THE MIRACLE OF LIFE

“There are only two ways to live your life.

One is as though nothing is a miracle.

The other is as though everything is a miracle.

This comment by the renowned physicist, Nobel laureate and unquestionably one of the greatest thinkers of our time, Albert Einstein, is as profound and as relevant as anyone can imagine. In this short and brief statement, he effectively explained the fundamental options we all have to living life. Despite his rigid, objective training and his scientific views as a physicist and mathematician, he admitted he was acutely conscious of the miracle that was life and was determined to live his life guided by these principles. He viewed that everything about life was a miracle, and that everything associated with its expression was equally miraculous. 

The world itself, with its complex associations of planets and other bodies within the solar system functioning in such glorious harmony is no less a miracle. Einstein explored this further in his discussions on the meaning of life in an essay of the same name contained in his famous publication entitled “The World As I See It.” In the essay he drew attention to our failing in not recognizing this and therefore not understanding the real reason for our existence. He noted: 

“A human being is part of a whole, called by us the "Universe;" -a part limited in time and space. He experiences himself, his thoughts and feelings, as something separated from the rest; a kind of optical delusion of his consciousness. This delusion is a kind of prison for us, restricting us to our personal desires and to affection for a few persons nearest us.”

His conclusion was indeed correct. Although we are all integral parts of the whole universe, yet most of us continue to insist on living a life separate from it, locked in our own world, either denying its existence, or fooling ourselves into believing otherwise

In reality there are only two ways of looking at life. To those of us who doubt the existence of miracles, then miracles do not exist, and life itself is a delusion which functions like any mechanical engine than runs until it stops and is then discarded. But to those who believe that life itself is the miracle, then everything done, every breath taken, every thought made, every word spoken, and every single moment of every day becomes an extension of the miracle. To these people, this indeed, is the real wonder of life handed to us by a Supreme Being to make full use for all the time allotted before they move on.

Some people spend their whole lives secure in their own prison, unwilling or unable to truly appreciate all the beautiful wonders that exist within and around them. Wonders that we callously take for granted, without stopping for a fleeting moment to appreciate them and to thank God for granting us the opportunity to own or share them. It does not take much to see the richness of miracles in our every day lives. All that is needed is an open mind and faith in the power of the Almighty from whence all of them spring.

Life itself is the greatest miracle of all. Although to the scientist, a human body is just a composite made up of a complex mixture of water and organic material that can be reproduced in a laboratory, yet it is somehow able to walk and talk and think and to reproduce and do all those actions that we call living and sharing. No matter how we try, it is well beyond human intelligence to explain adequately how this organic composite can achieve these actions without admitting that it is the result of some kind of miraculous act of a Greater Being.

How many of us for that matter, have bothered to stop to consider the wonders of this universe that we all share, and to savor all the beauty that is associated with it? Have you ever paused to appreciate the majesty and consistency of the sun, light, seasons and the weather, and to see the beauty of the trees, flowers, the birds and all the animals that inhabit the earth living in beautiful harmony? How does one begin to explain these, and all the countless other wonders that are all around us, without believing in the miracle of life!

      The term ‘miracle’ is often defined as a phenomenon that cannot be explained on scientific grounds. This to my mind is too restrictive and does not take into account the experiences of so many people, nor the miracles that are around and in every thing we do. I prefer, instead to favor an explanation offered by the Vietnamese Buddhist Monk, author, and philosopher Thick Nhat Hanh, who is presently living in exile in France, when he said:

“People usually consider walking on water or in thin air a miracle. But I think the real miracle is not in walking either on water or in thin air, but to walk on earth. Every day we are engaged in miracles which we don't even recognize: a blue sky, white clouds, green leaves, the black, curious eyes of a child, our own two eyes. All these are miracles.”

 Or perhaps, we can simply accept the explanation by the successful American free-lance author, Robert Brault, who advised:

“You can always hope for a miracle in your life, or you can realize that your life is the miracle.”

  
-The final choice is left entirely up to each one of us to decide for ourselves!

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THE CHILD IS FATHER OF THE MAN

            When William Wordsworth the great English poet-laureate and leading English romantic poet of the 19^th century wrote his famous poem, “The Rainbow,” he included in it the expression:

“The child is father of the man”

Since then, that observation has become a very popular and an often repeated statement in the English language, as well as in a large number of foreign languages and cultures.

