DAILY SLICE OF LIFE - The Desire to Achieve

“The will to win, the desire to succeed, the urge to reach full potential; these are the keys that will unlock the door to personal excellence.”

This observation is from the teachings of Confucius, the highly respected ancient Chinese thinker and social philosopher who lived in the 4^th century BC. The statement continues to hold as true today as it did more than 3000 years ago when he enunciated it to his students. It is abundantly clear to any serious thinker, that in any field of human endeavor, the desire to achieve can only reach fruition when it is accompanied by the will to succeed and the ambition to provide one’s best.

Mario Andretti, the internationally acclaimed Italian born American race car driver, considered to be the greatest driver of all times, once made the following statement:

“Though desire is the key to motivation, it is determination and commitment to an unrelenting pursuit of your goal, a commitment to excellence that will enable you to attain the success you seek.”

Merely setting a goal without first having the clear desire to achieve a specific result is no better than running into a brick wall and hoping for success. Without a determined desire to achieve something, any effort or planning will be wasted and the setting of goals will be merely an exercise in futility.

         There is a reason why the great majority of people who have expressed desires to achieve specific goals have failed miserably in doing so, and for continuing to try and fail, without ever recognizing the reason. In most of these instances the reasons for failure are very rarely due to lack of ability, but rather the lack of commitment and dedication to the fulfillment of the desire; where the intent for success is motivated less from the individual’s own hopes and dreams, and more as a consequence of copying or competing with others. Unless there is a deep-seated desire and an accompanying optimism to succeed operating at all time, it is always be no more than a dream.

         Achieving one’s goals successfully will only become a reality not by dreaming or by instant gratification, but by a genuine desire to achieve, the willingness and the perseverance needed to arrive at the goal, and the dedication to completion despite the difficulties and the obstacles. The very gifted Spanish artist and sculptor, Pablo Picasso, considered to be the most influential artist of the 20^th century, placed this in the right context when he advised:

 “Our goals can only be reached through a vehicle of a plan, in which we must fervently believe and upon which we must vigorously act. There is no other route to success.”

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SLICES OF LIFE - The Measure of Honesty

“The true measure of life is not Length, but Honesty.”

         This very astute and accurate observation was made by John Lyly, the 17^th century English author and poet, considered to be among the best of the English playwrights of that time. He was clearly confirming that a truly worthy life is never related to the number of years lived, but rather to the quality of the life lived.

Benjamin Franklin’s famous comment, “honesty is the best policy,” has been used so often at home, in school, at work, on the sports field and in church that we take it for granted, and very rarely do we question its validity or necessity. We give lip service to it whenever we are trying to reassure ourselves or impress others of our good intentions, but yet continue to live our lives and do the things that are convenient for us, rather than correct. When challenged, most people will rather make excuses or hide their true feelings or their intentions rather than admit the truth or accept responsibility. They are willing to do or say anything they think might get them by, not so much to be intentionally deceitful, but rather to protect their egos from being exposed; and equally, their self-image from being compromised.

Honesty, the quality of being honest, is a basic value of human behavior which can be defined in variety of ways depending on how we choose to view it. In terms of human communication, people are considered to be honest when they tell the truth to the best of their knowledge, or do not withhold or alter what they know or think. In respect of behavior, honesty refers to doing the right thing or abstaining from wrong or unacceptable actions, such as stealing or cheating. In essence, honesty incorporates all the concepts of truthfulness and reliability, and must always be an integral part all human thought, words, actions and relationships. The very well respected American religious leader James E. Faust, explained this in simple but highly crystallized clarity when he said:

“Honesty is more than just not lying. It is truth telling, truth speaking, truth living, and truth loving.”

But even in recognizing the validity of this statement, it must never be considered as complete and irreversible. For in the course of living, there are times when unrefined honesty may give rise to pain and suffering even if it is done unintentionally. While any conscious dishonesty is never ever desirable, there are times it is more prudent to withhold or qualify such honesty; especially if such action is in the other’s interest. Therefore to be truly honest, one must strive at all times to be humble and critical of one’s intentions and needs, while also being fully aware of the impact of one’s actions on others.

