SLICE OF LIFE - Choosing Happiness

“Some people cause happiness wherever they go; others do so whenever they go.”

         This wonderfully perceptive comment by Oscar Wilde, the brilliant, flamboyant and very highly acclaimed Irish playwright, speaks volumes to the powerful effect of happiness on other peoples’ responses. In this simple statement of fact he clearly differentiated between the positive and dynamic effect by some in creating true happiness, and the completely opposite effect by others.

                  The true meaning of happiness is a question that often comes to the minds of everyone looking for answers in living. People spend endless hours searching in every direction, but only few ever succeed in finding genuinely true happiness. This occurs because of our innate tendency to look outside of ourselves for our needs, or to follow others by trying to be like them or trying not to offend them. This only leads to more frustration, disillusion, and disappointment, but very rarely to happiness. It is abundantly clear to all who care to look that happiness is in no way related to the acquisition of success, power or riches as so many believe, but everything to do with personal contentment, love and gratitude.

Happiness is feeling secure with yourself and not be anxious about your actions. It is about being satisfied with enough and not be hungry for all, and being grateful for who you are, rather than envious of others. These are the pillars on which all happiness stands. No outside source can ever provide happiness to you; it must come from inside of you. In truth, happiness is about loving who you are, and knowing where you are in life, and what you hope to be; -and never ever, about what you think you are entitled to be or ought to be!

Happiness can only occur by exercise of choice, it will never arise as a result of the influence of others. Epicurus, one of ancient Rome’s most influential philosophers stressed that “true happiness is the end and aim of living.” He rightly described it as not being the hedonistic behavior that results from the demands of the senses to satisfy personal pleasure without regard to need, but rather, comes from the wisdom to choose correctly.

Bonnie Ware, the Australian palliative nurse whose publication entitled “The Top 5 Regrets of the Dying” is a classic in the field of caring for the terminally ill, placed this in the correct perspective when she wrote:

“Many did not realize until the end, that happiness is a choice. They had stayed stuck in their old patterns and habits. Fear of change had them pretending to others and to themselves, that they were content.”

The profound truth in this statement rings loudly and clearly for all to see and hear. for we are our worst enemy by continuing to live our lives dominated by pretending to be who we are not, rather than choosing who we really are.

For happiness to truly take hold, we must first free our hearts from the poison of hate, anger and suspicion, and free our minds from worry, shame and regret, and trust ourselves to do the right thing; while being grateful for everything received. Happiness is never measured by another’s yardstick, but only by the individual’s own, and can only be stored in the memory banks of that individual alone. These memories are never lost to him, but remain embedded to be recalled at will, especially in time of stress and uncertainty. For this reason, no one should wait for the right time to find happiness. It is always ready to be found. As an Unknown Author once wisely advised:

“Don’t wait until your life is almost over to realize how great it’s been! Sometimes a short walk down memory lane is all it takes to appreciate where you are today. Happiness is found when you stop comparing yourself with others.”

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SLICE OF LIFE - Know Yourself

“Never explain yourself to anyone. Because the person who likes you does not need one, and the person who dislikes you won’t believe you.”

   This quotation by an unknown author relates specifically to the need for you to know yourself, to know who you are, and to avoid the temptation of measuring yourself with other people’s yardsticks.

The statement is a statement of fact, which does not need any explanation. You do not need to prove anything to any one but yourself. Those people who know and like you, will already have sought out the needed information about you, and will have formed a favorable opinion; and a level of trust. On the other hand, for those who, for whatever reason, have an unfavorable opinion, no amount of explanation will be necessarily persuasive; they will always find cause to find fault.

The ancient Greek philosopher Socrates in his teachings often declared:

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“To know thyself is the beginning of wisdom.”

This statement speaks loudly and accurately to the fundamental need to know yourself in order to achieve happiness and peace of mind. Without a true knowledge of yourself, it will impossible to develop a sense of identity, to understand the qualities that define you, and to successfully interact with others. With self-knowledge, there will develop a deeper understanding and a genuine discovery of your inner needs and an honest and meaningful relationship with yourself. These are the hallmarks of a confident personality. Leon Brown, an African-American baseball player and an accomplished author, placed this in the right context when he advised:

“First know yourself; then you will begin to understand why things are as they are, and why life is as it is.”

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SLICE OF LIFE - Gratitude

DAILY SLICE OF LIFE

1. Gratitude

“Gratitude is not only the greatest of virtues,

                    but the mother of all the others.”

These words were recorded by one of the Ancient Roman Empire’s greatest orators, philosophers and political leaders, Marcus Tullius Cicero, who lived in the 1^st century BC. They speak eloquently to the true value of Giving Thanks to others and to yourself; and to its immeasurable importance in maintaining good human behavior.

