so very correctly observed:
“People will forget what you said, people will
forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.”
This indeed is the hallmark of trying to live a
life that mattered. It is the one that measures success not by personal gain,
but rather by personal enrichment.
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