-In fact, by far the best measure of a person’s rewards for honesty is not in his level of satisfaction but in the effect it has on others.

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SLICES OF LIFE - The True Measure of the Man

“A man is not measured by how he treats success, but rather, how he treats failure.”

         These words have remained deeply imprinted in my mind for almost 70 years since they were told to me in 1950, by my science high school teacher, Rev. Fr. L.J. Graf, C.S.Sp, BA. I was a 17 year old student overflowing with ambition, and unwilling to accept the possibility of failing. He reminded me that  that I will be encountering many boulders in my journey through life, but these were not meant to obstruct me, but to teach me to be stronger. He was a man, for whom I have the highest possible respect and regard, not only as a educator and a role model, but also for the genuine concern and interest he displayed in getting the best from all his students. To him, failing was never an excuse to give up, but a reason to try harder.

         Martin Luther King, Jr. the great African-American civil rights leader was no less motivated when he noted:

“The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands at moments of comfort and convenience, but were he stands at times of challenge and controversy.”

He made this declaration during a speech he delivered shortly before his assassination, at a particularly difficult time of his campaign against racial discrimination. He reminded his followers that while it is easy to enjoy the comforts of success, the true worth of any person lies in the courage he exhibits to stand up for what he believed in the face of failure, rejection and ridicule. Unfortunately, society continues to ignore this truth, and prefers to concentrate on rewarding any kind of success, without due regard to the methods adopted to achieve it, and equally, frowning upon failure, irrespective of the prevailing circumstances.

         The true measure of a man must never be gauged by the conquests he has achieved, or by the honors bestowed. It certainly is not related to notoriety achieved and wealth amassed, or to power acquired, nor are these true reflections of his standing in his community. These are all merely convenient dressings designed to enhance the ego and to propagate the individual’s image in order to achieve more. They may succeed in glorifying that image but have no substantial impact on his true value.

A man’s true value has nothing to do with these external dressings of success, but rather from a deep commitment for doing right at all times. It is always motivated by integrity based on sound values rather than the innate animal instinct of conquer and control. It demands standing firm on principle, when all else is encouraging otherwise, and accepting defeat when the prevailing circumstances warrants it. It expects that all effort be made to ensure that all relationships are founded on trust and mutual respect, and that they continue in an aura of honest sharing and caring. It insists on being true to social and personal responsibilities even when this is not expected and even when it may not be in one’s favor. It expects honesty and truth in all interactions and a willingness to acknowledge gratitude and appreciation when this is appropriate.

It demands obeying the moral norms of the society and resisting the urge to self-satisfaction at the expense of others. Perhaps the best summation I have so far encountered which describes, in very simple but dramatic terms, the true value of any man is contained in the following description by an unknown author:

“The true value of any man is gauged not by how he died, but by how he lived, not by what he gained, but what he gave.”

-Indeed, this statement says it all!

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SLICES OF LIFE - Living with Anger

“Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned.”

These appropriately descriptive words of wisdom were spoken by the great Indian ascetic monk, philosopher, and founder of Buddhism, Lord Buddha, more than 400 years before Christ. They speak clearly and unambiguously to the dangers of living with anger, and are a powerful reminder of the potential pain, suffering and disruption that can be inflicted anyone’s emotional responses.

Seneca, the great Roman philosopher, stoic and thinker, who lived during the time of Christ, was one of the first people to undertake a serious study of anger. Interestingly, the findings he established with regard to its recognition, management and avoidance have remained virtually unchanged over the succeeding centuries of civilization and are as relevant today as they were thousands of years ago. In his famous essay he described anger as a “plague” which has cost the human race more than anything else. He concluded quite appropriately with the following observation:

“Anger, if not restrained, is frequently more hurtful to us than the injury it provoked.”