True gratitude, the genuine expression of appreciation and thanks, can mean many things to many people. It is much more than just saying “thank you” to someone for something or some act done for you. It is rather, a deep-seated manifestation of a person’s innermost expression, and constitutes the very foundation of his personality and his life. With true gratitude deeply embedded within his psyche, a person has no difficulty in seeing life from a positive field of vision and to savor all its goodness without any preconceived expectation. Perhaps this is best expressed by the following quotation by an author whose identity is Unknown:

“It is not happiness that brings gratitude.

It is gratitude that brings happiness.”

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ETERNITY AND IMMORTALITY -A Personal_View

“The only thing that exists is ‘Now’. The moments ago do not exist anymore, and the moments to come do not exist as yet. Therefore: Now is Eternity.”

            The concept of Eternity is by far the most difficult and the most confusing thing that the human mind is required to understand. As the above observation by an unknown author quite correctly indicated, the mind is constructed to deal solely with the here and now and as a result, this very moment-in-time is seen as everything. This anomaly occurs because the only way the mind is capable of perceiving time, irrespective of past, present or future, is as it exists in this moment, and therefore is incapable of identifying or demonstrating any physical difference between the beginning, or the present, or the past, or the future. Conceptually, these are all merely illusions of time designed to explain reasons in living, but not necessarily to explain the reason for its existence.

         Throughout the ages, men have sought to find answers to this dilemma, without ever arriving at a definitive conclusion. The only demonstrable reality is that as humans we are fully aware that being mortal we possess finite bodies with definite life spans, each with a beginning and an end; and as such any thought of eternity does not sit easy with us or with our life experiences. Yet everything around us tells us that eternity is no less a reality, even against a background of multiple explanatory attempts offered by countless scholars which continue to be conflicting, confusing and quite convoluted. The reality is that however much anyone tries to do so, it is just not possible to see, feel or experience eternity, and that the only reasonable option available to any man is to trust his instincts and be guided by good judgment.

         Eternity by definition and common acceptance is Timeless Time; without any beginning or any end. It is the kind of event in which we are able to identify with it, and able to feel and use it to portray our lives from the past to the present and into the future, yet we are nevertheless never able to actually demonstrate anything definitively other than this present moment. It has engaged the minds of countless great thinkers and philosophers throughout the ages in every civilization from the ancient Chinese masters, the old Arab scholars, the Greek and Roman philosophers and all the great religions both ancient and modern; all of whom have accepted, without being able to demonstrate in one way or another, its tangible existence. The overwhelming consensus by all is that it is therefore a timeless realm, without duration or succession, and with no ‘before’ or ‘after.’

Although considered to be beyond the comprehension of the human mind which can only perceive in the present, the concept of eternity is fully accepted by most people as existing before and after life on this earth. Many models have been developed to try to explain its image, some have described it as a complete ring of life with no beginning and no end; just an endless cycle of creation and recreation. Others have likened it to standing in a room that is fully mirrored on all sides. One can look in any direction, backward, forward or side way, and see endless images, each one exactly similar to the other ones, as far back as the mind will travel, and beyond. In similar manner, over the many centuries of human existence, different cultures have used a variety of symbols to try to demonstrate and explain their concept of eternity. The most popular of these include the Endless Knot in the ancient Chinese and Buddhist cultures, the Roman Mathematical figure of eight, Egyptian Ouroboros (snake swallowing its tail), the Greek Key and the Armenian Wheel of Eternity. They all reflect the universally accepted principle that eternity does not have a beginning or an end.

         Immortality, on the other hand, differs substantially from eternity. Eternity by definition relates to the endlessness of time and is therefore unchanging, but immortality deals, not with the timelessness of life, but rather with the essence of life. It refers to eternal life, to being able to live forever. This is an idea that has fascinated human interest since the beginning of time, but no one has so far ever been able to demonstrate its existence. Historically, we recognize that all forms of life, however long they survive, will eventually die, whether from trauma, disease or from the natural ageing process. Similarly, even inanimate objects, whatever their original formation, will ultimately succumb to decay and break down to their basic elements. Realistically therefore, it is impossible for the human mind, constrained by the boundaries of human knowledge and its limited experiences of death and dying, to consider that anything is, nor can it ever be, immortal!

