LIVING WITH ANGER

“You will not be punished for your anger.

You will be punished by your anger.”

This quotation whose source is generally accepted to be Buddha, is a powerful reminder of the real consequences of anger. There is no doubt that uncontrolled anger has caused more personal pain, disruption and suffering than all of the other major emotional expressions in human behavior put together.

But anger itself is not necessarily a bad thing. In fact the human mind works effectively when it uses anger to ensure its survival and protect it from becoming victim to external forces. By exhibiting anger, the individual draws attention to a situation that needs resolution. It is the key emotion which serves to alert and prepare the individual to respond to attacks, or warn of any potential threats that may develop or which may exist throughout the animal kingdom.

The ability to show anger develops very early in life and can be seen in very young babies who use it to communicate discomfort or hunger. During life, when it is used correctly, it is a constructive force which forms part of the flight-or-fight response that alerts us and motivates us to take protective action. In addition, anger when judiciously utilized, can go a long way to solve potential problems and prevent conflicts that would have become worse if no action had been taken.

Whatever the cause, angry reactions give rise to identifiable physiological and psychological symptoms and signs which can be readily identified and measured. These are related to the ‘flight or fight’ response and predominantly involve the autonomic system. The most common outward signs are widely open eyes, hot flushed appearance, elevated heart and respiratory rates and temperature. This is accompanied by agitation and overall muscular tension. The attitude, one of aggressive suspicion, may be accompanied by an altered voice tone.  Quite often, especially in the pathologically angry individuals, these feelings are accompanied by actions that are out of proportion to the original trigger and have been known to lead to serious psychological and physical trauma, including murder.

Such rage reactions are not uncommon and may occur in every age group and every setting known to man. They cause a great deal of pain and suffering whenever they occur, and very rarely, if ever, lead to any resolution or satisfaction. They are often accompanied subsequently by regret and remorse by the perpetrators, but of course this will serve no useful purpose to the victims of the abuse. The remorse and regret is usually transient and recurrence of the behavior is quite consistent. The end result is that these people tend to be shunned and avoided by the rest of society and find themselves ostracized to the periphery.

Seneca, the great Roman philosopher, stoic and thinker, who lived during the time of Christ, was one of the first people to undertake a serious study of anger. Interestingly, His findings, with regard to its recognition, management and avoidance have remained virtually unchanged over the years and are as relevant today as they were thousands of years ago. In his famous essay he described anger as a “plague” which has cost the human race more than any thing else. He concluded quite appropriately that: “Anger, if not restrained, is frequently more hurtful to us than the injury it provokes.”

Whatever the cause and whatever the circumstances, anger is never justifiable or excusable. Everyone loses something that can never be replaced, but the angry person will lose much more than most. As the great Buddha himself, is fond of reminding us:

“Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal

with the intent of throwing it at someone else;

But you are the one who gets burned.”

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