A CHRISTMAS STORY - A Story of Faith, Hope and Belief

Nancy sat quietly on her kitchen chair. Her face screamed out for the many problems that seemed to be swirling about her, and with only 2 days remaining before Christmas day there seem to be little hope of resolution.

She knew only a miracle could save this, her special day when her family will be coming together, as they do each year, to celebrate together, pray together, to thank God together and to share their good fortunes together. Indeed, this was the very time that the whole world, Christian and non-Christian alike, come together with faith and with goodwill to pray for love and peace to all.

The last few years Nancy thought, were good ones for her and her family. All of her children had been doing well in their work and with their lives. They were contented with what they were able to achieve during the previous year and they all looked forward to more of the same in the coming year. These Christmas Eve gatherings were always happy and joyous events as everyone gathered around the Christmas tree in the living room.

 Nancy's Christmas routine began each year on the day after Thanksgiving when he will visit Jeremiah’s lot and carefully select a 6 ft. tree. She will then take it home, set it up in the living room and then slowly and painstakingly decorate it with all those ornaments, figurines and crystal pieces that she had procured over the years and very carefully stored for this occasion. Each one had its own special meaning for her and her family, and she would readily recall the story for each as they were hung on the tree.

         After she had completed decorating the tree to her satisfaction, she would finish off by placing her “guardian angel” on the very top. And after this was done, on every occasion, she would always close her eyes and take just a moment to recall that fateful day more than 30 year ago when she found her ‘angel’ in the Target store on the day after Christmas. It apparently had been discarded and thrown out with the thrash on the floor.  But as Nancy looked at her, the angel actually appeared to be shining even brighter than the sun itself. She still swears that the angel smiled at her and flashed her wings as soon as Nancy held her as if to suggest that both belonged to each other. The angel has been with Nancy from that day onward!

         But there was more to this story. On the way home, her baby son, Jim who was only 5 years old at the time, became desperately ill as they drove along the crowded highway on a dismal, stormy day. She was alone with her 4 young children, all if whom were as frightened as she was. She was desperate, almost panic stricken feeling the world closing on her.  All she could think of doing was to pull off the road, and pray that some kind guardian angel will come to help her.

         As she came to a stop on the side of the road, she remembers engaging the flashing lights, closing her eyes, and praying for a miracle to help her out of this dilemma. On opening her eyes again, she swears she saw the little angel smiling at her so reassuringly that she felt safe and secure. At that very moment, there was a knock at the window and an offer to help. It was from a doctor who had seen the flashing lights and stopped to help. From then onward for more than 3 decades, Nancy knew that her guardian angel was always with her, ready to find help if ever help was needed.

         For all the subsequent years that followed, the family prospered, the children grew up, left home, went to college, obtained degrees and went to work. The home was, like so many other homes, full of love, joy and happiness, interspersed with short moments of illnesses, conflicts and occasionally, disappointments, that were quickly resolved. Through all these years her Christmas festivities remained unchanged, and there was always a fully decorated Christmas tree with the Angel guardian proudly standing on top, overlooking everyone and everything.

But everyone knew that this year was going to be quite different, for as fate will have it, the arrows of misfortune had struck each one, on more than one occasion, and the resulting disappointments, anguish and pain could be felt in every word spoken, and every sigh elicited. Each one of the children nursed their own wounds and try as they could, the effects just radiated to all:

Jim, her young son who, until recently overflowed with confidence and looked forward to the day soon when he will be able to procure his Ferrari and take her for a spin, is now fighting for his survival as a result of the draconian restrictions laid down by the current economy.

 Linda, the eldest daughter whose meteoric rise in the company’s hierarchy has been suddenly stunted by a new short-sighted administrator, determined to bring in his own people.

Lucy, the determined, confident professional who has suddenly been burdened by events that were well beyond her control or her expertise, and for the first time was feeling threatened and vulnerable.

