LIVING A MEANINGFUL LIFE

“A Meaningful Life is not about being rich, or being popular, or being educated or being perfect.  It is about being real, being humble, being strong, and being able to share yourself, and touch the lives of others.”

         These beautiful words recorded by an Unknown Author, have become accepted as a gold standard to describe the real meaning of living a meaningful life. It has been universally accepted and has appeared in the literature and the language of various countries worldwide. 

Whether we admit to it or not, we all spend our lives trying to find a meaning for our living. Many are content to accept this to mean the acquisition of the basic instinctive and materialistic rewards such as power, wealth, popularity or pleasure, and then spend their lives in a mirage of their own making. But a true meaningful life is not about being rich, or being smart, or being talented, or any of the other superlatives. Even at best, these are all trappings that can be acquired and lost at will. In many ways they are the result of the society’s influences which are focused on constant positivity, looking at the bright side and accepting only success. But a true meaningful life is not about being rich or being smart or being talented or any of the other superlatives. These are all trappings that can be acquired and lost at will. Our life becomes meaningful only when we each are truly able to find and give to ourselves an individual meaning, a reason and a purpose to live.

Life is not always the success or the most positive nor the happiest we had hoped for, and there are times when we become truly disappointed and dejected. But all of these moments are as important as those when we reign supreme and enjoy the applause from all for succeeding. For to consider a truly meaningful life requires that we recognize these variables and embrace them in the same way we accept the changes in the weather without question. Dr, Susan David, a well recognized South African born psychologist and an authority on the subject, has gone further and argued that:

 “Discomfort is the price of admission to a meaningful life”

She suggested that instead of insisting on positive results and trying to push the negative ones away, we must embrace them, understand why they occurred, and learn to cope with them. This, she insists, is the only way to give fullness to meaning and completeness to our living.

Our life becomes meaningful only when we each are truly able to find and give to ourselves an individual meaning, a reason and a purpose to live. It is only then can we look forward to a full, happy, rewarding and contented life. Victor Frankl, the outstanding Austrian neurologist and psychiatrist, a survivor of many years of Nazi Gestapo atrocities during WWII, whose book “Man’s Search for Meaning”, is considered among the 10 most influential books in the US, explained this in these terms:

“The meaning for living comes to us only when we are willing to accept the full responsibility for living.”

Frankl’s life was indeed a confirmation of this reality. Even though he was exposed to and suffered from the worst horrors of the Nazi concentration camps, including torture and terror that occurred daily, he was able to find a purpose and a meaning to his struggle, and that gave him the power to push through. His life clearly confirmed in no uncertain manner, as so many others have demonstrated before and after him, the veracity of that much-repeated quotation by the German philosopher, Friedrich Nietzche, which states:

“He who has a ‘why’ to live for, can bear almost any ‘how’.”

            Understanding the true meaning of one’s life requires first, a fundamental knowledge of what really matters in the life. Not only must there be sound understanding of one’s strengths, commitments and confidences, but there must also be present an honest and clear appreciation of the underlying failings and weaknesses existing, and a realistic willingness to accept all of these. It requires knowing who you are, what you want, and how much you are willing to expend before the desired outcome can be achieved.  Mahatma Gandhi, the great Indian leader and foremost champion of the non-violent movement, explained this in a simple but very appropriate manner when he declared:

“Man often becomes what he believes himself to be; if I keep on saying to myself that I cannot do a certain thing, it is possible that I may end by really becoming incapable of doing it. On the contrary, if I have the belief that I can do it, I shall surely acquire the capacity to do it, even if I may not have it at the beginning.”

A truly meaningful life is not one that is based on matching or surpassing the most talented or the most respected person around. Rather it is one that is grounded in a sense of purpose that goes well beyond the events of the day, and the failures or the successes of the moment. It involves a deliberate process of examining the reason for existence and exactly what one’s specific role should be in the context of the rest of humanity. It means accepting, neither denying nor ignoring, one’s existing weaknesses, while maximizing the positives, and choosing to live with intention. Above all, it means understanding oneself and making full use of this knowledge to achieve a successful and fulfilling life. This is in total rejection of the generally held view that only those people who have achieved success and happiness in their lives are by and large, the ones who are able to live a meaningful life. This is to my mind, misleading and inappropriate, and very far from the truth.

