LIFE IS PASSING BY

“How did it get so late so soon?
It’s night before its afternoon.
December is here before its June.
My goodness, how the time has flown!
How did it get so late so soon? “  

            This very brief and somewhat confusing poem was composed by the unforgettable American author, poet, cartoonist and artist Theodor Seuss Geisel, who published more than 60 children’s books under the pseudo-name, Dr. Seuss. Many of these books have been ranked among the most popular children publications of all time, and have been translated into more than 20 different languages. Even in their apparent childishness, the stories conveyed profound lessons on social and moral issues that relate both to children of all ages, and to adults. In this poem, Dr. Seuss, in a confusing and disjointed manner, was referring specifically to a profound concern of many people as they get older. Many authorities believe that he was in fact reflecting on his own life which, at the time of publication, was reaching its end. It appears that he was expressing, like so many others at that age do, that his life was slipping away before his own eyes, and he was lamenting his disappointment that this was happening long before he was ready to accept it.  

         Feelings of increasing disappointment that life is passing by long before we are ready to accept the end is by no means an uncommon happening in today’s setting. This seems to be happening more and more in this current society where life revolves less on what happens today, and more on what tomorrow holds in store. Most of us are locked into our daily routines of just living for today, and strenuously resist any form of change that may disrupt the routine. And quite often we do this in spite of being fully aware that in doing so, we may be letting opportunities for growth and happiness slip away. We resign ourselves to the risk of ending up feeling sorry for ourselves and of regretting the lost chances that have gone by, while envying the successful persons who ventured out and are reaping the rewards. We compound this feeling by spending much of our time either preoccupied with the things that we did in the past that should have been done better, or being paralyzed with fear that any attempt to try to do things differently now, will only lead to more regrets. It is no surprise therefore that we end up holding on desperately to the present even when we know that doing this will lead to more futility and disappointment. We never seem to learn that we can never hold on to the relentless march of time, and that the harder we try to do so, the less we succeed. The ultimate outcome of doing so is one of emptiness, as was so exquisitely described by an Anonymous Author when he observed:

“Time is like a handful of sand, the tighter you grasp it,

the faster it runs through your fingers.”

            But finding one’s life purpose is neither an easy undertaking nor does it follow proscribed rules. However noble and rewarding it may appear to anyone who successfully achieves this, the fact is that the great majority of people still choose to conform to rules rather than break them. They are content to continue to live as they have always done to be sure to get the results that they always got. They prefer the daily routine to which they are accustomed, rather than to spending the time and energy necessary to find the effort, passion and direction needed to take a different road. This indeed is the fundamental difference between the majority, who choose the easy road of safety and conformity, and the others, who travel on the more challenging, rocky and risky road of seeking life’s fulfillment. Lord Buddha, in his great wisdom, alluded to this fact when he offered the following meaningful advice:

“No one saves us but ourselves.

No one can and no one may.

We ourselves must walk the path.”

People in general are usually content with what they have and are quite comfortable with this. They are reluctant to try to risk testing  anything unknown for fear of failure. Deep down, at the subconscious level, a conflict rages between having to give up something tested and tried and therefore ‘good’, for something new and unpredictable and therefore ‘not good.’ More often than not, the former invariably wins out. All the people who have succeeded in changing their lives have all recognized that creating any form of change in their lifestyle requires effort, faith and confidence. Without these, it would have been an impossible task to leave their harbor of comfort and safety and step out in a direction that is frequently uncertain and unpredictable, with no guarantee that their effort will be rewarded.

 Interestingly and equally significant, contrary to the prevailing impressions, those who eventually stepped out and were successful, were never motivated by any blind envy of others or irrational impulses, but did so with a deep sense of understanding and commitment in themselves and their capabilities. Their initial steps may be timid and cautious, but they are always accompanied by a determination to move forward, and a vision that drives them on to seek change. This indeed, is the nucleus that makes the difference between those who spend their lives just living, and the other, more successful ones who seek the best they can from life they have. The late, great Ghanaian diplomat and former secretary-general of the United Nations, Kofi Annan placed all of this in the right context when he wrote:

 “To live is to choose, but to choose well.

You must know who you are and what you stand for,

where you want to go and why you want to get there.”

  

This conflict between holding safe or moving forward plays itself over and over in the minds of so many people, particularly as they are growing older and beginning to look back. During the early years of life, the young are so occupied with the challenges and opportunities unfolding around them that they give little time to the thought of an end, far less to looking back. Their concern is on climbing to the top of the mountain as quickly as they can, without any thought of what comes after. But with age comes increasing awareness and introspection, and with this comes the inevitable reflection on a life already spent; and yet to be spent. Too often the answer is full of disappointment and dissolution, coming from an awareness that so little has been accomplished and so much more has been left on the table. This is precisely what Dr. Seuss was lamenting in his poem when he asked:

“How did it get so late so soon?”