I cannot think of anyone, including myself, who is not guilty of responding to threatened situations with inappropriate anger over and over again, and then finding that rather than solving the conflict, we had inevitably aggravated the situation. So many times I have responded in anger to situations for which at the time I felt justified, only realizing subsequently that no resolution occurred, and even worse, that the situation was further compromised. It is abundantly clear to me that anger is never productive nor is it ever justifiable or excusable, except in highly selected instances. Everyone loses a great deal more than they ever gain, and the resulting loss can rarely, if ever, be regained. This is a lesson that only few ever bother to take the time to learn.

Lawrence Douglas Wilder, the 1^st African-American to be elected as governor of an American state, Virginia, in 1990, writing about his own experiences in public life, took the time to warn others in clear and definitive terms of the dangers of anger when he recorded:

“Anger does not solve anything. It builds nothing, but it can destroy everything.”

-Indeed, anger is the single most destructive force in human behavior!

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SLICES OF LIFE - Mutual Respect

“We are all one family in the world. Building a community that empowers everyone to attain full potential through each of us respecting each other’s dignity, rights and responsibilities, makes the world a better place to live in.”

These words were spoken by Pope John Paul II, the recently canonized Roman Catholic pontiff, recognized as one of the world’s most successful religious leaders, and a staunch supporter of the achievement of mutual respect among peoples and nations, worldwide. During his tenure he was able to significantly improve the respect and understanding among all the great religions and to reduce the levels of antagonism between nations. He spent his whole life preaching on the need for mutual love and social justice among all people, and the importance of mutual respect to all.

Mutual Respect is the very foundation of every successful relationship. Not only does it ensure current understanding and respect, but it serves as a guide post for subsequent behavior. It is the most fundamental value of any society, and when present, will allow people of all types to understand and respect their differences and their boundaries, create closer bonds, and ensure peaceful co-existence in an atmosphere that is mutually beneficial to all. When decisions are made and actions undertaken in a spirit of mutual respect and responsibility, the results are invariably more satisfying to all, and even more, serve to encourage further trust and satisfaction. In this setting, relations will grow stronger and will inevitably lead to support and respect for each other, and encourage help to the weakest to ensure success to all parties.

Far too often, people have preferred to reject this principle and instead, choose to take different roads guided by personal greed and self-satisfaction. These people are motivated far more by a need for self-protection at all cost, with a total disregard to the needs and aspiration of others. This approach, whether adopted by an individual, group or nation, is doomed to produce continued disagreement, strife, and conflict, and invariably cause more pain and dissatisfaction. This is the single, most important causative factor in most of the current socio-religious conflicts that are raging among the world’s nations and religions. It has resulted in extensive damage to interpersonal relationships of people, and widespread political and inter-religious distrust between nations. In all of them, the root causes are less to do with insurmountable factors, and much more to a selfish desire for personal gain and accumulation, and an accompanying unwillingness to respect and understand the needs of others.

Mutual respect does not require nor does it insist that there must always be common agreement on all things every time. It will only survive however, when there is goodwill among all parties, a level of trust, understanding and respect for different needs and boundaries, and a genuine and a sincere effort to accommodate them. Whenever this happens, there is always an aura of harmony and a sense of loving, caring and mutual enhancement that encompasses all the people concerned. As the internationally respected Buddhist Leader   His Holiness Tenzin Gyatso, the 14th Dalai Lama so very wisely noted:

“The message of love and compassion will travel far and wide if all who follow a spiritual path work together in harmony and mutual respect”

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SLICES OF LIFE - The Measure of Honesty

“The true measure of life is not Length, but Honesty.”

         This very astute and accurate observation was made by John Lyly, the 17^th century English author and poet, considered to be among the best of the English playwrights of that time. He was clearly confirming that a truly worthy life is never related to the number of years lived, but rather to the quality of the life lived.

