DAILY SLICES OF LIFE

The Joys of Contentment

“Everything has its wonders, even darkness and silence. And I learn, whatever state I may be in, therein to be content.”        

         These very perceptive and deeply felt words were expressed by the incomparable Helen Keller, in her best-selling autobiography “The Story of my Life.” Her life, without question, has been an inspiration to untold numbers of people all over the world, for the truly enormous courage she exhibited in overcoming the double obstacles of being deaf and blind from age 19 months, and for her ensuing life, dedicated to selfless humanitarian service to her community and to the world.

          Much of her remarkable life story has been used over and over to demonstrate both the resilience of the human spirit, and equally, the overwhelming power of contentment in achieving a quality life. She lost both her vision and her hearing after contracting a severe viral infection at age 19 months, but with the help of a particularly gifted teacher, Anne Sullivan, she learned to communicate and to speak very competently, by the use of touch and sign language. So much so that, despite her profound disabilities, she successfully completed her education, including graduating from Harvard University, and then spent the rest of her life actively advocating for the people with disabilities, worldwide. She insisted that, to no small degree, her success was directly related to the level of contentment she demonstrated by accepting and coping with her debilitating disabilities all along the way.

          For as long as man has inhabited this earth, he has sought to find joy and contentment in his living. But in a world, such as our world, overflowing with uncertainty, stress and unpredictability, where survival itself is constantly being threatened, the task has never been easy. Mankind has continually searched to find joy and contentment in his life to relieve the endless currents of worries, pain and suffering he was experiencing all around him; often with little success. Far too many people are continuing to spend their lives determined to acquire as much as they can, in the misguided belief that the more they have, the happier they become. They labor under the impression that life is a race designed for the winners only, and that winning is all that matters. While there is nothing inherently wrong with trying to fulfill one’s hopes and dreams to the best possible degree (something called ambition), it becomes very dangerous, when this thinking is allowed to become the ultimate foundation for attaining satisfaction and fulfillment in life.

          The feeling of contentment is a state of satisfaction, that can only be arrived at by being comfortable with one’s mental and physical status. It is, without doubt, a vitally essential component to maintaining a good quality of living, ensuring healthy interpersonal relationships, and securing stability of the community. In fact, most behavioral psychologists agree that this basic desire to achieve such a state is in fact a very natural phenomenon, deeply intertwined with our instinctive need to be happy. They acknowledge further, that the intention was not necessarily be a state of perfection, but rather a state of fulfillment and satisfaction; one that results from accepting and being at ease with one’s situation in that moment.

          Historically, the earlier societies, because of the threatening prevailing circumstances at the time, were concerned strictly with survival and with self-protection. There was no consideration given to anything other than finding food and staying safe. The current societies however, with all the subsequent advancements that have occurred, have evolved around the thinking that happiness comes from trying to achieve the best we can at all cost; and then trying to do so, over and over again. They see the concept of a good life as an endless race of getting more, or competing more, and keeping more. And they do so quite often, oblivious of the need for satisfying the emotional feelings of contentment of the participants, that are so very important to living fully. It is no surprise therefore, that the history of mankind reflects so much more of the disagreements and of conflicts, and far less of his contentment and happiness.

          Yet, there is no doubt that the pursuit of individual and group contentment has been among the leading intentions of mankind throughout the ages, irrespective of the degree of sophistication of the particular society. Over the years, wars have been fought, and countries dominated for the explicit purpose of securing safety and contentment. And philosophers and good leaders from every culture, ancient and modern, with very few exceptions, have unanimously argued that life must only be lived guided by the principles of joy and contentment, and never by greed and avarice.

          The ancient Greek philosopher, Socrates, in the 4^th century BC was convincing when he observed:

“He who is not contented with what he has, will not be contented with what he would like to have.”

And the advice of the foremost ancient Chinese philosopher, Lao Tzu, was no less formidable when, in the 5^th century BC, he declared:

“Be content with what you have: rejoice in the way things are. When you realize there is nothing lacking, the whole world belongs to you.”

          And with equal zeal, religious leaders of all the major religions were no less adamant in proclaiming the virtues of a life of contentment:

“Christians, guided by Philippians 4:12-13, in the Holy Bible indicated:

“The secret to contentment is the strength that can only come from God.”

-And in Judaism, Contentment is considered to be one of the four

 “Pillars of Wellbeing.”

-The Buddha, with total confidence, declared:                                                              

“Health is the most precious gain, and

Contentment is the greatest wealth.”

-The Prophet Mohammed, firmly advised:

“Adopt contentment, for it is such a wealth that does not deplete.”

          Contentment, in its simplest view, is the finding of genuine joy in what is already available to us. In so many ways, the feeling of true contentment, when fully established, allows us to break the cycle of distrust and suspicion, and replace it with a comfortable sense of trust, gratitude and happiness. It encourages the feeling of satisfaction with the milieu around us, in our situation, our possessions, our relationships and our status. It also provides happiness in the moment, without the need to find justification in acquiring more, or searching for more, or receiving more. Above all, when fully in place, the instinctual need for acquiring more, or for comparing and competing aggressively will recede, as do the need for self-protection or self-aggrandizement. This is what Oscar Wilde, the very successful 19^th century Irish-born playwright and poet clearly meant when he noted:

“True contentment is not having everything,                             

 but in being satisfied with everything you have.”

         But contrary to what most of us assume, contentment is not an entitlement because of who we are, or what we do, nor is there a law that states that we must be content. Instead of spending time looking at what we lack or should have, we should be focusing on what we have and how we can make a difference. Without doubt, society actually fosters discontentment with all the negative feeling that accompany it, by insisting that we should go after what we do not have. In fact, contentment can only apply in the moment, and can only take hold by intention. It is not passed on from generation to generation, but it can be learned by example and by reason. It will never survive in the face of selfishness or suspicion, but will flourish in a setting where attitude, gratitude, understanding and sharing stand out. And again, contentment, to truly take hold, must be coupled with love and with generosity. And equally, it does mean that even as we are content with the status quo, we are precluded from trying to get better.

          Indeed, it is this distorted sense of entitlement which most often holds us back from truly enjoying all the joyful blessings of contentment. The world we all share is unpredictable, and there is no guarantee that things will always go as planned. But if we choose to be contented with what it is, rather than what it ought to be, then we will be able to truly embrace the life we have, and appreciate the beauty of living. For it is only when we are truly contented with our status and our situation, can we be free to pursue risks without fear, and celebrate our joy with the people around us, without the need to hold back.  In essence, a person who is contented with himself will have nothing more to prove, and nothing to lose. Perhaps this is what, Dale Carnegie, the most successful American author and inspirational speaker, intended to convey in one of his many outstanding lectures, when he declared:

 “It isn’t what you have, or who you are, or where you are, or what you are doing, that makes you happy. It is what you think about it.” 

 -This is the fundamental nucleus of contentment. It should never be measured by how large a vessel we can acquire, but rather how successful we can be in filling the actual vessel in hand.

 

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