While happiness and meaningfulness can at times overlap, there is indeed a vast and distinct difference between them. They each function under different sets of rules and they each travel along separate roads. In no way can the happiness experienced by a popular entertainer whose claim to fame is flouting her body in public, be compared to the joy and satisfaction of the humble housewife volunteering to serve food at the neighborhood soup kitchen. Nor can the famous tennis player bragging about her latest conquest be compared with the devoted mother taking care of her family at home. Nor can the politician making public speeches for significant reward, be compared with the steel worker as he goes to work through good and bad weather to earn enough to support his family.  Nor is there any comparison between the pseudo-joy of the CEO of a profitable company awarding himself a gift of the latest Lamborghini, and the happiness of the carpenter who volunteers his off day to assist in a project by Habitat for Humanity to help a disabled veteran.

These indeed are all examples of Meaningful Happiness, a state typically characterized as a sense of contentment, gratification and pleasure for present behavior, with continuous bearing on the past and into the future. It is much more closely related to ‘giving’ and has little concern for ‘keeping’. While in complete contrast, there is Meaningless Happiness, much more concerned with taking and keeping, rather than with giving and sharing. The latter is fragile and volatile and is solely related to the purpose of achieving an immediate goal. It is also transient and unstable and can be readily and completely destroyed by any disappointment or failure. For without a true meaning to living, the satisfaction from this happiness is relatively shallow and more often self-serving.

        

Developing a meaningful life leads to something far more satisfying and rewarding than just pleasure and contentment. In my experience, the most contented people I have ever encountered are those who found something much more satisfying than the pleasure of success or recognition from others. They were people who took the time to search for and understand the meaning of their lives and then pursuing it. They found that inner sense of joy and gratitude that can only come from a commitment to set aside principle for person, and personal satisfaction for unselfish participation. It is a life dominated by purpose, and is unconcerned about rewards in the present, past or future. By giving and sharing and above all by a humble sense of participating in the lives of others, they succeed in finding and living their life of meaning.

        

These people are by no means uncommon. In fact they live among us and their stories are constantly unfolding around us. It’s the man who spends his nights searching the city dumpsters to find discarded food to feed the hungry, or the volunteer who gives up the security of his home to help others ravaged by natural disaster, or the teacher who devotes time and resources to help a struggling student, or the business owner who shares some of his profits so that his employees may enjoy a better life. These and the millions and millions of similar examples are precisely what is required by, and expected of, living a meaningful life.

History is replete with examples of people who were able to achieve the finest pinnacles of genuine meaningful living. Their names will not be found emblazoned on the great towers of the world, nor are they found in the annals of conquests or in the economic pages or business magazines. The people who inhabit these sites, can only boast of passing success that inevitably dies with the passage of time and memory. But those who have successfully arrived on a purposeful and meaningful road will always enjoy the pleasure and satisfaction of doing the right things and their deeds will be remembered in the hearts and minds of all who were touched by them.

 They live and walk among us as they have done in the past, fulfilling their purposes and living a truly meaningful life. Examples of these abound; Like Dr. Albert Schweitzer, the French theologian and physician, who gave up a promising and privileged life to serve the people of a small village in Africa. St. Francis of Assisi, the Franciscan monk who gave up a life of luxury and power to serve the poor and disenfranchised. St. Teresa of Kolkata, the European-born Roman Catholic nun who devoted her life to living and working among the poorest and neediest members of India and other countries worldwide. These are but a small, but outstanding example of people who have indeed found and lived a meaningful life. But just as important are the less notable, but equally satisfied people who go about their daily routine, doing what they can to put meaning in their life, by word, by example or by deed. Their names will never be known to anyone except to themselves and to those who know them.

They demonstrate that achieving such a life is neither impossible nor unattainable. It requires however, a determined effort to take time to pause from the fast pace and demands of society and to reflect on their own needs and desires and to truly understand themselves. It is only when this happens can we truly attain the wisdom and the understanding to begin to live a life of meaning. Henry David Thoreau, the great American essayist, poet and philosopher was perhaps most appropriate when he advised:

“What you get by achieving your goals, is not as important

as what you become by achieving your goals.”

-Indeed, life must never ever be measured solely by the external deeds carried out, or the rewards collected, however successful these may be. These are meaningless in terms of true satisfaction of the spirit. For life to be meaningful, it must include in addition, both a deep satisfaction of spirit, and a true contentment of the heart as well.    ....Nothing else really matters!

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