         Although at first glance the statement appears to be paradoxical, a closer look reveals that he was, in fact, trying to convey a profound message worthy of serious consideration. He was trying to remind us that the adult was the product of all that had happened to him during his childhood. That he was the end result, or the sum total, of all the positive and negative traits he acquired, and the values, habits and behaviors he adopted, as he developed over the course of his childhood years. And equally important, it also reminded us the ultimate nature of the man’s personality and its direction, for good or not, can be traced to the exposures of childhood.

         In a wider sense, it can be viewed as a rhetorical reflection on the very nature of life itself. In a way, Life can be visualized as a continuous stream which begins at birth and flows relentlessly on its journey to eternity. As it does, it is molded by the events that affect it along the way, becoming turbulent when it encounters boulders and rocks, and smooth and placid when it flows over sandy ground. Whether it ends up as a gentle free-flowing stream or a relentless turbulent river is determined by the experiences encountered during its early life and the lessons learnt from them. In the same way, our choice of a life of turmoil and conflict or one of peace, respect and caring is determined to a large extent by our experiences and our learning during those formative years.

         Indeed it does not require a psychologist to demonstrate that children at play will exhibit characteristics which remain with them permanently. Equally, it is not difficult to appreciate that a child, who is allowed to grow with negative characteristics without correction, will grow up with them. Or a child growing up in a dysfunctional or abusive home will inevitably enter adulthood loaded with antagonism and aggression. On the other hand children, groomed in a stable home with healthy habits and attitudes will grow up to be balanced, healthy and mature individuals. This is a truth in all of nature where the ultimate fruit is always related to the ground in which the seed is planted; A seed planted in fertile, rich soil invariably results in a stronger tree and abundance of good fruit, while one planted in rocky soil grows scrawny, and produces much fewer and smaller fruit. This is, and always has been, the way of nature.

In the end, the message to be taken from Wordsworth’s wonderful poem reverberates over and over wherever and whenever children are exposed to any wrong influences. That we as adults must never forget this fact; that the child of today will be the adult of tomorrow and that whatever we do with them today will affect the person they will become, tomorrow. We must set the standard that they will follow, as Clarence B. Kelland, the prolific American author, so accurately observed when he wrote:

“My father didn’t tell me how to live;

He lived, and let me watch him do it.”

-No better advice can be given to every adult on whom a child depends to become the best man he can be.

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BEING TRUE

“This above all: to thine own self be true

And it must follow, as the night, the day,

Thou canst not then be false to any man.”

This insightful quotation is taken from Act 1, Scene 3 of William Shakespeare’s most popular masterpiece, The Tragedy of Hamlet, written around 1600 AD. In a few simple lines, he succeeded in drawing attention to the fundamental responsibility we all have to ourselves and our relationships with others. In clear and unequivocal terms he drew attention to this simple truth, that unless we are first true to ourselves, we cannot possibly be true to any one else.

 Although this, on face value, sounds quite simple to execute, it is and has always been, a most difficult undertaking to initiate and maintain by most of us. Especially in these modern times, where everything we do seems to revolve around artificial standards that bear no resemblance to reality, and where a person’s value is based more on notoriety achieved and actions completed, rather than on a life of truth and honesty. As a result, being true to oneself has become much more difficult to achieve than ever before; and it appears that society is quite willing to live with this. 

To remain “true” demands constantly applying honesty and self-criticism to one’s life, irrespective of how the results may impact the person. It also recognizes that to be true does not require that one must always say nice things to people, but it does require always saying the right things to them. And equally, it requires being sure enough to accept the truth about oneself, irrespective of whether this might be acceptable or not. Only when all these components are operating, can the person be honest and truthful and fulfill the role worthy of him.