Similar regrets are heard over and over in every setting and in every country of the world as people become conscious of their road’s ending with much still undone. These feelings are aggravated by the belief that all is lost because they may be getting too old to be able to try again. When added to the effect of aging and the diseases that inevitable comes with age, it is not surprising that the incidence of depression and isolation increases dramatically among the older population. This is what Norman Cousins, the American author, political activist and peace advocate whose life was spent fully engaged, despite significant heath problems, was alluding to when he noted:

“Death is not the greatest loss in life. The greatest loss in life is what dies inside us while we live.”

Any change or innovation however, will only begin when we are convinced that that this can be a ‘good’ thing and we address our subconscious resistance that any change is likely to ‘hurt’. Society’s obsession with values that reward conformity to rules and regulations must also be questioned since this might well be the most significant obstacle to overcome. But for the countless numbers of people from all walks of life, who have successfully ventured forward into new and exciting horizons, there is an unbelievable satisfaction that could never be imagined. The names of these people will fill endless volumes of the books of life and even though the circumstances were different, the constant theme over-riding every story involves challenging the status quo and living the new dream to its fullest.

I have no doubt that every one will have his own list of people who have successfully challenged themselves and have gone on to achieve far more than was expected. For me the following have proved beyond any reasonable expectation that life offers opportunities to those who search, even to the very end:

Raymond Kroc, at the age of 52, after a life of lowly unspectacular employment and beset by chronic medical problems, set out to build the McDonald Brand into a meaningful enterprise and succeeded to make it the world’s greatest, by the time he died 30 years later.

Grandma Moses, a woman who first took up painting to replace her needlework because of arthritis at 76, after a long life working in the farm. She died 25 years later after creating more than 1000 paintings and a reputation as one of America’s greatest artists.

Louise Hays, whose early life was a disastrous mixture of abuse, rape, early pregnancy and poverty. She spent most of her early adult life drifting through a variety of jobs and a broken marriage. At 48 she found religion, became an inspirational speaker and author, and 10 years later successfully founded Hay House a book publication firm, and built it into one of the biggest company in the self-publishing industry.

Peter Mark Roget, a distinguished British physician, founding member and early secretary of the prestigious Royal Society of Medicine who after retiring at the age of 70, turned his attention to compiling the Thesaurus of English Words, considered to be the standard reference in the English language. He continued to expand this until his untimely death in 1869.

But these stories are not necessarily limited to special people exploiting their special talents. There are endless examples of people who were able to rise above their existing status and successfully change their lives. Such examples as:

Sylvester Stallone, a young man who spent his early life working at odd jobs in restaurant, animal care and acting before he turned to writing a best seller and getting it accepted and produced, with him in the star role as “Rocky”.

Brad Pitt, the very successful and accomplished actor who spent his early life as an animal impersonator and limousine driver, before launching his second career in acting.

Andrea Bocelli, the highly accomplished Concert Singer and musician who began his career as a Defense Attorney before he changed his job some 10 years later to begin classical singing.

        The overriding theme that goes through all these stories relates far less to lack of opportunity or experience or good luck. Rather they are more related to the individual recognizing the need for change and finding the courage to do so. It is not enough to admit that life is passing by more quickly than expected, but it is much more important, to make use of the time available in such a way that leaves you without regret. The successful American author and inspirational speaker, H. Jackson Brown, Jr., reminded us all of this when he wrote:

“Don’t say you don’t have enough time. You have exactly the same amount of hours per day that were given to Helen Keller, Louis Pasteur, Michelangelo, Mother Teresa, Leonardo da Vinci, Thomas Jefferson and Albert Einstein.”

Clearly, we all are afforded opportunities to live our lives to our fullest. How we do it and how much we achieve will depend entirely on the attitude we bring to bear at the time. The fundamental difference is never in the opportunity, but always within us. It depends on whether we a willing to choose conformity, avoid any risk taking and then live in regret of lost opportunities, or to grasp the challenge and ride the wave to new experiences. This could have been what the great English playwright; William Shakespeare was leading to when he wrote the following observation in his literary masterpiece, Julius Caesar:

“There is a tide in the affairs of men.

Which when taken at the flood, leads on to fortune;

Omitted, all the voyage of their life,

is bound in shallows and in miseries.”

<       >

-KINDLY SHARE THIS WITH YOUR FRIENDS-

CHASING REALITY

“Reality is that which, when you stop believing in it, does not go away”

         This very basic definition by Phillip K. Dick, the highly respected, American author of science fiction stories, that regularly explored philosophical, social and political themes in society, speaks directly to the complexity of trying to explain reality’s true meaning. Strictly speaking, reality relates to any and everything we experience with our five senses. Everything we feel, hear, see, smell and taste is included in our concept of realty. Hence in our mind’s eye, if it is not seen, or touched, or heard or tasted or smelt it is unlikely to be accepted as real. But clearly this answer is neither accurate nor is it complete. For although it would be correct to interpret as reality, touching a person, seeing the sky, hearing the sound of a moving train, or smelling a rose, yet is thinking a thought, or solving a mathematical problem not reality? And again, how does one categorize such experiences as the images created during episodes of ‘virtual reality’ that appear so real?

