FINDING INNER RESOURCES

"You make a choice or set a goal and let people know about it. Then just getting started leads to the discovery of internal resources that help us to go further than we ever thought we could."                                                                                  

 This quotation by Christopher Reeve, a young, brilliant, talented, highly successful American actor, film director, producer, screenwriter, author and activist, is one that will recur prominently in the annals of human endeavor. This is the story of a young man who, at the height of his career in 1995, sustained a life changing fall from a horse during an equestrian competition. The fall resulted in two severely damaged cervical vertebrae and a concomitant below-neck paralysis that was total and irreversible. Rather than cower in despair and depression, cursing his luck and his God, as so many would have done and continue to do, he rose to the challenge and chose to find the inner resources buried deeply within him that were needed to become a new champion for all the countless unfortunate paraplegics like him. During the 9 years he lived before dying suddenly from recurrent septicemia in 2004, he became a committed lobbyist and outspoken spokesman for people with spinal cord injuries and he advocated tirelessly for stem cell research to help find a cure. He founded several foundations to assist others with disability. He has been instrumental for the donation of millions of dollars to the cause.

His story is by means uncommon or unusual. It speaks for endless examples of people who were rendered incapacitated in body or mind but were able to dig deep into their inner resources and find a way to continue living. Marc Buonoconti was a 19 year old student at The Citadel was he sustained a broken neck while playing football in 1985 more than 30 years ago. By his own admission, his first few years were a disaster until he found the difference and his reason to continue living. He described this in his own words as:

 “The ability to do something for somebody else is far more rewarding and important. The experiences that I’ve been able to go through both good and bad have made this life much more rewarding and much more beautiful than I know for sure that my other life would have been.”

Although permanently confined to a wheelchair, and completely dependent on others for most things, he heads an organization, The Miami Project to Cure Paralysis, together with the University of Miami, which is aggressively trying to achieve a breakthrough in providing help to those in need.

         In very similar situation, are the countless number of young men and women of the armed forces who sustained substantial injuries while serving in active combat duty. The great majority of those who returned home had no option but to find the necessary strength of character and determination needed to overcome their handicaps and resume their lives at home. In every one of these successful instances, their recovery was facilitated not only by the excellent advances in medical care available, but to a great extent, because they were able to dig deep within themselves and find their inner resources to assist in overcome their adversities. Those who failed, were left to wallow in their misery supported by others, or to join the increasing army of the homeless population that inhabit the nation’s parks and alleys. The stories of those who succeeded bring to mind the famous quotation by the great Greek stoic philosopher, Epictetus, who more than 2000 years ago observed:

“Every difficulty in life presents us with an opportunity to turn inward and invoke our own submerged inner resources. The trials we endure can and should introduce us to our strengths.”

         Psychologists describe these subconscious abilities to respond to threatening situations that are far beyond the routine experiences, as the inner resources. One’s inner resources are the dominant driving forces that determine how the individual behaves when faced with threatening situations. In any situation they directly influence whether the action taken is positive and responsive, rather than just reactive and defensive. They are embedded in the individual’s psyche and reinforced by the individual’s underlying beliefs, experiences and attitudes, and brought to bear in support of the special needs. They not easily accessible, and can be seriously compromised by previous failed and bad experiences in early life. They will only appear when the circumstances are appropriate and warranted, and the individual is committed and receptive.

         The history of man’s behavior throughout the centuries is replete with examples of stories of outstanding successes against daunting and insurmountable odds. In every instant these people were able to find their elusive inner resources that propelled them to move forward against formidable obstacles. They found a reason to rise above the restrictions of fear, self-pity, and sorrow, and to recognize that they had within them the opportunity to help others by their own example, to cope with their burdens. Their choice was relatively simple. People like Buonoconti and Reeve had the option to wallow in their misery and spend the rest of their lives totally dependent on the kindness of others for everything, and blame God and everyone else for their misfortune. Or, as in the case of my late brother-in-law, who was himself a victim of a broken neck accident, who chose to accept his misfortune as an act of God, blaming no one, not even himself. He, like an untold number of other people from all walks of life who have found themselves in such situations, found great peace and renewed purpose in dedicating the rest of his ‘new life’ to teaching and helping others to cope with the demands their disabilities.