Children growing up in a strong, supportive and encouraging family environment are far better equipped to deal with the world around. They are much more capable of standing up to the negative influences, the bad examples and threatening environment which are constantly working to undermine their every effort. But on the other hand, the child exposed to unhappy and dysfunctional influences within the family milieu, where its life is dominated by fear, distrust and disharmony, will grow up with a severely distorted self-image and a volatile, unpredictable personality. In fact, much of the final make-up of the adult can be directly attributed to the early external influences and how the child is able the assimilate them. As the great American philosopher, poet, author and leading transcendentalist, Ralph Waldo Emerson more than a century ago, so correctly noted:

“To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is truly your greatest accomplishment.”

When we are able to express genuine self-esteem, we are in fact being above all “to thine own self be true.”  But being truthful to one self can in fact be paradoxical; for while this is the greatest form of love to others, we can only do so if we accept ourselves with all our imperfections, and avoid the need to hide them from others. By accepting our weaknesses, and by resisting the urge to hide them behind a false screen of our making, we are able to be ourselves and move forward with confidence. This indeed, is the only way that we can truly become who we really are. As the great ancient Chinese master, Lao Tzu, so effectively noted:

“When I let go of what I am,

 I become what I might be."

Nathaniel Hawthorne, the well respected, American novelist and author of the classic American standard, “The Scarlett Letter” quite effectively described this conflict of identity in his book, when he recorded:

“No man for any considerable period can wear one face to himself and another to the multitude, without finally getting bewildered as to which may be the true.”

-This is indeed the only way to avoid the crisis of self that invariably develops when we fail to be true to ourselves.

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SEEKING SILENCE

“Consider in silence whatever anyone says; Speech both conceals and reveals the inner soul of man.”

         This sound advice by Cato the Elder (Marcus Porcius Cato), a leading Roman senator and historian who lived in the 2^nd century, BC, has indeed stood the test of time. It is as relevant today as it was in his time, more than two millennia ago. He explained further his views on choosing silence by adding the following insightful and relevant  advice:

 

“I think the first virtue is to restrain the tongue. He approaches nearest to God who knows how to be silent; even though he is in the right.”

         The powerful effect of silence has long been appreciated and utilized by many people in a variety of ways, to achieve their desired goals. When used appropriately, silence has a certain energy and impact quite unlike any other energy source available to man. It has the power to produce a wide selection of contrasting responses that can cover the full spectrum of human behavior. On the one hand, it can be effectively used to undermine the confidence of people, or alternatively serve to encourage others to try harder. It can induce people to think positively and act more decisively, or serve to slow the mind down, and induce inaction and apathy. Again it can become quite disconcerting to many, giving rise to worry and anxiety, or on the other hand, become so uplifting as to cause others to be inspired and stimulated. It is not surprising therefore that this wide variability in responses serves to render it one of the most dynamic and effective tools available to any man able to make full use it.

         Perhaps the most damaging effect of silence is by its very nature of creating a void. In such a state where the mind is left to fill in the blanks, it usually responds by focusing on the worst fears and the worst ideas existing within it, controlled by the latent insecurities and inadequacies. This quickly renders them vulnerable and without any sense of direction. It is for this reason that people who are isolated and forced to endure long periods of silence against their will, suffer such serious consequences. 

But on the other hand silence undoubtedly improves the ability of an individual to function at a more effective level. By remaining silent, the opportunity to listen and to focus on the problem becomes enhanced, as does the skill in solving it. It increases the opportunity to better understand the problem and equally, to identify hidden nuances more efficiently. For with the mind unencumbered by its own thoughts and anxieties, it is more able to decipher the circumstances around with more clarity, and find answers more readily. Further, silence is a powerful ally of self-control. By remaining silent and not responding impulsively, as most people tend to do, one not only guards against making unintended remarks or action, but gains insight on how others are thinking and acting. Clearly, in situations where new challenges have to be faced, remaining silent initially, will result in a better chance of choosing the right response and avoiding serious mistakes.

In Buddhism, Solitude and Silence and the art of Yoga is practiced essentially to find and free oneself from the uncontrolled contaminating noises of the world around. Here the intention is to turn one’s thoughts inwards and get in touch with the true self and listen to oneself. The greatest handicaps preventing us from seeing the world as it really is and appreciating its true beauty, is our spontaneous, uncontrolled thought processes. In their determined attempt to protect, they invariably lay down so many layers of defense which get in the way and interfere with clarity. By bypassing one’s ego and the endless thoughts emanating from the conscious mind, one begins to see the true world as it really is. When this happens, a connection to the flow of energy within is developed with the power necessary to refuel the mind resulting in a deeper enhancement of thought. Anyone who successfully meditates in silence will willingly attest to this.  