Hence any consideration of the concept of immortality must first take into account the brain’s limitation in dealing with it. But in the same way that the brain is able to accept light without ever collecting it,  and hear sound without seeing it, so too it should be able to accept the concept of immortality without ever being able to appreciate any concrete evidence. In truth, believing in immortality does not deny the death of the physical being, but, in keeping with the teaching of the great majority of the world’s religions, it will require blind faith to believe in the existence of a spiritual life that had been present before physical birth and continues beyond physical death. This in fact, is a very basic view and irrespective of the varying belief structures among people all over the world, there is universal agreement that “life” in some form had existed before, and continues after; even as the exact nature of which remains unknown, and subject to great conjecture.

In the past centuries, the ancient Chinese Philosophers guided by the teachings of Lao Zhu believed that mortal life was merely a stage in the preparation of the spirit to seek harmony with the universe where it continues life to infinity. The ancient Greek and Roman scholars led by Aristotle and Plato believed that all humans possessed immortal souls that came from and returned to the realm of their Gods. The Eastern Philosophers embraced the idea of reincarnation enunciated by Buddha, where the immortal soul re-emerges in various forms until it arrives at the final perfect state (Nirvana). In recent times however, most of the world’s major religions including Christianity, Judaism, Islam, Hinduism, Buddhism and Taoism all promise an Afterlife that included a variety of explanations and combinations of non-human influences  such as God, Spirit, Soul, Resurrection, Reincarnation, Heaven and Hell to try to explain the events that take place and to justify immortality. They differed in the way that they presented the basic manifestations of immortality, but they all agree on the ultimate conclusion and outcome.

In truth, no one ever truly knows for certain that immortality is a reality, and in spite of the constant reassurances and confident affirmations by  the world’s thinkers and leaders and the substantial circumstantial evidence that abounds in man’s history, there has always existed a very large minority of the population that fully reject this notion. This is quite understandable, since in the absence of verifiable evidence to the contrary, it is difficult to prove its absolute validity. The Atheists and the others who deny life of any kind after death, believe that the living body is made up of atoms in the form of cells which come together to give life, and control all the mental activity and actions that result from a variety of predictable chemical and physical reactions. They see no reason to introduce any other external circumstance or source to explain life and death.  They insist that following the laws of nature, when the person dies, everything dies and returns to its atomic state. They adamantly insist that any suggestion of any kind of life existing before and after this earthly life in whatever form, are merely false stories concocted by man to avoid having to accept the fact of the finality and irreversibility of death.

 But this position, although scientifically sound, will only hold if the agnostic is correct that life and living is to be considered merely as manifestations of complex chemical reactions. It ignores completely the philosophical nature of human existence, the past history, the emotional expressions, thought processes and so many other activities that cannot be fully explained by chemical reactions. It is precisely this duality that has led the countless numbers of philosophers and serious thinkers over the centuries of earth’s existence, to search for reasons and offer explanations. And it is precisely this reasoning that has led them to conclude that human life deserves greater respect than merely finite chemistry.

Albert Camus, one of France’s most accomplished philosophers, a Nobel laureate, and a distinguished humanist, made the following observation:

“I would rather live my life as if there is a God and die to find out there isn’t, than live my life as if there isn’t, and die to find out there is.”

This statement has always impressed me as one which clearly makes absolute sense in this milieu of uncertainty. To hold on to a belief that denies immortality in any form, and instead offers no hope of anything except for decay and disintegration beyond death, only encourages a reckless life without hope, and discourages any preparation for the future, whatever that turns out to be. I would rather choose a life that offers a hope of immortality and live it to my fullest satisfaction, while doing everything possible to ensure maximum benefit in the future, in the hope that if it comes to pass, I shall reap the rewards. Of course, if in fact it turned out that I was mistaken, I would have lost little, for in my living I would have secured the kind of life that I had considered worthy of living.

         Bob Dylan, recognized as one of America’s greatest pioneers on American folk culture, and a genuine social philosopher in his own right, offered the following profound comment:

“I’ve always thought that there is a superior power, that this is not the real world, and that there is another world to come.”

 In its profound simplicity, this statement speaks volumes in support of the existence of an afterlife and of immortality. It does not make any sense to equate the human mind, with all its inherent complexities, abilities and propensities, to an accident of nature, or to a series of chemical interactions destined to play out on the stage of life and then disintegrate forever. Life is indeed far more complex than this simple model suggests, and the fact that the answers are beyond our limited comprehension does not in any way negate the statement that life continues beyond in another way.

         The great Greek philosopher Plato more than 2500 years ago, declared:

“The soul of man is immortal and imperishable.”