         The tendency of looking to others for support whenever we find ourselves in stormy waters is universal. We instinctively turn to others for help, for strength, and for reassurance because of the deeply embedded fear of inadequacy in our own ability that so many of us possess. To a large extent, this is the result of society’s influences and exposures that serve to encourage us to be more reliant and dependent on others, and reduce the need to depend on ourselves. Yet the truth is that in every situation of stress or confrontation, while others can help to make the journey easier, it is always up to us to rally the necessary resources needed to complete the task. Albert Schweitzer, the great German physician, theologian, humanitarian, philosopher and Nobel laureate who spent his whole life in serving his fellow man in medicine and faith, reminded us of this when he noted:

“One, who gains strength from overcoming obstacles, possesses the only strength that can overcome adversity.”

The recently deceased Professor Stephen Hawking, the brilliant English mathematician and theoretical physicist whose work on cosmology and quantum gravity has changed our ideas of the universe, stands out as a glowing example of someone who has embraced his disability and found the inner strength to move far above the highest expectations. He was very severely physically disabled as a result of a chronic debilitating disease, ALS, which he contracted while yet an undergraduate student. The disease rendered him a ‘crumbled piece of humanity” totally confined to a wheelchair and only able to communicate by movement of a single facial muscle and the use of a sophisticated computer. Yet despite all of this, he found the strength and the resources to rise to the very highest pinnacle of human endeavor and admiration. Throughout his life he focused solely on his strengths and never on his weaknesses. When he was asked to comment on people with disability, he replied:

“My advice to other disabled people would be, concentrate on things your disability doesn’t prevent you doing well, and don’t regret the things it interferes with. Don’t be disabled in spirit as well as physically.”

-This to me is the true hallmark of a man who had succeeded to rise high above nature’s obstacles, search out and find his deepest inner resources, and making full use of them, enjoy the very best he can of the opportunities that his life offered him. 

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CONTENTMENT The Second Life

“My goal is to reach the end satisfied and at peace with 

my loved ones and my conscience. We have two lives and         

 the second begins when you realize you only have one.”

        

         Sometime ago, while enjoying the beautiful poetry of the great Brazilian poet, author and gifted pianist and musicologist Mario Andrade, I encountered the above quotation at the end of one of his poems which he called, ”My soul has a hat.” As I read the poem, I became aware of the feeling that he was, in his very unique way, reminding the reader how important it is for each one to move beyond all the bells and whistles of trying to live a life dominated by the need for rewards and success, for achieving and competing and for acquiring and controlling. Instead, he advocates, we should all truly evaluate our lives, find out the areas that provide the greatest satisfaction and happiness for ourselves and for the people we care about, and in so doing, live out our life at ‘peace with our conscience.’ To Andrade, This ‘Second Life’, this ‘State of Contentment’, is the only life that should really matter.

         Contentment is defined as a mental or emotional state of satisfaction arrived at when the soul is at ease with itself, and the mind is happy and fulfilled with its life; and it sees no need or desire to go after anything else. Although it may sound easy to achieve, in fact true contentment is without question, the most elusive commodity to achieve on this earth. It is a state that everyone dreams of securing one day, but only few of those ever truly succeed. It is a state of joy and satisfaction where the person is happy with the life he is leading and is not affected by anything other people are accomplishing or achieving. It does not mean that his life stops, nor does he have to give up his hopes and his dreams of improving his life, but it does imply that he is satisfied with the life he has in the present, and is not concerned about what others expect of him. It is a truly special frame of mind which relatively few lucky people are able to acquire during their life-time. It is the one which was so simply and effectively described by an Unknown Author in the following terms:

“Contentment is not the fulfillment of what you want,

 but the realization of what you already have."

The history of man, from the very beginning, was such that he was never ever able to find the opportunity to arrive at a state of contentment at any time of his life. Because of the scarcity of food supplies, the constantly threatening and difficult milieu, and the unpredictability of survival, he was forced to remain in a constant defense and control mode. He could not risk allowing any feelings of satisfaction and contentment to take hold since to do so, rendered him very vulnerable to the next attack. His life was such that he was forced to spend all is time in search of the next meal, the next shelter or in anxious anticipation of life preservation. Under these circumstances, there was little or no opportunity to experience any true contentment, and life was dominated by the ever-present need for the survival of the fittest.

Unfortunately, despite all the technical, sociological and  economic advances that have taken place over the many millennia since the beginning of civilization, this attitude of self-satisfaction at all cost, has remained essentially unchanged to this day. For although we live in a world overflowing with abundance in all the things we need, where laws and controls have essentially removed the threat of domination, and where life is guaranteed to all, irrespective of status, we have yet to lose that urgency for survival by the fittest. In today’s world, beginning from early childhood, we are encouraged to look at life as a potential threat and taught the essentials of self-survival and self-protection. Our brains are conditioned to perceive threats only, even when they do not exist, and we are driven to dream only of continuing to acquire, protect and horde possessions well beyond our needs, in order guard against these imagined threats. It comes as no surprise therefore that in this setting, just being content to live life without need or desire for more, is not considered to be a ‘reasonable’ goal to achieve and maintain.