            Like many others, I have over the course of my life, met and spoken with countless numbers of people who for various reasons have chosen to spend part of their time in silent solitude. Some have done this for religious reasons and others for personal enrichment. The successful ones have all happily described their experience in terms such as: ‘it is the language of God,’ ‘the language of the heart,’ ‘the source of true joy or happiness,’ ‘finding the inner spiritual force,’ among many other superlatives. In all of these practitioners, the benefits derived were palpable and visible for all to see. They were all more confidant, more secure and more deliberate in their choices and their actions.

         In this world, overloaded with the noises of anger, hatred, distrust and selfishness, and weighed down by the boulders of greed, suspicion and lies, there is great and urgent need from us all to take time to find ourselves and our true reason for living. The answer will never be found searching in the materialistic and cacophonic world around us, but rather in the solitude and silence of ourself. St. Teresa of Kolkota, the Serbian-born missionary who devoted her life serving the poor and destitute street inhabitants of Kolkota, India, and across the world, found her answers very early in her career when she wrote:

“We need to find God, and he cannot be found in noise and restlessness. God is the friend of Silence. See how nature, the trees, the flowers, the grass grows in Silence. And see the stars, the moon and the sun, how they move in Silence. We need Silence to touch souls.”

Indeed, our lives can only reach its fullest capacity, if we take the time to seek its true purpose in the solitude and silence of ourselves.

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THE ENEMY WITHIN

“The worst enemy you can meet will always be yourself”

The above quotation is taken from a powerful philosophical novel published in four parts by the great German author and philosopher, Friedrich Nietzsche, between 1883 and 1891. They were published under the title “Thus Spoke Zarathustra” and related the mythical story of the ancient Persian prophet, Zarathustra coming down from his solitude in the mountain to tell the world what he learnt about God and man. His words were quite definitive indeed, stating that man was his own worst enemy as he explained in the following comments which preceded his conclusion:

“You lie in wait for yourself in caverns and forests.

Lonely one, you are going the way to yourself! And your way goes past yourself, and past your seven devils!

You will be a heretic to yourself and witch and soothsayer and fool and doubter and unholy one and villain.

You must be ready to burn yourself in your own flame; how

could you become new, if you had not first become ashes?”

Throughout the section he drew attention to man’s state of mind  which caused him to be his own worst enemy, and concluded that until a man learns to deal with this state, he is doomed to a life of failure and disappointment. He went further to remind us that we must resist blaming the conflict that exists within us on ignorance, for we should all be fully aware of the options available to us. He stressed that we should be aware of a tug-of-war that is constantly raging within us, where one side of us is urging us to move forward, and the other, constantly finding excuses to hold us back.

This is an enemy that is more dangerous than anything else we will ever encounter during our lifetime. It works in secret from within, and can wield tremendous power over the individual. Because of a misguided subconscious desire to protect the individual at all cost, it will use any reason or subterfuge to sabotage plans and frustrate life.  It is a deeply ingrained defense mechanism acquired and developed over centuries of human existence and focused entirely on ensuring survival of the species under any circumstances. It does not concern itself with right or wrong, but exclusively on survival at all cost.

 In every one of us, each moment of living requires attention and decisions directed to securing and advancing life itself within the existing conditions. But while this is happening there are internal instincts acting as negative forces standing in the way, blocking access and preventing progress. It is as if there is a war constantly going on within us, preventing us from finding answers, determined to try to undermine our confidence, to remind us of our supposed inadequacies, and to challenge our resolve. If unchallenged, this inevitably serves to tear us down, destroy our confidence and render us vulnerable. Psychologists refer to them in such terms as ‘Id’ and ‘Ego’ and ‘Conscious’ and ‘Sub-conscious’ but whatever the term used, they are indeed “the devils within.”

         The secret of dealing with your enemy is not by giving in or by being afraid, but rather by understanding it and yourself. In this way you will be able to choose the right steps to ensure victory. As the great ancient Chinese philosopher and military strategist San Tzu, confidently advised:

“When you know your enemy and know yourself, you can fight a hundred battles, without disaster.”

