“The two most important days in your life are the
day you were born and the day you found out the reason why.”
This powerful and timeless aphorism, often ascribed to the
writings of the great American author Mark
Twain (Samuel Langhorne Clemens), stands out as a shining beacon on the
road for those trying to understand life’s meaning. It has also been the source
of endless arguments between proponents, who believe in it, implicitly, and
opponents who question its validity.
Indeed no other questions can ever prove to be as vital and
as decisive in the lives of every individual on earth as these two questions.
The answer to the first is clearly beyond our understanding and our control, especially
since the fact of our existence was predetermined by factors outside our
control. But the ‘Why’ for our
existence is left entirely up to each individual to determine and to implement
as he pleases. The process for finding the true answer to this question has
never been easy for anyone to undertake, and even on the occasions when it is
found, it produces burdens on each one which never end until death occurs. Because,
since the answers are not permanent and will vary with prevailing conditions, we
must be continually aware of the constant variations in reason and purpose as
they occur as our lives progress and our needs change. Professor Thomas Szasz, the well respected Hungarian-American
psychiatrist and psychotherapist, placed this in the right context in personal
terms when he observed:
“People often say this or that person has not found
himself. But the ‘self’ is not something one finds. It is something one
creates.”
This second most important day, the day when we get
to know why we are born, how we acquire knowledge about our true life, and when
we begin to find the answers to the reasons for our living, is recognized by
many as the day of our second birth, or
as is described in Christianity as being born
again. This stage of life is significant for every one of us,
for it implies the beginning of our exposure to the knowledge of our life, and of being granted the opportunity to find
and appreciate the reasons and answers to life’s paradoxes. Every person is
offered this opportunity to grow and to develop self-worth, but this will not take
place by copying others or modeling our lives with their own. Doing this is
tantamount to spending our lives just satisfying our egos, and trying to match them
against the accomplishments of others. This is a formula that is doomed for
certain failure, and one that is certain to produce a life of wasted
intentions. Carl Jung, the great
Swiss psychiatrist and a founder of the school of psychoanalysis, very clearly explained
the options available when he wrote:
“Your vision will become clear only when you can
look into your own heart. Who looks outside, dreams; who looks inside, awakes.”
For as long as man has existed on earth, he has sought to
find answers to the meaning of life. The different religions have gone to great
lengths to each express their own views in relation to their beliefs. The
ancient Chinese Taoists believed the
answer to life was to achieve inner harmony. The Hindus insist that the real purpose is to find release from the
cycles of rebirth and to escape this life in order to achieve eternal life, Dharma. The Buddhists looked on life’s
purpose as a way of achieving enlightenment and being freed from life’s
suffering. Islam directed its
followers that the answer lies in submitting to the will of Allah, while Judaism and Christianity both encouraged their followers to obey God’s Commandments. In all these approaches, there is a common factor, an in-born
predisposition, ‘an instinct’, which
if used correctly will lead to success, and if ignored, will lead to pain and
suffering. And there are still yet many people who knowingly choose to refrain from talking or
even thinking about meaning in their lives because it makes them uncomfortable. They are content to hide behind two
arguments: either they don’t know what it means to them, or that it is beyond their
reach or comprehension.
But in fact, each individual is endowed with an instinct
that, when used appropriately, will drive him to take action and to respond to
factors affecting his life. The more he understands them and he works with
them, the more he will be able to find the answers for those things that matter
and the directions leading to self-awareness and self-fulfillment. But along
the way, he will face major obstacles that, if left unchallenged, will obstruct
and prevent progress. These are deeply embedded in the individual’s emotional
psyche as “Anxieties of Existence.” They include Feelings of Guilt; leading to self-hatred and fear of failure, Feelings of Inadequacy; giving rise to a
fear of non-fulfillment and incompetence and Feelings of Identity; producing a fear of hopelessness and
meaninglessness. These feelings remain lodged in the minds of the victims and
induce the individual to resist or refrain from accepting change, preventing
him from learning the truth about himself, and doing whatever necessary to maintain
the status quo at all cost, however inadequate it may be. To these people, life
has lost all meaning beyond continuing to do the same things over and over,
until such time that external circumstances impose changes.