He viewed the human individual as essentially a spiritual being made up of a mortal body and a soul that was immortal, essentially perfect and an eternal creation of a Supreme Being. Humans, he argued were created with spiritual and moral capacities which are not fulfilled by dying but continue on as the soul which is invulnerable and immortal. Professor William James, distinguished professor of Psychology at Harvard University and a leading American pragmatist, in his famous 1898 lecture entitled Human Immortality, elaborated further by insisting that during life the soul is a function of the mind of the person, and that after death continues into an immortal, supernatural life. He stressed this quite unequivocally when he stated:

“But such dependence on the brain for this natural life will in no wise make immortal life impossible; -it might be quite compatible with a supernatural life behind the veil hereafter.”

From all of this, it seems quite clear that although the concepts of Eternity and Immortality appear to be dealing with different levels in the existence of time; the former, being without a beginning, and the latter, without an end, the fundamental understanding is well beyond human capabilities. It is therefore left entirely for each individual to make full use of his insights and his faith to arrive at his own conclusions and then live by them. This indeed is the fundamental premise of Faith, a sense of confidence of a perceived outcome without absolute evidence.

For myself, I have no difficulty in accepting the fact that the eternity in time, and the immortality of spirit was created by a Supreme Being. This to me seems to be far more appropriate than assuming, as so many are doing, than life is no more than a finite chemical accident of nature. My own personal Religious Beliefs and Near Death Experience, together with the accounts of the countless numbers of others with similar experiences, serve only to underline the validity of the argument in favor of a supernatural existence. As I have recorded previously, I firmly believe that:

“Life is an exquisite and precious expression of a greater plan by a Supreme Being in which the time spent on earth is but a short segment of a journey that began in eternity and will continue into eternity.”

Like Albert Camus, and the countless numbers of good people who have done so throughout the ages, I am comfortable in choosing a life dedicated to continued hope of immortality, and rejecting a mortal life that leads nowhere.

-And like Camus, I will continue to live my life in the full expectation of immortality promised to me by the Son of God, and in so doing, live a life of fulfillment and satisfaction. Knowing fully, that in the event that this were not so, I would have suffered no regrets!

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LIVE EACH DAY AS THE LAST DAY

“Live everyday as if it were your last; because some day you’re gonna be right.”

         These exquisitely prescient words of wisdom were spoken by Muhammad 

Ali, the American professional boxer, activist and philanthropist who is universally regarded among the most celebrated and significant sports figures of the 20^th 

century. But this advice is not essentially unique to him alone, for it has been repeated, in one form or another, on countless occasions before and after him.

 Marcus Aurelius, the ancient Roman stoic philosopher and Emperor noted:

           “Live not one's life as though one had a thousand years.

            But live each day as the last."

While the Holy Bible in James 14:4 elaborated even further:

“Whereas you know not what will happen tomorrow. For what is your life? It is even a vapor that appears for a little time and then vanishes away.”

Undeniably, the striking impact of these messages and the intentions contained 
in the statements cannot ever be understated, nor can they be ignored.

         Quite recently, I had the distinct pleasure to entertain a longstanding 
friend and a person for whom I have the highest regard and respect for his
 genuine sincerity and faith in God and in man, Roman Catholic Archbishop 
Robert Rivas of the diocese of Castries, West Indies. During our wide-ranging discussions, he made the following very profoundly true statement:

“The only difference between living and dying is a single breath.”

This statement immediately struck me as a powerful reminder of the singular 

need to unequivocally accept the words of Muhammad Ali, and those of the 
others, and equally, it confirms the reason for each person to fashion a life
 that truly reflects the fact that one day it will end, and after this, nothing
 else can help.

         In 2005, Steve Jobs, one of the greatest entrepreneurial visionaries of our times, the founder and CEO of Apple Computers and Pixar Animation Studios, delivered a commencement address to the graduating class of Stanford University. The advice he offered in this very short presentation was so profound that it will be listened to over and over for many years to come by countless succeeding graduating classes and equally, countless numbers of other people in all walks of life. I have no doubt also, that many will continue to derive great benefit his words of wisdom. At the time he delivered the address, he was aware of his own diagnosis of Pancreatic Cancer, a universally fatal disease, and that his own life span was seriously compromised. In a surprisingly far ranging address he made the following admission:

 “When I was 17, I read a quote that went something like this: -‘If you live each day as if it was your last, someday you'll most certainly be right.'- It made an impression on me, and since then, for the past 33 years, I have looked in the mirror every morning and asked myself: 'If today were the last day of my life, would I want to do what I am doing today? –And whenever the answer has been ‘NO’ for too many days in a row, I know I need to change something.” 

       This advice is unquestionably one of the soundest that can ever be given to anyone truly interested in living a full and complete life. One which chooses to reward the individual for effort and commitment for trying to cope with his overflowing dreams, hopes and ambitions, that of necessity, must include making plans for, and facing, eventual mortality. The fact that at the time of delivery of his address, Jobs was already facing his own imminent death, will surely speak volumes to anyone truly interested in living the true life. He concluded by making a statement that will apply to every person who truly wished to live a full and satisfying life:

“Never let a day pass that you will have cause to say:
 -I will do better tomorrow.”