This is precisely why Albert Einstein, the great German-born, Nobel Prize winning theoretical physicist whose theory on Quantum Physics changed our understanding of our world, was moved to announce:

“Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a persistent one.”

He argued that since reality relates to objects appearing as they are and since everything perceived by an individual result from electrical stimulations reaching the brain, it would be impossible to prove that anything exists, except as “illusions” in the mind of the observer. He envisaged reality as merely an illusory experience that remains unchanged making it seem ‘real.’ He concluded that what is referred to as reality is in fact a set of neural firings interpreted by the brain; in effect it is an illusion, albeit permanent. This apparent ambiguity in perception is what has given rise to the understanding that reality is in effect a very individual experience that cannot be exactly copied by anyone else. Because of this for example, the same blue sky seen by one person is never seen in the exactly the same way by another.

          

Man has been searching for the true meaning of reality for as long as he has inhabited the world. As far back as the 5^th century BC, the great Greek philosopher, Parmenides, described his concept of reality in the following terms:

“We can speak and think only of what exists. And what exists is uncreated and imperishable for it is whole and unchanging and complete. It was not, nor shall be different since it is now, all at once, one and continuous.”

He argued that reality exists and continues to do so without changing, and once something appears, it cannot change. But later, both Plato and Aristotle challenged this view, insisting that reality is indeed subject to change. While Lucius Annaeus Seneca, the great Roman Stoic Philosopher, statesman and author, in trying to offer an explanation for the vast variations in our perceptions of reality, was moved to observe:

“We are more often frightened than hurt, and we suffer more from imagination than from reality.”

 In fact, arguments and disagreements like these have continued on through the ages without any definitive consensus developing.

         Current thinking is not any clearer. Even with the findings that space, energy, matter and time each operate in ways that are unintelligible to the human mind, our perceived concepts of reality continue to remain obscure. The popular consensus is that reality is what each individual observes through the responses that these observations trigger in his brain. In effect, the true definition is left to each individual’s brain to determine, so reality in short, is what the individual experiences and the reactions they trigger. Like so many other aspects of human behavior, reality does not lend itself to easy explanation but rather comes down to each person accepting what he finds comfortable to be able to function.

         Douglas Adams, the extremely successful British author, sculptor and artist, whose works received international acclaim, once observed:

“Everything you see or hear or experience in any way at all is specific to you. You create a universe by perceiving it. So everything in the universe you perceive is specific to you.”

He correctly stressed that reality is directly related to perception and therefore cannot be shared. And even in each individual, reality is never consistent and unchanging, but varies in relation to what is received. It is not difficult to understand why people see reality is such different and contrasting ways when one considers than each person sees his world differently. Each individual brings to bear factors that are more related to subjective responses rather than objective ones. The view of their world is based on such deeply embedded factors as insecurities, beliefs, identities, image and experience. The end result is always a cumulative effect of everything reaching the brain which then formulates an image; this is reality. Even in people with   compromised vision or any of the other senses, the process of formulation continues in the brain, producing their concept of reality.

        Sigmund Freud, the great German-born psychiatrist and founder of the school of Psychoanalysis, in his assessment expressed the relationship of Illusions and Reality in the following, very pragmatic terms:

 “Illusions commend themselves to us because they save us pain and allow us to enjoy pleasure instead. We must therefore accept it without complaint when sometimes they collide with a bit of reality against which they are dashed to pieces.”

He took pains to point out that reality was fundamentally just a more permanent expression of our thoughts and our illusory experiences. This was why it was so difficult to persuade a person with hallucinations or delusions that what was being experienced was not reality. To him, we see what our minds imagine!

                  

It should come as no surprise therefore, that we spend so much our lives chasing after reality, while we live in hope, never knowing that what we see, do, or think is in fact illusory or real.

         Earl Nightingale, one of America’s most successful radio personalities and author of several inspirational books, went to great lengths to draw attention to the fundamental relationship between our subconscious attitude and ultimate reality. He explained his concept of reality in this manner:

“Whatever we plant in our subconscious mind, and nourish with repetition and emotion, will one day become reality.”

In psychology, the universal truth is that the subconscious is the creator of all reality. The objective reality that surrounds all our living is formed by our subconscious, and every thing we perceive in the physical world has its origins in the thoughts and beliefs within the psyche. To the behaviorist, every aspect of life; what is perceived and how it is perceived, has its direct origin in the brain. William James, one of the leading American thinkers of the 19^th century, a philosopher and psychologist, explained this relationship very effectively when he wrote:

“Thoughts become perceptions.