Lara, the youngest daughter, who lived all her life as a free spirit traveling and doing what she pleased, as she pleased, and always with outstanding success, found herself locked into a regimen which was stifling her imagination.

It was against this background that Nancy, burdened by a heavy heart, set about her Christmas tree preparations. Her routine was unchanged. She visited Jeremiah’s, chose her tree and brought it home. With the help of Jim, she brought out her decorations and meticulously placed them on the tree, making sure that each one was readily visible and identifiable. All the while, as was her habit over all these years, she played Christmas songs for all to hear, and to set the mood for the season of happiness and goodwill.

She was in the process of fitting her angel on the top of the completed tree when something happened that blew her away and sent her mind reeling back to that unforgettable day more than 30 years ago following her very first encounter with her guardian angel.

The mood was somber as she listened to Luther Vandross,’ 1995 masterpiece: “This is Christmas Day,” and to his advice which seemed to be directed to her. He began the song with these words:

“Don’t be discouraged; don’t be dismayed.
There's hope for all in this world,

 Cause this is Christmas day.
Say A little prayer for the world.”

At that very moment as she stepped down to admire her work, she noticed that the angel, now safely in place, seem to have come alive again before her very eyes. There was an explosion of colors as her wings lit up and seemed to move with them. She was certain that the angel, with her sweet, serene smile was looking directly at her and telling her, as she had done before, that all will be well.

 And, like that previous occasion more than 3 decades ago, Nancy felt a wave of confidence and reassurance, that all will indeed be well. For her special guardian angel had promised this; and she has never failed to deliver. This was all she needed to be convinced that in her home, as in the past years, another Christmas miracle was about to take place, and that the whole world will be rejoicing the Birth if The Savior.

 And as every one gathered around the tree on that wonderful night to share in the glad tidings and to look to the new year with renewed hope, Nancy was moved to sing out the final verse of Vandross song:

“This is Christmas Let the world sing.
Let our soul begin to heal,

Hallelujah this is Christmas,
And with love we can begin today “

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DAILY SLICES OF LIFE - The Poison of Jealousy

“Jealousy is the jaundice of the soul.”

This very insightful statement by John Dryden, one of England’s greatest 17^th century poet and literary masters, who was honored with the title of poet-laureate of the century, speaks clearly and definitively to the effect of Jealousy on an individual. By any measure, the presence of jealousy is as destructive and as life-threatening to the individual as any poison he may consume, or any disease he may acquire. If left unchecked, it slowly and deliberately destroys the person’s psyche, in much the same way that disease or poison destroys the body and saps life away.

         We have all in one way or another, and at times even quite unwittingly, succumbed to the subtle power of jealous intentions on more times than we care to remember. On some occasions, especially following a particularly unhappy experience, or when we find ourselves threatened and unable to respond in the way we would have preferred to respond, we tend to instinctively react in jealous ways. whenever this happens, and for whatever the reason, we risk going down an all consuming pathway that will ultimately devour and destroy our self-esteem and our relationship with others, without ever achieving resolution or satisfaction. Without question, no human emotion can do, or has done, as much damage to people and to the environment as the scourge of unresolved jealousy. This fact has been long recognized in most cultures, and is reflected in their literature. The Arabs for example, make frequent reference to a proverb which explains in clear terms the complex nature and the power of jealousy among the other human emotions:

“Love sees sharply, hatred sees even more sharp, but jealousy sees the sharpest; for it is love and hate at the same time”

         Without any doubt, of all the emotional expressions, jealousy is almost certainly is one of the most confusing, frustrating, and very unproductive one. Unlike many of the others, the disappointment and the pain that result from unresolved jealousy will linger on for a long time. And they are often accompanied by undercurrents of anger and suspicion which tend to follow, and complicate any hope of resolution. Psychologists generally believe that jealousy develops as a result of an internal crisis of trust in oneself or in others, forcing him to resort to actions that are well beyond comfort behavior. These responses are essentially innate defensive reactions, which have developed through evolution, to ensure the ultimate survival and continuation of species. They are basically irrational fears of losing someone or something that are instinctual and deeply embedded within us, and once released are very difficult to control or contain. They can readily destroy inter-personal trust and relationships, and can give rise to severe reactive emotional conditions and behaviors.