Unfortunately, we live in a culture that denies the reality of death, and one where any discussion of death is taboo and one which no one is encouraged to think or talk about. Society as a whole gives it no important consideration except to be ignored until the time comes. People in general, are determined to live their lives to the fullest extent for as long as they can, and are not concerned with dying until it arrives. The late James Dean, the young, very talented American actor who created a sensation as a character actor for the few years before his untimely death in 1953 at the age of 24 years, viewed life very much in this light. His views are reflected in his celebrated quotation:

“Dream as if you’ll live forever.

Live as if you’ll die tomorrow.”

To him, life was a challenge handed to him to do as he pleased, to chase his dreams as far as he wanted, and to relish his successes for as long as he can. Such people accepted the fact that their life was limited without fear or sadness, but rather with unconditional hope and celebration. It was this fundamental attitude which gave them the urgency and purpose to enjoy the best of their lives, to set no limits to their dreams, to squeeze every drop of life as they can, and to live as much as possible, with the unequivocal conviction that whatever happened after, was beyond their control and therefore, of no concern to them!

         They think only of what can be achieved today and do not waste their time predicting the future or worrying about missing out of any of the intangible promises waiting for them. They know that no one has any control of what happens in the future, and to worry was merely wasting useful time and effort. To them, the present offers the best opportunity to find fulfillment, to satisfy their dreams and to find happiness. They know from past experience that they could not truly depend on the future for it may not be what they hoped for, or if it will even be present when the time comes. This concept was very beautifully described by the well respected American author and poet, Muriel Strode when she wrote:

“I do not ask for faith in the hereafter, but let me believe in today,

 and no hereafter can present that I shall not be well prepared.”

         But contrary to the view of many detractors who tend to place a literal interpretation to Jobs advice and see it as a ‘reckless philosophy’ that encouraged people to behave as if there is no tomorrow and grab as much as they can without regard to need or impact, in fact, he meant the very opposite. Living each day as if it were the last offers support to those in need of confidence to override their fears and uncertainties of life, to live a life of their own choosing and to challenge the prevailing attitudes. The true intention is not just to do as much as can be done, but rather, since no one knows when his last day will be, then the aim is to spend each day to the fullest doing the things that actually matter, and not be concerned about what others do or think. As it turned out, while living by this principle, Jobs developed several amazing companies during his relatively short life span and he did so by doing what he enjoyed doing, quite often against other people’s objections, in the spirit of the quotation.

            For my own self, I accept this advice personally as an invitation to do those things that I truly hoped and dreamed of doing, and as I prepare for the inevitable, I will try to live each day to the fullest I can as if it were my last day. 

-Indeed, a good life is not about encouraging people to work harder and acquire more, but rather to encourage them to seek out what they love to do the most, and to give their best each day, as if this day was going to be the last.

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POWER OF ACTION

 “Action is the foundational key to all success.”

         These words by the great Spanish artist Pablo Picasso whose works of art are considered to be the most important works of the 20^th century, standout out as a statement that is blatantly appropriate and unchallenged. He believed firmly and correctly, that the only way to achieve your dreams, however difficult it may be, was on a plan built solidly on a foundation of action, and supported with courage and commitment to carry through to completion.

         Behavioral experts are fond of categorizing people as being made up essentially of 3 different types. There are those who make things happen, there are others who are content to watch things as they happen, and then there are those are not concerned about what is happening. This would explain why, except for the first group, there are so many people with beautiful ideas, dreams and passions which never ever see the light of day. Quite often this happens not because of any genuine problems which prevent their completion, but rather from such basic emotional obstacles as fear of failure, fear of venturing into unknown territory, and at times, even the fundamental fear of getting started. These fears serve to induce resistance and force the individual to be locked in a cycle of inaction, not so much because of being unable to complete the task, but much more, because of a lingering fear of inadequacy or embarrassment that their work will not be acceptable to others.

For as long as man has survived on this planet, developing new thoughts and ideas have always been the seeds of all great human accomplishments. But equally, a great many of these seeds remained just thoughts and ideas and never grew to fruition because there was no one capable of exercising the will to initiate, and the action to complete them. Nothing ever happens without a start taking place, but once the start has begun, magical results can accrue but only when intent is present. It is this combination of the will to start and the determination to continue that becomes the force for action that will invariably yield great success. But all of this activity will only flow when it is nurtured by an individual who has belief in himself, trust in his ability and confidence to keep moving forward, irrespective of resistance. These are the foundational keys which when acting together, will serve to successfully bring dreams to life. Steve Jobs one of the greatest visionaries in modern times, whose work over a very short span of active life has changed the course and direction of human living forever, was forthright in his advice to graduating students when he said:

“Don’t let the noise of others’ opinions drown your inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition.”