Perceptions become reality.

Alter your thoughts, alter your reality.”

To me, this statement fully epitomizes the fundamental assessment of reality as it applies to each individual, and explains why there are such great variations in the appearance of reality. Since our thoughts are never consistent, then so is our sense of reality, equally inconsistent.

          Further, with the development of the Quantum Hypothesis, scientists insist that everything we experience with all of our senses can be broken down to fundamental atoms moving about at different rates. This means that what we see as a real object is merely our interpretation of what we think it should be. As Anais Nin, the provocative French-American author of Cuban heritage, who achieved international fame as a author, essayist and critic, so wisely explained:

“We don’t see things as they are; we see them as we are.”

                                

         Because of this nebulous state of our understanding, it is clear that it never ever pays to chase after reality, especially if the source of that reality is not directly your own, but is someone else. Nor should it ever be allowed to so control life to the extent that progress is frustrated. Either of these options is unacceptable. Instead, since reality is the result of individual perception, it should be left to each individual to use his own senses to determine his own course. Anwar Sadat, the 3^rd president of the Republic of Egypt and recipient of the Nobel Peace Prize in 1978 for negotiating peace with Israel, offered one of the finest explanations to understanding the true meaning when he observed:

“He who cannot change the very fabric of his thought, will never be able to change reality, and will never make progress.”

This indeed should be the approach that everybody should adopt in dealing with reality, since it is only way to ensure its truth.

<        >       

LIVING YOUR DREAMS

“All our dreams will come true, but only if we have the courage to pursue them.”

      This quotation by the great entrepreneur and founder of the world’s greatest entertainment empire, Walt Disney, is to my mind one of the finest examples of success in a man who persisted with his dreams even when no one else cared anymore. It also echoes the sentiments of so many other successful entrepreneurs and leaders who have dared to live their dreams, have seen them come to fruition, and blossom beyond their wildest expectation.

We are all, to a greater or lesser extent, dreamers, and yet unfortunately very few of us have acquired the courage and conviction necessary to follow our dreams to completion. Instead we prefer to spend our time focusing on our limitations, or making excuses for why we cannot be the people we would like to be. Many of us are content to sit back and spend our time in the useless pastime of admiring or trying to copy those who have succeeded, or envying their success, or even worse, criticizing and vilifying them for succeeding. We have no difficulty in convincing ourselves that to follow our dream is unrealistic, impractical, and totally far-fetched. We try to argue that such a life is reserved for a few select people who are different and are specially endowed with select ability, and that for the rest of humanity, it is unrealistic to expect this result. Few of us really believe, as the amazingly successful American actress, TV personality, author and entrepreneur, Oprah Winfrey, has so confidently stated:

“The biggest adventure you can ever take is to live your dreams.”

Theories concerning the origin, purpose and meaning of dreams, their complexity and disagreements continue to abound. Sigmund Freud, the great Swiss-German psychiatrist and recognized father in the field of Psychoanalysis, firmly believed that our dreams are windows into our deepest unconscious minds and as such reflect our profoundest needs, hopes and desires. Carl Jung, a former student and subsequent rival of Freud, went further to suggest that dreams were the product of our repressed wishes and primal needs, and offer us the opportunity to review our actions, think through unresolved issues and find right solutions. Yet there are others, including Allan Hobson, Professor of Psychiatry at Harvard University, who prefer to explain dreams as events that give rise to the images, sensations, activity, thoughts, sounds and voices that are experienced during sleep, strictly as attempts by the mind to make sense of past experiences.

But to me, dreams are far more than the random, illogical brain impulses with no reason or purpose, that so many are content to accept. Dreaming, whether during sleep or awake, is a vital and essential function in human beings. Dreams are the engine and the driving force that make a life worthy of living. They are present to motivate, inspire, stimulate, encourage and help the individual to achieve his hopes and goals. There really is no fundamental difference between the dreams we have during sleep or the dream born of an idea in the mind of the astute individual. They are both natures’ way of shining a light in the dark, or lighting a fire which, if followed will lead to satisfaction. Unfortunately however, our lives are cluttered with dreams that have come and been ignored or abandoned along the way, without realizing that all these dreams, however strange, are reflections of our very spirit seeking to find true fulfillment in life.

A dream to be effective however, must first be recognized by the dreamer and it must ignite in him a creative fire which forces him to take action. Many of these fires are started, but only relatively few are ever carried to completion, the rest are discarded as merely interesting but not applicable, or a nuisance and be forgotten. Yet these very same dreams in the hands of others, the gifted, the pathfinders and the entrepreneurs of the world, will grow into great ideas and equally great discoveries. Henry David Thoreau, the great American author, poet and philosopher, one of the early leaders of the abolition movement in America, and a strong supporter of the philosophy of civil disobedience, so successfully used by such great leaders as Gandhi, King and Mandela, was an ardent believer of living his dreams. He confidently declared his faith in his dreams, and was determined to make full use of them throughout his life. The following quotation leaves no doubt about his philosophy:

"If one advances confidently in the direction of his dreams,

 and endeavors to live the life which he has imagined,

he will meet with a success, unexpected in common hours."