         Although jealousy and envy are often used synonymously, the there are significant differences in their causes and application. The former relates to the fear of losing something or someone with whom there was some emotional attachment, and the latter refers to the resentment arising from an inability of obtaining an object desired, and not attainable. In both these instances, the primary responses are made up of a complex mixture of psychological and physical symptoms that include sadness, anger, depression, anxiety and feelings of unworthiness, as well as a varying number of physical symptoms. The secondary effects can be even more damaging and depend heavily on the responses of the people and the environment to his behavior. But whatever the etiology however, there is no doubt that the long-term consequences of uncontrolled or uncorrected envy or jealousy can inevitably lead to significant personality destruction, distrust of others, social isolation, and even to violence in extreme situations.

         To be sure, there are special occasions, and under special conditions when jealousy can in fact, be helpful even as it was meant to create negative results. It can at times provide an unexpectedly powerful positive connotation, especially if it serves to alert the individual to question the impending action, and to force him to seek corrective steps. In these instances, instead of triggering negative responses, the jealous reaction can be used as a catalyst to search and find reasons and intentions, and as a stimulus, to try harder to find an acceptable solution. Examples of these are seen frequently, especially in those who take the time to question their motives for the actions rather than giving in to them. Many of the very successful people in the world owe a great deal to being able to harness their feelings of jealousy and to spur themselves to try harder, rather than giving up in anger or disgust.

         Tragically however, for the great majority of victims, unresolved jealousy, in one form or another, tend to play a major role in the causation and the continuation of much of the social strife and conflicts that continues to destroy so much of the world’s societies and remains one of society’s greatest evils. And yet unfortunately, irrespective of all our bad experience, the admonitions of our parents and teachers, our political and religions leaders, we continue to allow jealousy to be the strongest and most potent of all human emotions. And it continues to exert its negative force on all of humanity, causing untold pain and suffering to individuals, to communities and between nations.

The world has yet to learn that jealousy is indeed man’s greatest poison to his humanity and to his image. The Apostle James in the Holy Bible in chapter 3, verse 16 spoke clearly and precise to this, when he recorded:

“For where jealousy and selfish ambition exists, there will be disorder and every vile practice.”

-The world needs to urgently wake up to the rapid proliferation of this poison in its many forms, before it becomes too late to save it, and all who live on it, from certain destrucion.

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DAILY SLICE OF LIFE - Finding The True Self

“The only ones among you who will be really happy, are the ones who will have sought and found how to serve.

                    These immortal words were recorded more than a century ago by Dr. Albert Schweitzer, the incomparable Alsatian Polymath, as he explained why he chose to spend his life in the manner he had done. He was a brilliant man who had gained honor and respect in all of Europe, as an accomplished theologian, organist, author, philosopher, physician, and Nobel Laureate. In 1913, at the age of 30 yrs, he chose to travel to the heart of the African continent where he established a hospital in Lambarene, Gabon. There he planned to provide healing services to those who needed it, as he brought the holy words of the Gospel to the people. To this end, he gave up all his positions and glory, to devote the rest of his life to spreading the Gospel by personal example, and by serving those who needed his help most. He had indeed found his true self in the serving of others who were in genuine need.

         For as long as man has inhabited this earth, he has sought to determine the nature and the source of his true self without ever arriving at any definitive answers. This should not be a surprise, since it is physically impossible to demonstrate, or to measure one’s true self. Like so many other phenomena in nature, including light, heat, and sound, we can only know it by its effects on us. Philosophers often describe the true self as the soul of the individual; the fundamental nucleus of the person, freed of all the external debris that makes up living. They place it as the true center of life, the root of all actions, and the source of our identity. It emanates from the person’s inborn personality, and is the main vehicle that deals with such vital traits as the ability to accept or reject, to like or dislike, to know right from wrong, and to show feelings of joy and sadness. And to the world, it projects who we are, what we value, and what we can offer.