         Society’s norms are driven less by need, and much more by competition and by desire. We have over the years, developed the attitude that happiness equates to possession and power, and that the more we acquire, the stronger we become and therefore the happier we will be. This has driven us to be constantly seeking to be ‘better’, not because this will necessarily improve our life or our living, but rather because we feel without this, we are somehow missing out on living. We have become slaves to our desires to be better and stronger, even to the point where the very pursuit of improvement beyond our comfort levels can often lead to unhappiness and discontent. This behavior has permeated every aspect of our lives and has led to creating a society of people able to enjoy a more and greater quality of life, yet becoming more and more disappointed and disenchanted with their lives. Mahatma Gandhi, the great Indian statesman, leader of the Indian non-violent Independence from the British Empire placed this in the right context when he stated:

“Man falls from the pursuit of the ideal of plain living and high thinking, the moment he wants to multiply his daily wants. Man’s happiness really lies in seeking contentment.”

            Most people will agree with, and admit to the importance of trying to find some degree of contentment in their lives, and to trying to achieve some degree of it. Unfortunately the great majority will not succeed in doing so. Since Contentment can never be attained so long as they continue to insist on setting their own conditions for achievement. And even on the occasions when they think they have found the answer, the results end up being fleeting and temporary and they quickly return to their life dominated by discontent and dissatisfaction. This is not surprising, since so long as such negative emotions as jealousy, suspicion, distrust and aggression are prominent, they will cause such deep scars in the individual’s psyche that the damage done can be permanent and irreparable. Contentment will never survive in any type of such toxic environments.

         There are many factors operating which serve to prevent people from achieving contentment, even if they genuinely want to do so. Some of these, such as trying to copy other people’s actions, living in the past, resisting change and pretending to be different, are relatively easy to recognize. But the two most prominent obstacles which constantly serve to undermine any attempt to succeed are their subconscious fear of failing and their inability to express true gratitude and humility. In this context, Buddha in his teachings many centuries ago offered his advice for achieving true contentment. His words are just as relevant today as they were when he delivered them more than 2000 years ago and continue to be worthy of serious consideration:

“Do not blindly believe what others say or do. See for yourself what brings contentment, clarity and peace; That is the path for you to follow.”

            Living a life of true contentment embodies certain definitive criteria which are distinctly different from those individuals who spend their whole lives trying to accumulate everything, control everyone and horde as much as they can. Despite all the successes they have accumulated, they are never ever be satisfied with their life and remain driven to achieve more, sometimes even against their better judgment. Contented people, as a group, appear to exhibit a certain distinctive mindset, of knowing when enough is enough, and qualities of living that are clearly different in every way. Among these attributes, the following standout as prominent factors:

-Living in the Present, and not being influenced by the failures of the past, or the promises of future gains.

-Emotional Maturity, knowing who you are and the extent of your personal boundaries and not concerned about what others think or expect.

-Self Identity, and strong family support, creating a person with strong and clear confidence to stay with their beliefs.

-Sense of Purpose, know the goals to be achieved and not being influenced by prevailing circumstances.

-Sense of Satisfaction, and a realistic evaluation of opportunities available and manageable.

-Humility to know the extent of ability and Gratitude to be satisfied with the outcome and not affected by criticisms or opinions.

            True Contentment provides such vital attributes as the opportunity for personal fulfillment, improving the outlook in life and reducing stress levels associated with the fear of failing or of not achieving, and allows you to appreciate the things you care about most. Life becomes more enjoyable because of the unmistakable freedom that comes from knowing who you really are, what your real needs are, and living the life you were destined to live, free from the shackles of having to compete with others. Contentment should never be looked on as an achievement to be acquired by effort or reward, but rather as an attitude that must be adopted in order to acquire the fundamental changes in behavior needed to lead to happiness and satisfaction. Repeated studies have demonstrated that in any community, the chances of finding an increased incidence of people enjoying personal contentment increases substantially in the presence of strong family units, strong community support and a culture of satisfaction in life’s basic needs. The Greek philosopher, Socrates, almost 2500 years ago, appreciated this dichotomy when he observed:

“He who is not contented with what he has, would not be contented with what he would like to have,”

                                         

         The contented spirit is one who rejects the greedy drive for the best of everything for one of making the best of what is available. By looking at life as it really is, it becomes easier to appreciate the potential possibilities and concentrate on what is really needed, rather than what is being missed. In relating with others, the contented person will appreciate the help given and make use of it, while the others are more concerned about how much more can be obtained. The contented person spends time enjoying what he has, and is proud of what he has for the satisfaction they provide,  while the other is unhappy because of the many things he has yet to acquire and has not. Above all, contentment encourages a sense of gratitude for all the positives that are experienced, and they genuinely value the life being lived while ignoring the lack of those things not available; -satisfaction is having enough, not everything!