A dream without fulfillment remains a mere fantasy of the mind. It will wither and die and be forgotten, without ever seeing the light of day, and the dreamer, like so many others before him, is robbed of the joy and satisfaction of reaping its fruits. Many of these are victims of the personal apathy and disbelief that inhabits so many of us and shows itself as so many variations of anger, jealousy and discontent. And other dreams will die because the dreamer lacked preparedness or the willingness to expend the effort needed. Tragically, too many people spend their lifetime chasing after thier dreams only to find disillusionment and emptiness, and many more do not even bother to search out their dreams, being quite content to accept a life without meaning. For without dreams to set the direction and to show the way, we are condemned to a life without goals or fulfillment. We become like the lonely goldfish swimming aimlessly in his bowl of water, or the cuckoo that appears on the clock each hour of the day. Tom Bradley, the outstanding African-American politician who served as Mayor of Los Angeles for more than 20 years, was indeed precise when he observed:

“The only thing that will stop you from fulfilling your dreams is You!”

      In many ways, Dreams are the seeds the mind may use to set in motion the steps necessary to achieve emotional and physical satisfaction. Lao Tzu, the great ancient Chinese philosopher, several thousand years ago used the metaphor of cultivating a seed to explain his view on dreams when he wrote:

“Be careful what you water your dreams with.

 Water them with worry and fear and you will produce weeds that choke the life from your dream.

Water them with optimism and solutions and you will cultivate success.

Always be on the lookout for ways to turn a problem into an opportunity for success.

Always be on the lookout for ways to nurture your dream.”

Anyone can readily recognize the wisdom of these words and will no doubt understand that a dream, to be effective in its role, must first be understood, and carefully nurtured before it can yield the fruit that is expected of it.

                                                                                 

For dreams to be truly effectively and meaningfully nurtured, they must of necessity be our own dreams and must not belong to another person. Far too often, instead of trying to live our own life and pursue our own dreams, we find it easier to follow the life and dreams that make other people happy. Most of the time, we do this out of a sense of inferiority and inadequacy in ourselves, or fear of our own inability. We become afraid to lose the other person’s attention and affection, or of being ignored for not conforming to their standards and expectations. We continue to do this mainly to avoid exposing ourselves to perceived risks, and to protect ourselves from the pain of failure. We end up paying a steep price for this emotional security of living in the shadows of other people by doing what they want and suppressing our own inner spirit. This to me is a price that is far too much for any one to pay. Jim Carrey, the highly successful Canadian actor, impressionist, comedian and painter, whose early life overflowed with disappointments, was speaking from his heart when he said:

“It is better to risk starving to death, than surrender.

If you give up on your dreams, what’s left?”

         Lin Yutang, one of the most influential Chinese writers of the 20^th century, whose works in Chinese and in English have gained universal recognition, describes the dynamic effect of dreams in the following way:

“However vague they are, dreams have a way of concealing themselves and leave us no peace until they are translated into reality, like seeds germinating underground, they are sure to sprout in their search for the sunlight."

To him, dreams have a special way of drawing attention to themselves, and of reminding us of their presence. But it is then left entirely to us to connect with them, to feed them with rich and positive thoughts, to learn more about them and about ourselves. They must be understood and assimilated before they become realities. They need to be defended and protected and allowed time to grow to their fullest expression. And even when all is done, the fruits must be carefully harvested at the right time to achieve maximum result. Without this care and attention, they will be, as so many become, disappointments. Any entrepreneur who has successfully lived his dream will willingly attest the truth of this statement.

        

But even a good dream can only be effective when it is strongly supported by a vision that is clear and uncompromising and by a true willingness to do everything needed to bring it to reality. It demands setting aside the sacrifices and disappointments that result from the criticisms and failures that occur along the way, and using them to reinforce the determination to succeed. It requires taking the time for a thorough understanding of the dream, your intentions, and the anticipated end result. Without all of this knowledge in place, it would be impossible to visualize or appreciate the final result. The great American poet and columnist, James Langdon Hughes, warned us of this likelihood in a brilliantly worded statement when he wrote:

“Hold fast to your dreams. For if your dreams die, life is a broken winged bird that cannot fly.”

Success will happen when dreams are accompanied by an insatiable desire to continue creativity, introduce new ideas and modify original concepts. Like any flower, the dream must be kept alive, nurtured and allowed to blossom to its full beauty. When all of this is done, after the nurturing is completed and the dream becomes a reality, the joy and the contentment and the satisfaction that follows can be exquisite. As no doubt, Hughes would have joyously noted, as he joined Walt Disney and the chorus of the countless numbers of happy entrepreneurs around the world who successfully lived their dreams:

 “The beautiful-winged bird has soared up high into the heavens.”

