CHOOSING TO CARE

"When you were born, you cried and the world rejoiced.

Live your life so that when you die, the world cries and

you rejoice."

                                                                                                                                                                                     

This profound statement, ascribed to the folklore of the great Cherokee Indian Nation of North America will go down as one of the most important observations ever recorded. In just a few, well chosen words it casts a bright light on how we should live our life on earth. At birth there was joy all around at our arrival, even though as newborn infants, we resented the change of milieu. But when we die the only way we have of gauging our impact is by how the people around us respond. If there is happiness and relief expressed by all, you will know your living would have been a failure. But if there was regret and disappointment among those left behind for your departure, then your life was well spent and you will be remembered for your presence and your caring.

When we are born we enter the world as empty vessels full of hope and expectations. But far too often so many of us end up having wasted our lives by following the crowd and by trying to conform to their demands. We live our whole lives in search of popularity and of acceptance, rather than being ourselves and living the life we ought to be living. We spend our lives doing things to please our selfish desires, or to satisfy the demands of others. We devote our efforts entirely to accumulating material possessions, or achieving fame and fortune. And all these are quite often achieved by us at the expense of others without our being concerned even aware about the consequences of our actions.

We give little regard to how our behavior affects the lives of our neighbors and we care less about their needs and aspirations. We are driven headlong with the desire to be successful at all cost, and do everything to receive the acclamation of our neighbors; without giving any consideration to the damage we do to others, by design or by neglect. We “strut and fret” about demanding attention and become disappointed or angry when the attention is not forthcoming. We are ready to blame everyone for our failures and take every opportunity to accuse others for the shortcomings.

 These are the trappings that our society requires of us to be included among the favorite, rich and famous and these are the measures used to decide success or failure. They are the requirements that society demands in order to bestow its rewards, its accolades, its embellishments and its monuments. It matters little how and under what circumstances these are acquired and even less, what kind of effect the actions had on others. But in truth, all these gains are merely facades that will remain only as long as the individual remains popular. They are all eventually destined to disappear into oblivion, buried with their owners, by the sands of time. As also, will their names and their achievements be equally forgotten by all but a few;   -and no one will care. 

And then there are other people who spend their time on earth caring about the welfare of others and doing what they can to improve the lives and the opportunities of those who, because of illness, need, circumstances, ignorance or neglect, are looked down upon and generally consigned to the societies’ rubbish heaps. These caring people on the contrary, are never forgotten, and their names and deeds are recorded, repeated and remembered long after they have departed. As Margaret Mead, the renowned American cultural anthropologist, so saliently reminded us all when she observed: 

“Never believe that a few Caring people can't change the world. Indeed, that's all who ever have”.

Throughout history, every generation has produced its own select compliment of candidates, all of whom possessed that common factor of caring for others and devoting their lives to doing what is necessary to improve their lives and opportunities. Their names and their works are indelibly recorded in the history of mankind and the world indeed has recognized these people and continues to do so with the passage of time. The names of such people like St. Francis of Assisi, Blessed Teresa of Kolkata, Mahatma Gandhi, Martin Luther King, Jr., Nelson Mandela, Louis Pasteur and Albert Schweitzer, will live into posterity not for the empires they built, or the material wealth they acquired, but for the lives they led, the people they helped and the examples they set.

In these modern days of excess and overindulgence, it is very  tempting to follow the crowd and fall into a life of selfishness and   self-gratification and spend your life, as so many are doing, only focusing on their goals and their desires and then justify this by adopting the popular attitude of ‘taking care of number one.” From early life we are being taught to “mind our own business” and we grow up believing that the less we become involved with other people, the better we can take care of ourselves. Our societies are being driven by a form of social paranoia, as we shy away further and further from the fundamental principles of care, love, affection and compassion that our forefathers preferred. Instead we have become more concerned with the self, and totally unconcerned about others or even less, of our own effect on others.

       This is unfortunate since man was never meant to live such a life of selfish indifference. Professor Alan Dershowitz, the outstanding American lawyer, author and one of the leading defenders of civil liberties, recognized this human trait when he noted:

“Good character consists of recognizing the selfishness that is inherent in each of us, and trying to balance it against the altruism to which we should all aspire.”

Clearly your life will become far more rewarding if you spend some time caring about the welfare of the other people around you. 

      Just by providing a listening ear, or extending a helping hand, or becoming concerned in, and providing support to people in need, will go a long way in making you a better person. To be more caring, you must be less self-absorbed and instead become more appreciative of the people in your life. We need to learn to be more grateful to others, and more concerned about their welfare. For by doing this, your humanity will grow and you will begin to realize the truth that mankind was never intended to be individual islands in a sea of humanity, but rather, as so many individual branches of the same tree, closely interconnected yet independent, with each one supporting the other. 

       Professor Leo Buscaglia, the very successful public speaker and one of America’s most popular authors and inspirational gurus, who devoted his teachings to love and caring, spent his life trying to makes us aware of the need for caring and the dangers of trying to live a life of selfish isolation. He explained his beliefs in the following terms:

“Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring; All of which have the potential to turn a life around.”

The truth of these words rings out loudly and clearly to any one who is willing to listen. But unfortunately, so many people have been so deafened by the cacophony of modern civilization that they never hear a single word of reason. As a result, these people are doomed to a life devoid of the joy and satisfaction from caring, and forced to live in a world of suspicion and distrust. This is the price that must be paid for living a life devoid of caring for others.

<          >