“The
saddest summary of life contains three descriptions,
‘Could have’, ‘Might have’, or ‘Should
have.”
This statement by an Unknown Author is a powerful commentary on
the quality of life we are likely to live when we make the wrong choices or
chose not to make the right ones. It has become over the years, a standard by
which the life we lead is measured.
From our very beginning
of life and continuing to the very end, we are constantly presented with
situations from which we must choose. Some of these choices are made after
careful thought and consideration, while many of them result from automatic or
impulsive responses, but they all are capable of having a lasting impact on our
lives and the lives of others who depend on us. Every single day of our lives
we have to face choices. We have to decide each morning whether we get up and
face the day, or to roll over and continue to sleep. We have to make a choice
what our day will be like, and what we should be doing. In fact, it would be
correct to suggest that every-thing a person consciously does for all of the
day is subject to some kind of choice.
Specific choices are operating
when we appreciate what we do or resent it, become excited and happy or dejected
and sad, pursue our goals or do nothing, associate with people who are helpful
or withdraw and withhold our attention. In fact, all the countless living
activities that together make up a day, can only have occurred as a result of
choices made by or for the person. Choices have been likened to the ‘tools’
contained in a person’s box of living. Without them, life cannot progress and
instead, our lives will be subjected to the winds and the storms of the
environment around us. But with them, they are useful guides that serve to
assist the person to live a lifetime of satisfaction and fulfillment.
By far the most important life choice that each one of us must make is how we choose
to live our life. This directly
implies choosing the basic core of beliefs that will shape our character and
define our purpose. These set the standards and the values that determine how
we live, what we believe, where we are heading and what we are looking for.
They influence not only how we conduct our day to day living, but our hopes and
dreams for the future and to some extent, even beyond. When these choices are
wrong, when they are dictated by self-interest, greed, selfishness, or a lust
for power, we quickly lose respect for life and replace it with
self-gratification and domination.
Unfortunately,
too many people ignore the choices that lead to personal growth and to
satisfaction, and instead spend their lives in the wasteful pursuit of other
people’s achievements and end up living in constant frustration, regret, and
dissatisfaction. Rather than choosing the path best suited for them, they
succumb to the demands of their society to follow their lead and end up losing
sight of their own choices. To be truly effective choices must always reflect
the needs of the individual and never tailored to suit the needs of
others. There is no difference in the joy and fulfillment experienced
for a task that is satisfactorily completed, whether it is by an architect
completing a towering structure, or a surgeon completing a life-saving
procedure, or the teacher at the end of a grueling day, or the shoemaker upon
completing a pair of shoes. Although they are all totally unrelated activities,
they are all choices consciously made individually to provide equal
gratification and self-respect.
It
is this exercise of our fundamental choices that makes the difference in our
lives. This is because when these choices are freely executed we are provided
with the confidence to make mistakes but not give up, to succeed and move on,
and to seek opportunities and find them. Unfortunately, this does not happen as
often as it should, not because the basic opportunities for the exercise of
choice are not available, but because of our innate tendency to hold on to
things and never let go, for fear of losing or being left behind. We end up
holding on to failed ideas, even after we realize that letting them go is never
the end, but the beginning of new life.
Dr.
Elizabeth Kubler-Ross, the renowned Swiss psychiatrist placed this
relationship in the right context when she asserted:
“I believe that we are solely responsible for our choices, and we have to accept the consequences of every deed, word, and thought throughout our lifetime.”
-Indeed we are all the products of the choices we
make in life, for good or bad. As the sages of the Eastern culture will
unhesitatingly attest, this is our Karma!
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