<       >


Kindly share this essay with all your friends and family 

 

 

FINDING TRUE COURAGE

    “Courage is what it takes to stand up and speak.

     Courage is also what it takes to sit down and listen.”

         Courage is generally defined as the quality of mind and spirit necessary to face difficulty, danger, pain or uncertainty, without being overcome with fear. But this definition is neither complete nor does it do justice to it. While it does indeed require the setting aside of uncertainty and fear by taking action, it also means that the action taken must be of benefit to oneself and to others. This is precisely what Sir Winston Churchill, the great British prime minister, who is remembered for leading the Allies to victory over the German Nazi armies in WWII, meant to express in the above quotation. While it does indeed take courage to stand up and speak, especially when everyone is waiting to respond, it requires an equal, though different courage, to withhold speech or action when the situation does not warrant any such action. He actually elaborated on his definition by noting:

“Courage is rightly esteemed the first of human qualities because it is the quality that guarantees all others.”

         Courage can be expressed in a variety of ways as a response to threatening situations at hand. These include the more easily recognized physical forms, in which action is carried at the risk of bodily or mental harm, including death. The firefighter who rushes into a burning home or the person who jumps into a raging river to save a drowning man are examples of actions of courage arising from an instinctive response deep within the psyche. But true courage is not limited only those actions which involve overcoming the fear of confrontation, but equally to challenging unacceptable ideas or situations that are likely to cause some inconvenience or harm to others. Any action taken must always be seen, not as an impulsive act, but as the consequence of a deep desire or judgment to act correctly in the face of fear or risk. In some ways, courage can be seen as the moral compass that determines all the subsequent activities. Aristotle, the ancient Greek Philosopher, very correctly described this action in the following terms:

“Courage is the first of human qualities; because it is the quality that guarantees all others. Next to honor, it is the greatest quality of the mind.”

         But finding true courage is a great deal more complicated than just being fearless or bold in response to a specific situation. It is certainly more than the conditioned or automatic responses which occur as a defensive action taken to avoid personal injury. These actions are instinctual and self-protective and no different from the desperate response of a fleeing threatened animal that turns to face its adversary when escape is not an option. True courage in anyone, must begin by first confronting oneself with the harsh reality of whom and what you are. Admitting to being afraid is not enough without confronting and eliciting the root cause. For it really is never the outward manifestation or admission of fear of a situation that that drives a wedge between the person and his action, but rather the underlying fear of confronting oneself. It is this inherent fear of self-confrontation that causes so much of the resistance and negative responses that eventually lead to acceptance of defeat and submission.  Martin Luther King, Jr. the charismatic leader of the successful American Civil Rights movement recognized this conflict when he noted:

“We must build dykes of courage to hold back the flood of fear.”

True courage should never be measured by the absence of fear alone, but by the act of doing what is considered to be right in spite of the fear. It is not, as is generally thought, an inborn gift that some people may possess while others do not, and certainly not an emotion or a state of mind. Courage is born of an honest desire to move forward in the face of fear and retaliation, even when that may appear to be beyond their limit, when the action is considered appropriate. Michael S. Josephson, the highly respected former Law Professor who gave up the practice of law to establish and lecture in his Institute of Ethics, explained this in a clear and uncompromising statement:

“Ordinary people, even weak people can do extraordinary things through temporary courage generated by a situation. But the person of character does not need a situation to generate his courage. It is part of his being and a standard approach to all his life’s challenges.”

It is not the actual act of the moment that determines true courage, but rather the reason for the action. In effect, it is feeling that comes from knowing the fear and its consequences, and yet still going forward anyway, because it was the right thing to do.

         John Rex MBA, a former CFO at Microsoft and presently a Leadership Speaker, published an article entitled “The True Meaning of Courage is not What You Think” in 2017. This has impressed me as one of the most accurate assessments of courage I have encountered and one which is worthy of study. His description of the courageous firefighters who chose to enter the crumbling towers following the 9/11 attack in New York is impressive:

“I looked into the firefighters’ eyes and witnessed their fear. I also saw their unflinching resolve to do their duty and save lives. I was impressed by how ordinary humans could show such extraordinary valor. It is not that they weren’t afraid—they were absolutely terrified; but they chose to charge in anyway.”

These young men, many of whom lost their lives in the courageous effort of saving the lives of countless innocent victims, have justifiably earned the respect and honor showered on them as genuine examples of true courage. Rex correctly summarized their attitude at the moment of action when he wrote, “the significance of fear paled in comparison to the importance of the mission to be accomplished.”

.

            Shannon L. Adler, a very successful and prolific American inspirational author once observed that:

“One of the greatest regrets in life is being what others want you to be, rather than being yourself.”