Far too often, beautiful dreams appear, some even accompanied with faith and desire, only to falter because they lacked the necessary conviction and action to carry through to completion. Tragically this applies to a significant number of people who, even with the best of intentions, are never able to reach their full potential and have to be content to live out their lives in mediocrity, while envying the joyful successes of their neighbors. Most of the time the main reasons that separate success from failure are not due to lack of ability, but rather to either the lack of a realistic dream worthy of following, or alternatively, having the dream but never able to take the action necessary to bring it to completion. This has resulted in the development of ever increasing numbers people who spend their lives just dreaming and hoping, but never finding the courage or the power to move beyond this stage.

Other people on the other hand, choose to spend their whole lives in “safe waters” doing things they hate, but are comfortable doing, or living in simple, nonthreatening lifestyles, but always yearning for more, and looking at better things, but being afraid to grasp them. These people are driven to lead this type of life, not so much because of lack of ability or even lack of hoping, but rather because of their deeply embedded inability to find the way to turn these hopes into dreams and goals, and their lack of conviction to take the necessary action needed to reach their fulfillment. Indeed this is precisely what Eleanor Roosevelt the wife of President Franklin D. Roosevelt, and in her own right, a respected intellectual, diplomat and activist, was alluding to, when she observed:

      “The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of

        their dreams”

Action is always positive and when this is not happening, the only reason for this can be traced directly to the individual in control. This should not come as any surprise since people by nature generally prefer to choose the easiest actions, or the paths of least resistance to satisfy their needs. The less effort needed, and the less utilization of resources, both emotional and physical, to achieve the desired goal, the better and more preferable it will be. This “efficiency” of activity has its origins in the early centuries of man’s survival in the life-threatening and inhospitable environments that existed at the time. This forced him to choose action to stay safe, and his sole aim was finding food and staying alive. The dream might well have been present but there was no time to consider or attempt anything else, especially if the action needed varied from the established safe patterns. Clearly no action can ever hope to succeed without it beginning with the heart and mind of the dreamer. As Thomas Jefferson, one of America’s greatest statesmen, Founding Father and 3^rd President of the Union, so very wisely advised:

“Do you want to know who you are? Don’t ask. Act!

Action will delineate and define you.”

           It required many more centuries and many attempts at smaller actions with increasing successes and encouragements, before man began to expand his hopes and his dreams and then find the courage to convert them to long term goals. This approach has continued to evolve over time with more and more results occurring. But the principle has not changed. It takes time for a person to acquire the skills needed. He is never able to harness the power needed at first try, but he must first begin by understanding the power of taking small actions successfully, and be able to repeat the experience more frequently, before he is able to consider long term dreams, set major goals and find the power to arrive at completion. Leonardo da Vinci, the great Italian sculptor and artist, explained this evolution in these terms:

“I have been impressed with the urgency of doing.

Just knowing is not enough, we must apply.

Being willing is not enough, we must do.”

Action when successfully carried out is not only rewarding to the individual, but it serves to induce physiological and psychological changes which will embolden him and encourage further attempts. There is no doubt that each successful episode will provide the strength, the courage and the energy to try more and to succeed more. Rewards are the backbone of all successful individuals and the impetus for continuing on. But individual successes do not in anyway imply that these people are differently endowed with special abilities than the others. But rather, they are better motivated, more willing to accept failure and try again, over and over, and will continue to do so until the results are achieved. They are not content to sit back and let things happen, but recognize that the dream will happen only after the right action is undertaken. But all of this does not come easy; there is a price to pay. It requires time, consistent focus, firm dedication, undeniable commitment and deep confidence in self and in ability, to find the courage and the willpower to continue on, sometimes against daunting odds.

         People who do not choose to take the necessary action to fulfill their dreams do so, not out of ignorance or inability, but rather from reluctance, born from a multitude of various fears and insecurities. These take the form of a vast range of underlying etiologies that include personality characteristics, parental influences and past experiences. But over-riding all these causes is the missing taste of success. Without this experience acting as an impetus there can be little hope to find the energy to act. Paradoxically the only true antidote to overcome inaction is action itself. Fear of inaction for whatever reason, induces lower self-esteem, increases doubt in ability, and increases fear of failure. But with action comes success and experience which will increase the self-esteem and reduce the fear and ignorance and ultimately lead to growth, maturity and self-confidence. These are all the critical foundational keys that will open the doors to action. Without them being opened, action will not take place and life remains dormant. Joseph DiMaggio, one of America’s greatest baseball players and a person who himself has successfully overcome a countless number of challenges in his lifetime, spoke from personal experience when he noted:

“If you keep thinking about what you want to do, or what you hope will happen, you don’t do it and it won’t happen.”

