DAILY SLICES OF LIFE

The True Value of a Person

“No one is useless in this world who lightens the burdens of another.”        

         This quotation first came to my attention as a 10 years old school boy, when I saw it on the wall of the local Association for the Blind office and sought the help of my teacher who confirmed the author’s name and its source. The comment was made by the great English author and social critic, Charles Dickens, in “Dr. Marigold,” one of the many, very successful novels he completed during his lifetime. Quite unlike any other author I have encountered, he holds a very special place in me, as the one who set me off on my lifelong interest and search for quotations of the world. The quality of Dickens literary output has made him undoubtedly the greatest novelist of the Victorian era, and probably of the 20^th century. His stories were essentially based on his own life-history of poverty, abandonment, loneliness, and recurring physical and emotional hardships which had colored most of his early life. He is considered by many experts to be a literary genius, and his work continues to have universal acceptance with each new generation of students to this day.

          The quotation has never lost its meaning for me, nor will I ever forget the message that it projects to all of mankind. It speaks loudly and clearly to the undeniable fact that the true value of any person will never be seen in the money he amasses, nor in the monuments that were erected in his name, nor for that matter, the reputation he had earned, but rather in his attitude toward other people, especially those who were in need. No man’s true value should ever be gauged by the power he wielded, nor by the influence he commanded, nor the image he projected, for these are all impersonal attributes that will survive only as long as he is alive, and then be buried with him and both ultimately end in oblivion. This was precisely what the 19^th century English author Albert Pine intended to convey when he observed

“What we do for ourselves, will die with us. But what we do for others and for the world, is immortal.” 

          For as long as mankind has existed on this earth, men have used a hierarchy of some sort to measure the value of themselves and of others. In the very early days, when survival was paramount, a man’s worth was based more on his survival skills than any other ability. The later societies preferred the ‘warrior type’ among them, choosing to measure a man’s worth by the enemies he killed and the conquests he achieved. During the golden era of the Roman and Greek philosophers, the measure revolved around the size of following he gathered around him. Then with the passing years, as religion gradually evolved, more emphasis was placed on the holiness and devotion of a person rather than the conquests he made. With the rise of Christianity and Islam, a man’s worth revolved around the adherence to beliefs and to the faithfulness in following them. And as the early Western societies gradually evolved, the emphasis was on the strength of family values and personal standards, with far less emphasis on performance. In recent years however, this has reversed itself, so that in current times, notoriety, money and power appear to have become the prevailing standards of a man’s worth, with only passing interest directed to family and individual values.

         In these modern times, it is not unusual to assess the value of a person by the position he occupies, the titles he holds, the records he achieved, the power he wields, or the riches he amassed. We tend to equate his ‘worth’ with the social status he holds, or the power and the influence he commands, or the reputation he projects. We insist on using a value-driven system to rank the levels of importance of our people, so that our preferences are reflected by such images as status, power, money or celebrity, without any regard to the basic personal attributes of the person, or his contribution to his society. We elect a president with a past reputation of lies, failures, shady deals, and questionable family relationships, and then shower him with our admiration. And we admire a young woman whose claim to fame was publicly indulging in sexual activity, and we grant her access to our inner feelings by following her daily blog by the millions. We shower our respect and our wealth at the feet of one of a religious leader, even as he chooses to squander them in search of elicit sexual encounters. These are but a few of the endless examples of our gross negligence and failure in our assessment of the value of others.

         We live in a culture that unashamedly prefers to focus on superficial means, choosing fame and fortune as the driving force to achieve recognition; an approach that is a complete antithesis to the true value of a person. It is not surprising therefore that the general public develops a feeling of intimidation, and a sense of inferiority when they compare themselves to the ‘rich and famous’ in their midst. Unfortunately, whenever we try to attach a value on people based strictly on social or economic status, or assign a higher value to the more popular, or more talented, or the richer ones without due consideration, we are not only deluding ourselves, but failing our society. Yet despite knowing this, we continue to live in a society that prefers to drive us to focus on these artificial standards that serve only to make us feel that our own values have less and less worth, and we end up spending our lives impotently looking up at others, rather looking forward at ourselves. Albert Einstein, speaking to his students at Princeton University, was absolutely clear in expressing his choice when he advised:

“Strive not to be a success, but rather to be of value”

          In truth, the value of any man is never a reflection of his ability, his wealth, or his possessions, or most certainly, his popularity. These attributes are the manifestations of factors that are often the result of chance, luck, opportunity or external influences. This attitude is not surprising since most people are conditioned to rely on the prevailing community standards which usually bear little or no relationship to the individual, when it comes to trying to measure one’s self-worth. In fact, the true value is always a deeply embedded and uniquely personal reaction, ultimately based far less on trying to please anyone or anything, but rather as an attempt to satisfy the need for making full and complete use of one’s life. Mark Twain (Samuel Langhorne Clemens), the great 19^th century American author, humorist and entrepreneur, who himself was no stranger to ensuring his own self-worth, explained this need in the following manner:

“A man cannot be comfortable without his own approval.”

          A true measure of one’s value can never be based simply on external activities, however deserving they may be. It must reflect a genuine awareness of one’s inherent worth as a person. This must involve knowing who you really are, and not what others are doing. Equally, it is about understanding one’s intrinsic value, rather than comparing oneself with others. It is about listening to the inner voice for guidance, rather than blindly following the path of others. And it is about deliberately rejecting the instinctive competitive impulse that insists that the only way to feel good is to do more and take more, and instead listening to one’s heart, and knowing that good feelings will come from sharing rather than keeping. This I believe is what Flora Edwards, an American author about whom little is known, meant to convey when she observed:

“In helping others, we shall help ourselves. For whatever good we give out, will complete the circle and come back to us.”

         Sigmund Freud, the great Austrian neurologist and psychologist who is considered to be the father of the school of psychoanalysis, and whose work in human behavior continues to garnish respect by leading experts, many years after his death, was very clear and precise in lamenting the attitudes of people in respect of achieving their true value:

“It is impossible to escape the impression that people commonly used false standards of measurement, that they seek power, success, and wealth for themselves, and admire them in others, -and that they underestimate what is of true value in life.”

 

-Indeed, each one of us, as the price of our birth, will have a choice on how we conduct the rest of our lives. We can choose to spend our lives striving for success for all the wrong reasons; or we can recognize the true value of the gift of our lives, and then strive for success guided by the right reasons.

 

 

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