LIVING IN THE PRESENT

“Remember that man lives only in the present, in this fleeting instant. All the rest of his life is either past and gone, or not yet revealed.”

The above quotation by Marcus Aurelius, the great Roman Emperor and Stoic philosopher who ruled in the 2^nd century B.C. is considered to be one of the fundamental principles of the Stoic philosophy. In this brief but decisive statement he endorsed his primary belief that everything must be seen as they are in the present, and that anything which has already happened, is now beyond our control. And further, since the future is yet to be, it therefore does not exist and should have no influence on the present. This principle of human behavior has survived unchallenged, and has grown with the passing centuries. It remains today the very foundation of a happy and successful life in most societies of the world.

Life can only be lived in the present and any attempt to do otherwise leads to confusion and disappointment. As I have noted in a previous essay; Life itself takes place only in the present. It may include past experience, but it is not of the past. The future has not yet arrived and therefore cannot be included in the present. But every moment we spend in the present is always preceded by the past and will always be followed by the future. Life as we experience it can only be meaningful in this moment and can only be lived for this moment. When we choose instead to tie the present with the events of the past, we only succeed in confusing the picture and create conflict and uncertainty.

Dr. Deepak Chopra, the well respected, Indian-born American physician, author, public speaker and staunch advocate of alternative medicine, in one of his many very well received public lectures, described his view of life in the following terms:

 “Life is a story we weave together from the thoughts, feelings, and emotions we experience each moment. Yet we live the majority of our life in the memories of our past and the expectations of the future. Rarely do we live in the purity of the present.”

 Dr. Chopra lamented the fact that we spend the great majority of our time looking back at our past experiences, and focusing more on what we had done, or should have done, and even worrying how others are viewing our actions. This results in our wasting a lot of time trying to learn lessons that are neither learnable, nor even relevant for the present, and projecting them into the future which is impossible to predict with any certainty.  He stressed that both of these approaches invariably prove futile to our welfare, but even worse, they actually prevent us from enjoying ‘the beauty and the purity of the present’.

 In an interview with Oprah Winfrey a few years ago, Dr.Chopra suggested further that society, with its preoccupation with achieving goals, is much more concerned with looking to the future, and has little interest in the events of this present moment except as it impinges on the future. It should be no surprise to anyone therefore, he reasoned, that we all find ourselves living in a state of regret for the past, and anxiety for the future and spend little time living in the now! He insisted that we will only be at our best and highest levels when we accept to live in the present moment dealing with our present desires, and even went further to suggest that; Living in the present creates the experience of eternity.

        

This view is in fact by no means unique or unconventional and in fact has been shared by many authorities throughout the ages. These are led by the great ancient Chinese philosopher and writer, Lao Tzu, who lived in the 4^th century BC. In trying to explain this dilemma, he correctly recorded, many centuries ago, the following observation:

“If you are depressed, you are living in the past.

If you are anxious, you are living in the future.

If you are at peace, you are living in the present.”

He elaborated this by explaining that if one spends one’s life reliving the past, enacting over and over past experiences, especially if they had resulted in feelings of pain and regret, he will naturally end up allowing the past to capture his life and influence his behavior. Then life loses its meaning, and depression is inevitable. And even further, by continuing to relive the negativity of past experiences and feeling the pains of regret, we become conditioned to believing that the future will hold more of the same. This only leads us to look to the future with further anxiety.

But by living in the present moment, being aware of life around you, what you are doing, thinking and feeling, you will be able look at your life as it actually is, and not colored or distorted by the memories of past experiences. This will result in life being viewed from its right perspective, uncomplicated by the past emotions or memories. In this setting, clearly any interpretations made or decisions arrived at, being free of the fear, insecurity or disappointments, are less likely to complicate decisions made or action taken for the future. Dr. Jon Kabat-Zinn, the well known American psychologist, professor-emeritus in medicine and founder of the Mindfulness Stress Reduction Clinics, explained this in perceptive and elaborate details when he wrote:

“The only time you have in which to learn anything, or see anything, or feel anything, or express any feeling or emotion, or respond to an event, or grow, or heal is this moment. Because this is the only moment any of us gets. You are only here now; you are only alive in this moment.”

        

Sometime ago Marianne Williamson, the respected American author and lecturer, in a discussion of the topic, very appropriately made the following observation:

“We do not heal the past by dwelling there,

We heal the past by living in the present.”

She explained that as human beings we have a tendency to relive the past, to enact past events in our mind and to question ourselves over and over again. If they were happy events, we try to search out reasons for their occurring and try to apply them in other situations, in the hope of continuing our happiness. If they were disappointing, then we spend our time re-enacting them and trying to look for any lessons to be applied in the future. Even worse, we often try to use these experiences as excuses to avoid any further actions altogether in the hope that they may help us to avoiding more pain. But all of these actions will serve no real purpose in the present moment, except to waste time, squander emotional energy and increase insecurities.

        

By living in the present, by living with the full and complete awareness of this moment rather than allowing your mind to dwell on the past or into the future, we are able to concentrate our attention on the task at hand. By seizing each moment in life, allows us to prolong its true value to us and renders it more meaningful and more rewarding to our living. We are able to focus our energies better, be more productive in our efforts, more able to learn the right lessons and be more confident with our decisions. This is the only genuine formula that inevitably leads to the much happier relationships we are all searching for; No one ever forgets those moments in their lives when they successfully savored the joys and the rewards of thinking and living and achieving, without having the burdens of the past or the apprehensions of the future bearing down on them!

        

But to be successful and continue to stay successful in this endeavor is not an easy task. We must first overcome the very human tendency of continuing to live in the past, of holding on to the painful experiences or perceived faults and weaknesses. Equally, we must be able to overcome our constant urge of recalling difficult times in the past that have condemned us to believing that the present and the future will the same. We must be able to recognize that although we cannot change the past, we can accept and come to terms with it. For only then can we truly set it aside and move on. Without any doubt we must learn the truth in the fact that to live in the moment demands releasing the past and trusting that the future will be better. The more we are successful in removing the shackles of the past and ignoring the dark clouds of the future, the more positive and optimistic we become in the present, and the more confident and promising will our life become.

        

Perhaps the world renowned Vietnamese Buddhist monk, prolific author and dedicated peace activist, Thich Nhat Hanh, made the most accurate assessment of all, when he offered the following advice:

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The past is gone. The future is not yet here.

And if we do not go back to ourselves in the present,

We cannot hope to be in touch with life.”

It will do us all a great good, to take heed of these profound words of wisdom. Life will only have meaning when we are able to live it in the present.

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