This to me is a very accurate assessment of the end result to so many people in society who have succumbed to the pressures to conform, by sacrificing their ‘can do’ attitude to the more convenient ‘what will this do to me’ attitude. When we do this, we in fact, undermine our ability to confront the underlying causes of those fears, and erect barriers between us and ourselves.  We are victims of our own doing and as such, unable or unwilling to proceed forward. Rather than being an impetus to action, it becomes a obstacle forcing us to seek the easy way out; by admitting defeat. We end up, like so many other people have become, dissolute and disappointed and lose the ability to stand up with courage; the one attribute that surpasses all the others. This was exactly what the very successful inventor and entrepreneur, Steve Jobs was alluding to when he addressed the students at Stanford University in 2005, giving this advice:

“And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and your intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.”  

            Contrary to popular belief, courage is never inherited and does not automatically pass down from generation to generation, like so many other factors. We however, are all born with the potential to be so, and its subsequent development depends to a very large extent on the influences and the examples to which we are exposed. How we choose to respond is a reflection of the learning and inspiration we acquire from the behavior of others in contact. It is clearly a great deal easier for a child to acquire this confidence, if it is exposed to people who live and act in this manner. People who choose to live with highly ethical and deeply held principles as the fundamental core of their character cannot help but pass on these standards to those around them. They do not have to say or show anything to anyone to justify their actions in anyway, nor their determination to succeed, their attitude will speak for them. Mary Anne Radmacher, the very successful American author, whose inspirational books are widely appreciated worldwide, accurately described true courage in this manner:

“Courage doesn’t always roar. Sometimes courage is the little voice at the end of the day that says: try again tomorrow.”

Finding the courage within yourself is never easy to do. It requires a determined and unflinching approach of self examination. As an Unknown Author very correctly advised:

“Look into the mirror of yourself and face what you are seeing with honesty; and then take steps to change what you see to what you want to see.”

Courage is not simply a single response but a state of being. Before one can be sure of oneself, there must first be a true fundamental understanding of oneself. Knowing who you are, your own weaknesses and your inadequacies and becoming comfortable with them is something that most people find difficult to do. Without this step, one is not able to confront the personal facades we have constructed to find excuses and blame others. Without removing these, it would be impossible to develop the integrity and honesty necessary to establish a moral compass needed. Without this clearly imprinted in the psyche, it will be impossible to find the courage to stand up to anything wrong by doing right. Without the sense of moral justice against wrong or unethical behavior firmly established, we can only be bystanders, offended by the behavior rather than finding courage to confront the feelings and take action.

Marcus Tullius Cicero, the great Roman author, statesman, scholar and philosopher whose life coincided with the fall of the great Roman Empire, described the true meaning of courage in these terms:

         “A man of courage is also a man full of faith.”

-I can think of nothing that describes true courage in a man more than the fact that it is a reflection of his full inner faith and confidence.

<        >

                                              -Kindly share with your family and friends

LIVING LIFE TO THE FULLEST

“Your time is limited; don’t waste it living someone else’s life. Don’t be trapped by dogma; living the result of other peoples thinking. Don’t let the noise of other’s opinions to drown out your own inner voice.” 

            This powerful and dynamic advice, delivered to the graduating class of Stanford University on June 14, 2005, by Steve Jobs, the brilliant American business magnate, entrepreneur, prolific inventor and co-founder and guiding light of Apple Computers and Pixar Animation, is priceless and worthy of very serious consideration by anyone searching to live his life to the fullest. Since delivery, it has deservedly become a gold standard, and has gained a life of its own. It has been referred to, and repeated by speakers all over the world.

         Too many of us spend our lives in wasteful pursuit of the achievements of others, in the mistaken belief that we are incapable to doing better. We end up living in constant regret; frustrated and disenchanted with the lives we lead, while being totally unaware of, or quite often ignoring the many opportunities that are available within our grasp. We prefer to spend our lives just trying to get through it, rather than trying to make the most of it. We seem to be somehow uncomfortable dealing with the fact that our life and time is limited, and prefer to instead, to just coast along on the safe ground we know, rather than take our chances on untested ground, and risk losing what we have. The end result of this ambivalence is that only a few of us, are willing to step out of the shackles that restrain us, and move into the wide world waiting for us to make use of the opportunities to live life to the fullest extent available. This is what I believe Caterina Rando, the very successful American author and life coach was alluding to when she wrote:

“The only thing standing between you and a life without any regrets is you.” 

Although our first introduction into the world was the result of events completely beyond our control, it was clear that once arrived, the rest of our existence should, and was meant to be, a manifestation of whom and what we are. From the time that we become aware of our identity and for as long as we are alive, we come under constant influences that try to affect your life and force us to cope.  We are subjected to a never-ending sequence of events of chance, fate and circumstances that constantly test our own initiative and resolve. It is this fundamental difference between what life appears to offer, and what we are prepared to accept, that will determine the quality and satisfaction of our living. Although we may have little control over many of the events that crossed our paths and left their marks on us and our lives, yet there were countless others that tested our strength and determination to choose the life we wanted to lead. Success for us will always lay more on choices we make rather than luck and chance. The highly acclaimed, prolific English author Sir Terrence Pratchett, very wisely indicated this in his successful publication, “A Hat Full of Sky”:

“There isn’t a way things should be. There is just what happens, and what we do.”

