FINDING TRUE COURAGE

    “Courage is what it takes to stand up and speak.

     Courage is also what it takes to sit down and listen.”

         Courage is generally defined as the quality of mind and spirit necessary to face difficulty, danger, pain or uncertainty, without being overcome with fear. But this definition is neither complete nor does it do justice to it. While it does indeed require the setting aside of uncertainty and fear by taking action, it also means that the action taken must be of benefit to oneself and to others. This is precisely what Sir Winston Churchill, the great British prime minister, who is remembered for leading the Allies to victory over the German Nazi armies in WWII, meant to express in the above quotation. While it does indeed take courage to stand up and speak, especially when everyone is waiting to respond, it requires an equal, though different courage, to withhold speech or action when the situation does not warrant any such action. He actually elaborated on his definition by noting:

“Courage is rightly esteemed the first of human qualities because it is the quality that guarantees all others.”

         Courage can be expressed in a variety of ways as a response to threatening situations at hand. These include the more easily recognized physical forms, in which action is carried at the risk of bodily or mental harm, including death. The firefighter who rushes into a burning home or the person who jumps into a raging river to save a drowning man are examples of actions of courage arising from an instinctive response deep within the psyche. But true courage is not limited only those actions which involve overcoming the fear of confrontation, but equally to challenging unacceptable ideas or situations that are likely to cause some inconvenience or harm to others. Any action taken must always be seen, not as an impulsive act, but as the consequence of a deep desire or judgment to act correctly in the face of fear or risk. In some ways, courage can be seen as the moral compass that determines all the subsequent activities. Aristotle, the ancient Greek Philosopher, very correctly described this action in the following terms:

“Courage is the first of human qualities; because it is the quality that guarantees all others. Next to honor, it is the greatest quality of the mind.”

         But finding true courage is a great deal more complicated than just being fearless or bold in response to a specific situation. It is certainly more than the conditioned or automatic responses which occur as a defensive action taken to avoid personal injury. These actions are instinctual and self-protective and no different from the desperate response of a fleeing threatened animal that turns to face its adversary when escape is not an option. True courage in anyone, must begin by first confronting oneself with the harsh reality of whom and what you are. Admitting to being afraid is not enough without confronting and eliciting the root cause. For it really is never the outward manifestation or admission of fear of a situation that that drives a wedge between the person and his action, but rather the underlying fear of confronting oneself. It is this inherent fear of self-confrontation that causes so much of the resistance and negative responses that eventually lead to acceptance of defeat and submission.  Martin Luther King, Jr. the charismatic leader of the successful American Civil Rights movement recognized this conflict when he noted:

“We must build dykes of courage to hold back the flood of fear.”

True courage should never be measured by the absence of fear alone, but by the act of doing what is considered to be right in spite of the fear. It is not, as is generally thought, an inborn gift that some people may possess while others do not, and certainly not an emotion or a state of mind. Courage is born of an honest desire to move forward in the face of fear and retaliation, even when that may appear to be beyond their limit, when the action is considered appropriate. Michael S. Josephson, the highly respected former Law Professor who gave up the practice of law to establish and lecture in his Institute of Ethics, explained this in a clear and uncompromising statement:

“Ordinary people, even weak people can do extraordinary things through temporary courage generated by a situation. But the person of character does not need a situation to generate his courage. It is part of his being and a standard approach to all his life’s challenges.”

It is not the actual act of the moment that determines true courage, but rather the reason for the action. In effect, it is feeling that comes from knowing the fear and its consequences, and yet still going forward anyway, because it was the right thing to do.

         John Rex MBA, a former CFO at Microsoft and presently a Leadership Speaker, published an article entitled “The True Meaning of Courage is not What You Think” in 2017. This has impressed me as one of the most accurate assessments of courage I have encountered and one which is worthy of study. His description of the courageous firefighters who chose to enter the crumbling towers following the 9/11 attack in New York is impressive:

“I looked into the firefighters’ eyes and witnessed their fear. I also saw their unflinching resolve to do their duty and save lives. I was impressed by how ordinary humans could show such extraordinary valor. It is not that they weren’t afraid—they were absolutely terrified; but they chose to charge in anyway.”

These young men, many of whom lost their lives in the courageous effort of saving the lives of countless innocent victims, have justifiably earned the respect and honor showered on them as genuine examples of true courage. Rex correctly summarized their attitude at the moment of action when he wrote, “the significance of fear paled in comparison to the importance of the mission to be accomplished.”

.

            Shannon L. Adler, a very successful and prolific American inspirational author once observed that:

“One of the greatest regrets in life is being what others want you to be, rather than being yourself.”

This to me is a very accurate assessment of the end result to so many people in society who have succumbed to the pressures to conform, by sacrificing their ‘can do’ attitude to the more convenient ‘what will this do to me’ attitude. When we do this, we in fact, undermine our ability to confront the underlying causes of those fears, and erect barriers between us and ourselves.  We are victims of our own doing and as such, unable or unwilling to proceed forward. Rather than being an impetus to action, it becomes a obstacle forcing us to seek the easy way out; by admitting defeat. We end up, like so many other people have become, dissolute and disappointed and lose the ability to stand up with courage; the one attribute that surpasses all the others. This was exactly what the very successful inventor and entrepreneur, Steve Jobs was alluding to when he addressed the students at Stanford University in 2005, giving this advice:

“And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and your intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.”  

            Contrary to popular belief, courage is never inherited and does not automatically pass down from generation to generation, like so many other factors. We however, are all born with the potential to be so, and its subsequent development depends to a very large extent on the influences and the examples to which we are exposed. How we choose to respond is a reflection of the learning and inspiration we acquire from the behavior of others in contact. It is clearly a great deal easier for a child to acquire this confidence, if it is exposed to people who live and act in this manner. People who choose to live with highly ethical and deeply held principles as the fundamental core of their character cannot help but pass on these standards to those around them. They do not have to say or show anything to anyone to justify their actions in anyway, nor their determination to succeed, their attitude will speak for them. Mary Anne Radmacher, the very successful American author, whose inspirational books are widely appreciated worldwide, accurately described true courage in this manner:

“Courage doesn’t always roar. Sometimes courage is the little voice at the end of the day that says: try again tomorrow.”

Finding the courage within yourself is never easy to do. It requires a determined and unflinching approach of self examination. As an Unknown Author very correctly advised:

“Look into the mirror of yourself and face what you are seeing with honesty; and then take steps to change what you see to what you want to see.”

Courage is not simply a single response but a state of being. Before one can be sure of oneself, there must first be a true fundamental understanding of oneself. Knowing who you are, your own weaknesses and your inadequacies and becoming comfortable with them is something that most people find difficult to do. Without this step, one is not able to confront the personal facades we have constructed to find excuses and blame others. Without removing these, it would be impossible to develop the integrity and honesty necessary to establish a moral compass needed. Without this clearly imprinted in the psyche, it will be impossible to find the courage to stand up to anything wrong by doing right. Without the sense of moral justice against wrong or unethical behavior firmly established, we can only be bystanders, offended by the behavior rather than finding courage to confront the feelings and take action.

Marcus Tullius Cicero, the great Roman author, statesman, scholar and philosopher whose life coincided with the fall of the great Roman Empire, described the true meaning of courage in these terms:

         “A man of courage is also a man full of faith.”

-I can think of nothing that describes true courage in a man more than the fact that it is a reflection of his full inner faith and confidence.

<        >

                                              -Kindly share with your family and friends