        

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TRUSTING YOURSELF

 

“A bird sitting on a tree is never afraid of the branch breaking, because its trust is not on the branch, but on its own wings; 
  -Always believe in yourself!”

        

These very perceptive words, contained in a quotation by an Unknown Author, speak directly to the power of trusting oneself. Without the confidence that comes from trusting one’s ability, neither this nor any other action can be accomplished. Trusting oneself, as the quotation implies, must begin from within, with a belief in oneself and the courage to follow through. It does not, and must not be controlled by any other influence or by any external force. Rather, it must originate internally, arising directly out of the person’s willingness and confidence to rely on his own initiative, ability and integrity to deal with the challenges in his life; -free from any dependence or reliance on help from other sources!

All the members of the animal kingdom, with the exception of the humans are, after a short period of nurturing, left to seek their own resources to survive as best as they can. They quickly learn to do so by their own effort, without having to rely on anything else. But in the case of human beings the very opposite applies. From birth, the child is nurtured fully, coming under the influence and the control of belief systems of family and friends as well as to a multitude of different surrounding cultural surrogates. As the child’s development progresses into adulthood, it continues to be influenced to varying degrees, by the demands of people in authority with whom it comes in contact, in addition to the accepted practices of the society at large.

 The main thrust of these influences is aimed toward personal protection, self-preservation and conformity to the existing status quo. Since these are predominantly fear-based and limiting, and do not encourage or support change or risk-taking, it should be no surprise therefore that having lived through this period of conformity, the adult rather than being free to experiment and take risks, ends up with a sense of hesitancy, uncertainty and fear of making any choices that tend to go against the prevailing behavior patterns. The end result is the acquisition of an undercurrent of doubt in trusting itself to make good choices, even when it may judge them to be justifiable. This hesitancy explains the constant need of so many to look to, and find reassurance from others in any thing they do. It is this attitude that prompted Dr. Benjamin Spock, the well recognized American-born pediatrician and author of the most successful book on child care, “Baby and childcare” in 1964, and a leading advocate of positive child behavior, to offer this reassuring advise:

“Trust yourself. You know more than you think.”

Sigmund Freud, the renowned Austrian-born, American neurologist and the acknowledged father of Psychoanalysis, was the first to explain that behavior has less to do with what we think we know, and more about the effect of our past experiences and their influence, real or imagined, on our unconscious mind. He postulated that all our painful experiences in childhood remain repressed in our subconscious and as a result, they control and modify our subsequent behavior. The intent of the subconscious is to avoid further perceived pain and conflict, and because of this, all our actions are directed away from any risk-taking, challenges or change. In this setting, it becomes easy to understand why trust in oneself is replaced by a fear of failing, and confidence becomes suppressed by caution.

 It should not come as a surprise therefore that so often we find ourselves looking to others to try to find solutions because we do not trust ourselves to do the things we know we are capable of doing. We have become so defensive that we are content to create safe zones which serve only to protect the status quo, and cheat ourselves from all the joys of full expression. It is this sub-conscious lack of faith in ourselves, and what we are capable of doing, which interferes with our ability to produce our best, and forces us to stay within ‘comfortable’ limits by firmly discouraging risk-taking.

 Further, people who don’t trust themselves, actually create, within their psyche, a self-perpetuating cycle of fear and inadequacy that serves to continually convince themselves, at the subconscious level,  that any attempt to seek the happiness and satisfaction they wanted, may have serious consequences. They continue to live in this quasi-paradoxical way of accepting less than they know they are capable of achieving, in order to avoid the perceived consequences of trying and failing. Instead, they follow others, in order to avoid having to blame themselves in the event there is failure.