         In this respect, I am reminded of the brilliantly appropriate quotation by an obscure French popular singer who has adopted the name of the ancient Egyptian God, Akhenaton. In a strange and imprecise way, he very wisely placed true contentment in the right perspective:

“To be satisfied with a little is the greatest wisdom.

 He that increases his riches increases his cares.

 But a contented mind is a hidden treasure, and troubles

 do not find it.”

-Indeed, to know a person who is truly contented in every aspect of his life is to appreciate the beauty of a life lived to its fullest. A life freed from the bonds of jealousy, suspicion, anger and greed and overflowing with satisfaction, love, respect and humility, and above all else, a life filled with God’s Blessings.

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UNDERSTANDING KARMA

“As you walk, eat, and travel, be where you are.

                        Otherwise, you will miss most of your life”.

         These profound words of advice by Gautama Buddha, the learned Indian monk who lived in the 4^th-5^th century BCE, and whose teachings were the foundation of Buddhism, are probably the most important words ever spoken. In this brief statement, he effectively reminded us that life can only be experienced to its greatest extent, if we always remain fully present and fully responsible for each and every moment in our lives. He went on to explain that, in order that we never miss a single experience, we must always to be mentally and physically fully aware of this present moment, and of the action we are contemplating. This is what was meant by the term, Karma:

“Each person is responsible for every thought, word or deed he expresses or generates, and equally, for any of the consequences that result from them.”

         The concept of Karma has existed in the ancient Indian Hindu mythology as far back as records are available. It is prominent in the oldest Hindu publication, “The Rigveda”, which appeared around 1500 BCE and has remained dominant since that time. It influences every action undertaken by an individual throughout his life on earth. In effect, it simply dictates that every person has the freedom to choose his response to a given situation, and that the reaction that follows is automatic, directly influenced by the character of the original response. A good deed for example, is rewarded with good results, and a bad act will be reciprocated with a bad result.

       In every situation, while the actual causative source of the action is completely beyond the person’s control, the attitude he brings to bear will trigger a response entirely of his choosing. Once this action is executed he will have no control over the consequences that follow. And the response will invariably follow the Law of Karma that, stated simply, is:

“Every action has consequences; for good or for bad.”

         The Buddha, some 1000 years later, refined this concept further when he defined Karma, not as ‘any action’ but as ‘any intention to act,’ whether this manifests itself in deed, act, word or thought. In Buddha’s view, it is the intention to act that will always carry the moral responsibility for good or bad, and it was this basic intention alone which had the moral character and power for creating the goodness, badness or neutrality that will ultimately determine the final action. As a result, the focus of interest changed from what was previously any physical action involving people and objects, to a psychological response of intent initiated by the individual. 

       To Buddha, the individual alone is responsible for his intention to act, and by doing so he alone will create the options for his future. At any moment, the individual can exercise his choice to act. How he chooses to do so will depend on the influences of his past experiences and how he interprets the present circumstances. All the actions are under the direct control of his Karma, and no one or no event can influence the result without the individual’s permission to allow it to do so.

In the end, what really matters in the formation of character is not so much the actual behavior involved in the action, but the intention for engaging in that action. In everything we do, we are controlled by the underlying intention, as Buddha took pain to stress:

“Your intention is your Karma.”

Consider the action of a person wielding a knife as he approaches. The mere fact of holding the knife means little without knowing the underlying intention of the person. Clearly the result will be very different if the intention was to harm the individual, than if it were to help him. The action therefore is of little consequence; rather it is always the intent that is the determinant factor.

In the Eastern cultures, good karma is considered to be crucial in developing wise, caring and loving human beings by creating the right settings. When a person chooses to act without any bad intentions, he conditions himself to repeating this action again and again and in so doing, begins to establish a habit of good deeds. Conversely, if the action arises out of harmful intentions, the individual is predisposed to repeating that action, leading to an increased likelihood of a pattern of harmful behavior developing. As Buddha himself, noted:

“Whatever a person frequently thinks and ponders upon;

That becomes the inclination of his mind.”