-Picasso's message indeed is the true message of every successful individual who has tasted the fruit of success. Not only must there be a dream and a hope, but there must be a need and a desire to achieve, and the willingness to act in whatever necessary way to find the power to completion.

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LIVING A MEANINGFUL LIFE

“A Meaningful Life is not about being rich, or being popular, or being educated or being perfect.  It is about being real, being humble, being strong, and being able to share yourself, and touch the lives of others.”

         These beautiful words recorded by an Unknown Author, have become accepted as a gold standard to describe the real meaning of living a meaningful life. It has been universally accepted and has appeared in the literature and the language of various countries worldwide. 

Whether we admit to it or not, we all spend our lives trying to find a meaning for our living. Many are content to accept this to mean the acquisition of the basic instinctive and materialistic rewards such as power, wealth, popularity or pleasure, and then spend their lives in a mirage of their own making. But a true meaningful life is not about being rich, or being smart, or being talented, or any of the other superlatives. Even at best, these are all trappings that can be acquired and lost at will. In many ways they are the result of the society’s influences which are focused on constant positivity, looking at the bright side and accepting only success. But a true meaningful life is not about being rich or being smart or being talented or any of the other superlatives. These are all trappings that can be acquired and lost at will. Our life becomes meaningful only when we each are truly able to find and give to ourselves an individual meaning, a reason and a purpose to live.

Life is not always the success or the most positive nor the happiest we had hoped for, and there are times when we become truly disappointed and dejected. But all of these moments are as important as those when we reign supreme and enjoy the applause from all for succeeding. For to consider a truly meaningful life requires that we recognize these variables and embrace them in the same way we accept the changes in the weather without question. Dr, Susan David, a well recognized South African born psychologist and an authority on the subject, has gone further and argued that:

 “Discomfort is the price of admission to a meaningful life”

She suggested that instead of insisting on positive results and trying to push the negative ones away, we must embrace them, understand why they occurred, and learn to cope with them. This, she insists, is the only way to give fullness to meaning and completeness to our living.

Our life becomes meaningful only when we each are truly able to find and give to ourselves an individual meaning, a reason and a purpose to live. It is only then can we look forward to a full, happy, rewarding and contented life. Victor Frankl, the outstanding Austrian neurologist and psychiatrist, a survivor of many years of Nazi Gestapo atrocities during WWII, whose book “Man’s Search for Meaning”, is considered among the 10 most influential books in the US, explained this in these terms:

“The meaning for living comes to us only when we are willing to accept the full responsibility for living.”

Frankl’s life was indeed a confirmation of this reality. Even though he was exposed to and suffered from the worst horrors of the Nazi concentration camps, including torture and terror that occurred daily, he was able to find a purpose and a meaning to his struggle, and that gave him the power to push through. His life clearly confirmed in no uncertain manner, as so many others have demonstrated before and after him, the veracity of that much-repeated quotation by the German philosopher, Friedrich Nietzche, which states:

“He who has a ‘why’ to live for, can bear almost any ‘how’.”

            Understanding the true meaning of one’s life requires first, a fundamental knowledge of what really matters in the life. Not only must there be sound understanding of one’s strengths, commitments and confidences, but there must also be present an honest and clear appreciation of the underlying failings and weaknesses existing, and a realistic willingness to accept all of these. It requires knowing who you are, what you want, and how much you are willing to expend before the desired outcome can be achieved.  Mahatma Gandhi, the great Indian leader and foremost champion of the non-violent movement, explained this in a simple but very appropriate manner when he declared:

“Man often becomes what he believes himself to be; if I keep on saying to myself that I cannot do a certain thing, it is possible that I may end by really becoming incapable of doing it. On the contrary, if I have the belief that I can do it, I shall surely acquire the capacity to do it, even if I may not have it at the beginning.”

A truly meaningful life is not one that is based on matching or surpassing the most talented or the most respected person around. Rather it is one that is grounded in a sense of purpose that goes well beyond the events of the day, and the failures or the successes of the moment. It involves a deliberate process of examining the reason for existence and exactly what one’s specific role should be in the context of the rest of humanity. It means accepting, neither denying nor ignoring, one’s existing weaknesses, while maximizing the positives, and choosing to live with intention. Above all, it means understanding oneself and making full use of this knowledge to achieve a successful and fulfilling life. This is in total rejection of the generally held view that only those people who have achieved success and happiness in their lives are by and large, the ones who are able to live a meaningful life. This is to my mind, misleading and inappropriate, and very far from the truth.