Benjamin Franklin’s famous comment, “honesty is the best policy,” has been used so often at home, in school, at work, on the sports field and in church that we take it for granted, and very rarely do we question its validity or necessity. We give lip service to it whenever we are trying to reassure ourselves or impress others of our good intentions, but yet continue to live our lives and do the things that are convenient, rather than correct. When challenged, most people will rather make excuses or hide their true feelings or their intentions rather than admit the truth or accept responsibility. They are willing to do or say anything they think might get them by, not so much to be intentionally deceitful, but rather to protect their egos from being exposed and equally, their self-image being compromised.

Honesty, the quality of being honest, is a basic value of human behavior which is definable in variety of ways depending on how it is viewed. In terms of human communication, people are considered to be honest when they tell the truth to the best of their knowledge, or do not withhold or alter what they know or think. In respect of behavior, honesty refers to doing the right thing or abstaining from wrong or unacceptable actions, such as stealing or cheating. In essence, honesty incorporates all the concepts of truthfulness and reliability, and should always be an integral part all human thought, words, actions and relationships. The very well respected American religious leader James E. Faust, explained this in a simple but highly crystallized clarity when he said:

“Honesty is more than just lying. It is truth telling, truth speaking, truth living, and truth loving.”

But even in recognizing the validity of this statement, it must never be considered as complete and irreversible. For in the course of living, there are times when unrefined honesty may give rise to pain and suffering even if it is done unintentionally. While any conscious dishonesty is never ever desirable, there are times it is more prudent to withhold or qualify such honesty especially if such action is in the other’s interest. Therefore to be truly honest, one must strive at all times to be humble and critical of one’s intentions and needs, while also being fully aware of the impact of one’s actions on others.

-In fact, by far the best measure of a person’s rewards for honesty is not in his level of satisfaction but in the effect it has on others.

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SLICE OF LIFE - In Search of Freedom

“Freedom is secured not by the fulfilling of men’s desires, but by the removal of desire.”

This wonderful observation on man’s personal freedom was recorded by the highly acclaimed Greek stoic philosopher Epictetus, recognized as one of ancient Greece’s most respected and honored social philosophers. He firmly believed that all human beings must be held responsible for their own actions, which they can control through vigorous control of their desires. This belief has continued unchanged over the succeeding centuries of man’s existence on earth even to the present.

Freedom is never meant to imply the unlimited expression of personal desires irrespective of their effect on others. And it certainly does not imply a free license to think or say or do whatever one chooses without due consideration to the prevailing circumstances. Freedom is not a right bestowed upon an individual by virtue of birth, position or ability, to act or not to act as he pleases. Freedom should never be equated to survival of the fittest or control over the weakest, nor is it ever related to success or domination. These are all merely excuses designed to enhance the ego and reinforce power and desire.

Freedom in fact is all a total state of mind. It exists only when the mind is free of fear, or of any compulsion or risks that undermine living. It is not necessarily related to success, achievements or recognition, nor is it a reflection of one’s aspirations, ambitions or educational achievements. These are all merely manifestations of satisfaction of the ego and have nothing to do the fundamental desire for freedom of spirit. Freedom is in fact, a deep desire to pursue one’s own hopes and expectations in one’s own way, so long as that effort does not deprive others of their own, or impede their efforts to obtain their own.

Freedom demands acceptance of responsibility for the way the world is viewed and also, how that view affects one’s behavior in the world. If successful, this results in freeing oneself from the prevailing external circumstances and becoming master of oneself and no longer slave to events beyond control. This freedom, one of hope, thought, expression and action, is an innate right of every person to share. But it can be easily lost or abandoned by inexperience, or trampled upon by another person or circumstance. True freedom begins from deep within and always with an expression of inner satisfaction. But this is not strictly, as so many believe, the right to do whatever one pleases so long as it does not affect others, but rather doing those things that are right, even when doing so is at the expense of personal desires. As the great South African freedom fighter Nelson Mandela so very wisely observed:

“For to be free, is not merely to cast off your chain, but to live in a way that respects and enhances the freedom of others.”

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