In the Buddhist philosophy, the motivating forces behind all actions are controlled by six intentions and that all behaviors are controlled by one or more of these intentions. They fall under two groups:

         1. Goodwill, Compassion and Generosity, which lead to good behavior.  

         2. Anger, Cruelty and Greed, which will give rise to bad behavior.

 The driving force in all of these is reflected by the underlying intention of the individual. If the intention arises from the first three, the subsequent actions will be positive and lead to good feelings. But if they arise from the second group, they will cause pain, suffering and disappointment and lead to anger and regret. 

       The individual’s karma, whether good or bad, will determine every response, irrespective of the type or reason of the causative action. A person with good karma will naturally approach every situation with kindness and compassion and search for understanding and resolution. While the other, faced with a similar situation, will view it with anger and suspicion, find only distrust and aggression, leading to an inevitable worsening of the situation.

         The importance of understanding Karma and the reason so much effort is placed on this, is that in the Buddhist tradition, this is the only way a person can succeed in changing his behavior and in improving himself. And only by fully achieving this, can a Buddhist ever hope to achieve Full Enlightenment, and arrive at the State of Happiness, in the hope of ultimately gaining a higher level of spirituality on subsequent reincarnation. Without this he is destined to continue to travel on at the present level forever. Finding this higher spirituality is the reason why the concept of Karma is held in such high regard throughout the Eastern culture, and considered by all, to be the paragon of Eastern philosophy.

         In Western thinking and belief, the concept of Karma is more or less alien because of the basic rejection of the principle of reward by Reincarnation in favor of a Supreme Being and a reward of Eternal life for obeying his commands. But nevertheless there are some striking similarities on the ethical conduct of life that should warrant serious consideration. In both instances, life must be conducted in a virtuous and ethical manner in order to achieve the desired goal of spiritual progress; on the one hand Enlightenment, and on the other, Godliness and Closeness to God. And in both instances the fundamental aim is to conduct one’s life in such a way as to achieve God’s good graces. In the Eastern tradition, Karma, controlled by the law of intentional consequences, dictates good actions will lead to receive good results, while the opposite will lead to bad results. While in the Western Belief System, good actions are rewarded through divine justice to eternal life, and bad actions are punished with eternal damnation.

         Irrespective of the profound differences in the separate philosophies between East and West, there is indeed, a definite kinship in both approaches that may justify the use of Karma as a common identity. In both instances, we are accountable to a higher authority and our intentional actions have consequences. The actions, in both instances are subject to our free will and our choice, and in both, we are responsible for the final outcome. Also in both cases the end result of our actions, good or bad, are destined to repeat themselves unless a direct effort is made by us, to correct them. In this respect, the internationally recognized Indian guru, Maharishi Mahesh Yogi, a leader in the Transcendental Meditation Movement, who spent his adult life successfully living and teaching in the West, summarized this concept of equality in both cultures, in the following terms:

 “You reap what you sow. Karma is the consequences; good or bad. You are judged by your actions. It is a gift that brings lessons for your soul’s growth, and will continue to do so, until they have been learnt.”

         The understanding of Karma to Western thought should not be very difficult to comprehend. It is primarily the driving force that keeps us accountable for our actions, irrespective of good or bad, or whether others find out or not. This principle applies even when a person is guilty of negative actions of which no one else is aware, for he will be aware of the fact, and he too will eventually suffer consequences. 

         It is important to remember also that in the belief systems of both cultures, that while the current life of each individual is but a minute particle of his life in eternity, yet the actions taken now will have bearing in the subsequent determination of eternal life of each.This clearly adds urgency to ensuring the living with good karma.

In reality, a person’s karma can be equated to all the knowledge and experience acquired, which serve to create memories that lead on to desires and to greater self-identity. The implication of this can be life-changing, since it means that we do have the ability to change our karma, no matter how ingrained our habits become. And this should give hope to every person for the choices they make during their short stay on this earth. The late Dr. Wayne Dyer, the highly successful American author, psychologist, and motivational speaker, in one of he excellent lectures, explained in very simple but effective terms, the true impact of our Karma as each person chooses to interact with others when he cautioned:

“How people treat you is their Karma.

How you react to people is yours.”

In the end, always being mindful of his Karma, Man has been allowed control of his life to live it to the fullest. He has been afforded a freedom to think, speak and act as he chooses, recognizing that his behavior always being subject to the consequences that will result from his actions. And above all, he has been granted the promise that the final outcome of his good Karma is the reward of ‘Enlightenment,’ or alternatively, of ‘Eternal Life,’ closer to his God.

- This indeed is the promise to every man who seeks Good Karma!

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