         Every act of trusting involves a constant interaction between the past experiences, the present desires and the future anticipation. The ultimate results will depend on which of these are dominant. If the past experiences are dominant, then the actions taken are likely to be defensive and without risk resulting in extreme caution in oneself, and greater dependence on others. On the other hand, when the future dominates, without truly taking into account the past experiences and failings, and ignoring present needs and capability, the results are equally unrewarding and disappointing. Trusting can only be truly effective and rewarding when a balance exists between the recognition of past experiences, the correct assessment of future needs, and a realistic knowledge of present ability. When this combination is operating, when one is able to function fully and unencumbered, then and only then can the greatest levels of freedom, satisfaction and contentment be achieved. A study of any of the very successful entrepreneurs will readily reveal the strong presence of this balance, without which they could not have achieved success.

        Learning to trust one self is neither difficult nor impossible, but requires understanding, commitment and persistence. It must begin with an honest evaluation and incite of who you are and what you truly want out of this life. Only then can you proceed forward confidently, guided by your past experiences, your good sense and your intuition to achieve your goals. The late Steve Jobs, one of the most successful entrepreneurs of all time, founder and CEO of such successful companies as Apple Inc, and Pixar Animation Inc, in his classic commencement speech to the graduating class of Stanford University in 2005, concluded with the following advice:

“Again, you can’t connect the dots looking forward; you can only connect them looking backwards. So you have to trust the dots will somehow connect in your future. You have to trust in something; -your gut, destiny, life, karma, whatever! This approach has never let me down, and it has made all the difference in my life.”

Nothing I have heard before and after can match the power and the accuracy of this advice. In just a few short lines Jobs laid out the framework that every person who is seeking to learn and to implement how to trust himself, should follow.

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MAN IS NOT AN ISLAND

“No man is an Island all to itself; Every man is a piece of the continent, a part of the main.”

When the great English priest and poet John Donne, considered by many as the most loved poet in the English language, published his famous poem entitled “No man is an island”* in 1624, it was received by many of his contemporaries with skepticism. It was written at a time when he was gravely ill and survival was in doubt. He was trying to make the case that, contrary to the existing class and gender distinctions in the society, as well as the co-existing rampant slavery and racial subjugation which was the accepted norm, we as human beings cannot exist in isolation but as a part of the whole ‘continent of humanity.’ He went further to suggest that in fact, in the broadest sense, there should be no boundaries existing between anyone in the world. In the eyes of God, we are all one and are meant to be such.

He viewed all mankind as being a book with only one author and all the members being included together within its pages. He argued further that because of this arrangement, each one affects, and is affected by everyone else in indirect and direct ways. So, as a result, whenever someone dies it will affect everyone else in some way. He explained further, that in the same way after reading it, ‘the page is not torn off and discarded but continues on in the body of the book,’ so too in death the person is not discarded and forgotten but continues on in our memories. He continues in his poem in the following way:

“Any man’s death diminishes me. Because I am involved in mankind, and therefore never send to know for whom the bell tolls; It tolls for thee”

          He reasoned that when one person dies, like the fluttering of the butterfly wings or a drop of water falling into the sea, it sends a ripple into the world that will affect all of us, each in a very different but personal way, preparing us for our own event. So that he concluded, whenever you hear the bells ringing, they will be ringing for everyone. This is the reason for comparing the human race to a continuous continent rather than isolated islands, and to his insistence that we are not separate but all shared in the unity of humanity. 

         The idea behind this observation is that irrespective of whatever we do or think we are doing, we cannot avoid the fact that we are all interconnected in so many ways, one with the other, in an unending fabric, very much like the parts in the body or of the countries in a continent. Clearly in any person, the eyes cannot afford to be indifferent to the heart, or the lungs or the arm or any other part of its body. Nor for that matter, can anyone, or any people or any community or group, for whatever reason, set themselves apart for others, since what happens to one part will necessarily affect all the others in some way or another. As Donne so beautifully points out, that whenever the bell tolls, it is inevitably tolling for each one of us in a personal way. -Whether we listen to it or ignore it, is a different consideration.

         The real tragedy is that despite the passage of all these centuries, man has yet to learn the wisdom of this approach and we are therefore condemned to a world where the hope of love and sharing is overshadowed by the intent of constant turmoil brought on by division, anger and suspicion. Where, instead of expanding and building more bridges of understanding in our world for all of us, we are choosing to build more and more islands and barriers and separations. Thus reaffirming all the more, the validity of John Donne’s lament on all our behalf:

“Never send to know for whom the bells toll. It tolls for thee”

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