We are living in a society dominated by the two major ideals
of selfishness and self-gratification, where the individual is constantly
discouraged from finding meaning on his own, and instead, he is encouraged to
follow the example of the successful ones, and to copy what they do. But this
approach has only succeeded to produce a large number of followers who are
content to keep up with them. But for the others who still prefer to discern
truth and meaning in their lives, the process will require first a willingness
to examine themselves, as well as the demands of the world they live in. Clearly any
attempt to try to understand the self in isolation from the environment will
yield no better result than just looking into a mirror. Divorcing one from the
other will be futile, for in understanding oneself adequately, one must be able
to see and appreciate the changes and their effects on the individual that are taking place in the world around them. Without full and personal involvement
there can be no understanding, as this advice from an Unknown Author correctly suggests:
“Stop looking for the answers from strangers, they
don’t know you enough. All the answers you are looking for are within you
already. Only you can tell what makes your heart feel at home”
. Joseph
Campbell, the very well regarded
American author, teacher and mythologist, in his writings observed:
“Life has no meaning. Each one of us has meaning
and we bring it to life. It is a waste to be asking the question when you
already know the answer.”
There
is great truth in this statement. Human beings by nature, long for meaning in
their lives but many find this need too difficult to achieve and are quickly
discouraged, choosing to follow others instead. He correctly confirmed that
life itself has no meaning whatsoever without the direct involvement of the
individual, which then together bring significance and purpose to it. Unfortunately,
people in order to conform to society’s needs are encouraged to lose sight of
this fundamental meaning of life and instead find meaning and purpose in the pursuit of all
the good things available to them that will provide contentment and
satisfaction. This however serves only to leave a deep void inside and an
emptiness which is not easily fulfilled without searching. St. Augustine of Hippo, the great Christian theologian who lived in
the 4th century AD, very wisely drew attention to this dichotomy
when he wrote:
“Men go abroad to wonder at the heights of
mountains, at the huge waves of the sea, at the vast compass of the oceans, at
the circular motion of the stars, and pass themselves without wondering.”
The
people who truly believe their lives have meaning and purpose enjoy much higher
life-satisfaction and far better control of their life direction. They are
confident, with much improved emotional health, increased self-worth and clear
ideas of what they are living for, who they are, and what they are doing.
Having a good grasp of the meaning and purpose in one’s life will induce a
better sense of control, and encourage good relationships built on confidence
and knowledge. In addition, because they spend less them worrying what others
think of them, they are able to devote more time to planning and building their
future. In being able to feel this way and not being restrained by what others
are doing or thinking, they feel less afraid to take chances or exercise
options in their life and more able to start new projects.
The
great majority of the people who have achieved success in every field of
endeavor known to man have done so precisely because they were able, very early
in their lives, to find their own meaning and purpose and then build on it. But these people who have successfully
achieved the comfort and security of finding meaning also, as an integral part
of the process, tend to be more engaged and interested in the environment and
much more aware of sharing themselves with others. The great baseball player
and African-American trailblazer, Jackie
Robinson, whose life had itself been dominated by his grasp of meaning and
purpose, was very correct when he declared”
“A life is not important except in
the impact it has on other lives”
In
this respect, finding and living your life’s purpose can be the most
satisfying, joyous and rewarding exercise anyone can undertake. In so doing,
the pleasure comes not only from the internal satisfaction of fulfilling your dreams and your desires,
but equally by taking time to help and benefit others in need. This indeed is
the true formula for a life fully lived, with a legacy that will live on and a desire of helping to change the world for the better. Mahatma Gandhi, one of the greatest political leaders of all time,
and a philosopher in his own right, placed this purpose of finding meaning in
life in an absolute personal context when he observed:
“The best
way to find yourself, is to lose yourself in the service of others.”
-No truer word has ever been said, nor
greater advice given by anyone, than to spend your life learning who and what
you are, and in sharing the knowledge in serving the well-being of yourself and others.
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