While happiness and meaningfulness can at times overlap, there is indeed a vast and distinct difference between them. They each function under different sets of rules and they each travel along separate roads. In no way can the happiness experienced by a popular entertainer whose claim to fame is flouting her body in public, be compared to the joy and satisfaction of the humble housewife volunteering to serve food at the neighborhood soup kitchen. Nor can the famous tennis player bragging about her latest conquest be compared with the devoted mother taking care of her family at home. Nor can the politician making public speeches for significant reward, be compared with the steel worker as he goes to work through good and bad weather to earn enough to support his family.  Nor is there any comparison between the pseudo-joy of the CEO of a profitable company awarding himself a gift of the latest Lamborghini, and the happiness of the carpenter who volunteers his off day to assist in a project by Habitat for Humanity to help a disabled veteran.

These indeed are all examples of Meaningful Happiness, a state typically characterized as a sense of contentment, gratification and pleasure for present behavior, with continuous bearing on the past and into the future. It is much more closely related to ‘giving’ and has little concern for ‘keeping’. While in complete contrast, there is Meaningless Happiness, much more concerned with taking and keeping, rather than with giving and sharing. The latter is fragile and volatile and is solely related to the purpose of achieving an immediate goal. It is also transient and unstable and can be readily and completely destroyed by any disappointment or failure. For without a true meaning to living, the satisfaction from this happiness is relatively shallow and more often self-serving.

        

Developing a meaningful life leads to something far more satisfying and rewarding than just pleasure and contentment. In my experience, the most contented people I have ever encountered are those who found something much more satisfying than the pleasure of success or recognition from others. They were people who took the time to search for and understand the meaning of their lives and then pursuing it. They found that inner sense of joy and gratitude that can only come from a commitment to set aside principle for person, and personal satisfaction for unselfish participation. It is a life dominated by purpose, and is unconcerned about rewards in the present, past or future. By giving and sharing and above all by a humble sense of participating in the lives of others, they succeed in finding and living their life of meaning.

        

These people are by no means uncommon. In fact they live among us and their stories are constantly unfolding around us. It’s the man who spends his nights searching the city dumpsters to find discarded food to feed the hungry, or the volunteer who gives up the security of his home to help others ravaged by natural disaster, or the teacher who devotes time and resources to help a struggling student, or the business owner who shares some of his profits so that his employees may enjoy a better life. These and the millions and millions of similar examples are precisely what is required by, and expected of, living a meaningful life.

History is replete with examples of people who were able to achieve the finest pinnacles of genuine meaningful living. Their names will not be found emblazoned on the great towers of the world, nor are they found in the annals of conquests or in the economic pages or business magazines. The people who inhabit these sites, can only boast of passing success that inevitably dies with the passage of time and memory. But those who have successfully arrived on a purposeful and meaningful road will always enjoy the pleasure and satisfaction of doing the right things and their deeds will be remembered in the hearts and minds of all who were touched by them.

 They live and walk among us as they have done in the past, fulfilling their purposes and living a truly meaningful life. Examples of these abound; Like Dr. Albert Schweitzer, the French theologian and physician, who gave up a promising and privileged life to serve the people of a small village in Africa. St. Francis of Assisi, the Franciscan monk who gave up a life of luxury and power to serve the poor and disenfranchised. St. Teresa of Kolkata, the European-born Roman Catholic nun who devoted her life to living and working among the poorest and neediest members of India and other countries worldwide. These are but a small, but outstanding example of people who have indeed found and lived a meaningful life. But just as important are the less notable, but equally satisfied people who go about their daily routine, doing what they can to put meaning in their life, by word, by example or by deed. Their names will never be known to anyone except to themselves and to those who know them.

They demonstrate that achieving such a life is neither impossible nor unattainable. It requires however, a determined effort to take time to pause from the fast pace and demands of society and to reflect on their own needs and desires and to truly understand themselves. It is only when this happens can we truly attain the wisdom and the understanding to begin to live a life of meaning. Henry David Thoreau, the great American essayist, poet and philosopher was perhaps most appropriate when he advised:

“What you get by achieving your goals, is not as important

as what you become by achieving your goals.”

-Indeed, life must never ever be measured solely by the external deeds carried out, or the rewards collected, however successful these may be. These are meaningless in terms of true satisfaction of the spirit. For life to be meaningful, it must include in addition, both a deep satisfaction of spirit, and a true contentment of the heart as well.    ....Nothing else really matters!

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