“A man is not measured by how he treats success,
but rather, how he treats failure.”
These words have remained deeply imprinted in my mind for almost 70 years since they were told to me in 1950, by my science high school teacher, Rev. Fr. L.J. Graf, C.S.Sp, BA. I was a
17 year old student overflowing with ambition, and unwilling to accept the
possibility of failing. He reminded me that that I will be
encountering many boulders in my journey through life, but these were not meant to obstruct me, but to
teach me to be stronger. He was a man, for whom I have the highest possible
respect and regard, not only as a educator and a role model, but also for the
genuine concern and interest he displayed in getting the best from all his students.
To him, failing was never an excuse to
give up, but a reason to try harder.
Martin
Luther King, Jr. the great
African-American civil rights leader was no less motivated when he noted:
“The ultimate measure of a man is not where he
stands at moments of comfort and convenience, but were he stands at times of
challenge and controversy.”
He made this declaration
during a speech he delivered shortly before his assassination, at a
particularly difficult time of his campaign against racial discrimination. He
reminded his followers that while it is easy to enjoy the comforts of success,
the true worth of any person lies in the courage he exhibits to stand up for
what he believed in the face of failure, rejection and ridicule. Unfortunately,
society continues to ignore this truth, and prefers to concentrate on rewarding any kind of
success, without due regard to the methods adopted to achieve it, and equally,
frowning upon failure, irrespective of the prevailing circumstances.
The true measure of a man must never be gauged by the
conquests he has achieved, or by the honors bestowed. It certainly is not
related to notoriety achieved and wealth amassed, or to power acquired, nor are these
true reflections of his standing in his community. These are all merely
convenient dressings designed to enhance the ego and to propagate the
individual’s image in order to achieve more. They may succeed in glorifying
that image but have no substantial impact on his true value.
A
man’s true value has nothing to do with these external dressings of success,
but rather from a deep commitment for doing right at all times. It is always
motivated by integrity based on sound values rather than the innate animal
instinct of conquer and control. It demands standing firm on principle, when
all else is encouraging otherwise, and accepting defeat when the prevailing circumstances
warrants it. It expects that all effort be made to ensure that all
relationships are founded on trust and mutual respect, and that they continue
in an aura of honest sharing and caring. It insists on being true to social and
personal responsibilities even when this is not expected and even when it may
not be in one’s favor. It expects honesty and truth in all interactions and a
willingness to acknowledge gratitude and appreciation when this is appropriate.
It
demands obeying the moral norms of the society and resisting the urge to
self-satisfaction at the expense of others. Perhaps the best summation I have
so far encountered which describes, in very simple but dramatic terms, the true
value of any man is contained in the following description by an unknown
author:
“The true value of any man is gauged not by how he
died, but by how he lived, not by what he gained, but what he gave.”
-Indeed, this statement says it all!
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