         The need for all human beings to seek fulfillment is as universal as life itself. From the moment of our birth there is an insatiable desire to satisfy ourselves in every way we can. Our fundamental instincts are driven to seek survival and satisfaction, and to do what it can to allow us to thrive. This desire to live rather than to exist does not occur by chance, but is precisely what makes us different than any other living creatures, plant or animal. Where every other being in the world spends its life in just gratifying its immediate needs, human beings are endowed with unique abilities, instincts and senses to seek more and to achieve more. Whereas the other living creatures are controlled by, and totally responsive to the demands of nature, the human mind is able to go beyond basic need to survive, and to seek more, learn more and do more. Every human is instinctively endowed with the hunger to grow, develop and improve beyond its present boundaries and to seek opportunities to help do so. This indeed is a privilege granted only to humans to choose their own lives and their own destiny.

         One of the major failings of human beings however is that although there are strong inborn priorities to seek the maximum opportunity, yet in fact, this appears to be a goal that is not fully reachable. Most people are content to do just enough to get by without achieving their maximum potential. They are happy to follow along while others lead, and are satisfied with being told what they should do. This is particularly relevant in today’s societies where the demands for keeping up are causing them to lose sight of their own needs and values. Life then becomes measured more by how they are able to fit in, rather than how they could stand out.

We lose sight of the fundamental truth that in each of us the  quality of our life must always be measured by how we are able to fulfill our dreams, rather than following someone else’s dream. There can be no difference in the joy and fulfillment experienced for work satisfactorily completed; whether that be an architect, completing a towering structure, a surgeon, completing a life saving procedure, or a teacher, at the end of a grueling or a day. Although the rewards are completely unrelated, they each provided the deep common personal respect and satisfaction that comes from living life to the fullest. The highly respected American author, poet and political cartoonist, Theodor Seuss Geisel (Dr. Seuss) summarized his approach to this attitude in the following manner:

“Be who you are, and say what you feel, because those who mind don’t matter, and those who matter, don’t mind.”

            Choosing to live life to your fullest extent requires commitment,    understanding of your abilities, and what you expect from life. But reaching this state never ever happens simply by doing what others do, but rather by knowing who you are and what is needed. There are many essential criteria that must be present to ensure continued growth and personal responsibility. Many of these are acquired by the individual, but many others are copied or learnt along the way. These include:

-Establishing a true identity and sense of reality that allows the individual to face the truth, remove the urge to avoid or make excuses, and to look at life as it really is, not how others paint it to be.

-Willingness to accept life as it actually is, rather that lose time and effort following the example of others. Buddha, many centuries ago stressed this when he advised: “The secret of being happy is accepting where you are in life, and making the most out of every day” This advice is as relevant today, as it was when he recorded it more than 3000 years ago.

-Courage to believe in yourself to live the life you desire. This attribute protects us from always being afraid to face adversity and find excuses to do so. But equally, it serves to protect us from being stuck in a comfortable zone and being afraid or unwilling to move forward.

-Trust Yourself and step out to take chances. This is often the key to open your life to new adventures. Don’t allow yourself, like so many do, to reach the end of your life with nothing to look back on except a long list of regrets and disappointments. Don’t allow yourself, like so many do, of falling into the ‘get-by’ category so exquisitely described by an Unknown Author:

“The saddest summary of life contains three descriptions;

Could Have! Might have! and Should have!

         Living life to the fullest cannot occur unless you are in peace with yourself, free of regrets or disappointments of not doing what should have been done, whether from fear or from apathy or not willing to risk shame or exposure. It means being honest with yourself and listening to your dreams and being guided by your inner voice, and not the noises around you. It means knowing who you are, your strengths and weaknesses and being content to work within them rather than comparing with others. It means above all, to recognize you are who you are, and instead of copying others, you can learn how to live to the full extent of your ability and needs.

         Pope Paul VI, the Roman Catholic pontiff who died in 1978 after occupying the see for more than 15 years, effectively summarized the true meaning of living a life of fullness when he advised:   

“Somebody should tell us right at the start of our lives that we are dying. Then we might live life to the limit, every minute, every day. Do it! I say. Whatever you want to do, do it now! There are only so many tomorrows.”

The wisdom of this quotation has reverberated around the world for the advice it offers. For although life itself is limited, and death, inevitable, we ourselves must live to the limit of our ability, and must do so in the present; and not be worried by the future.

<       >

-Kindly share with your friends.