         Far too many of us, spend all our lives never ever finding our true, authentic selves. And we do so because of our unwillingness to risk the trauma and the pain that can result from finding a different or unexpected outcome. Instead, we prefer to choose the easy way, to listen to our pseudo-self, with its overindulgence and its self-centered goals designed to bolster the ego. And we do this while ignoring truth and reality, and rejecting any attempt to accept personal blame or responsibility. This indeed is humanity’s major failing, the most prominent cause of the wanton misunderstanding and distrust that permeate the society, and the reason for so much hate, conflict and disharmony among people, societies and nations. Indeed, without a true and clear knowledge of ourselves, we are more likely to be wrong with everyone else. This was what he intended to impart to his audience when William Shakespeare, the great English poet and playwright, in his greatest classic tragedy, Hamlet, recorded in these dramatic words:

“This above all: To thine own self, be true.

And it must follow as the night, the day.

Thou canst be false to any man.”

         The effort needed to find oneself demands an honest, unselfish undertaking to understand the root of everything we do in our life. To be truthful, it must reflect our self-identity, self-value and our self-fulfillment and must include, above all else, a clear and unequivocal understanding of our life’s meaning. Without this purpose deeply instilled in our psyche, we will be incapable of successfully undertaking the process of exposing and shedding those layers that do not serve us in our lives, and do not reflect who we really are. Our true self is a permanent and indestructible focus which, if allowed unhindered freedom, will bring out the best of our humanity. It is the inner voice that understands our physical and psychological needs, that separates past from present experiences, and can confidently express who you are. To be ruled by the self, is the only way to be at peace with the world around, with all you think or do, and with all that happens for or against you. In the end, the ‘self’ will never be measured by how successful you are, but only how contented you are!

         One of the greatest obstacles to finding and living your true self is without doubt, in the trying to live in, and conform to the needs of society. By its very nature, any society will need to establish and maintain uniformity and create rules to which everyone is required to conform. The individual members are discouraged from being who they really are, and encouraged to ‘fit in’. Since the image of one’s ‘self’ is like the clothes one chooses to wear, society insists on using their clothes to fit as you can, to ensure there is conformity. They are not concerned about the effect on the individual, but only on its own survival. Without doubt, Society is happier when you remain in the ‘current self’ than when you insist on your ‘true self.’

The result of this is that the few who insist on questioning or choosing the true self, are subjected to accusations of selfishness or questions of stability, and generally ignored by the rest of society. In this respect, this was perhaps the reason why Bruce Lee, the highly acclaimed American-Chinese martial arts champion, film actor, and a respected philosopher in his own right, was advocating when he advised:

“In order to realize our true self, we must be willing to live without being dependent upon the opinion of others.”

-No greater advice can ever be given to anyone who chooses to follow the paths of the many contented people who chose to do so, and turned their backs away from conforming to, and pleasing others.

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SLICES OF LIFE - Living with Superstition

“Superstition is the poison of a thinking mind.”

         In this world, dominated by endless uncertainty, and equally overwhelmed by interminable, conflicting ideas and beliefs, where ignorance, poor reasoning and lack of confidence are accepted, often without challenge, Superstition remains deeply embedded in people’s psyche, and often override logical and rational thinking. The above quotation, by an Unknown Author, gives credence to this observation and firmly confirms the poisonous effect that superstition exerts on the mind of a susceptible individual.

         Superstition is described as a belief or practice that is considered to be unnatural or supernatural, and intended to produce beneficial actions of thought, behavior, and results. It is a singularly human failing, and is always based on irrational or widely held beliefs, originating from a background of misunderstanding or ignorance of science or causality. They most often present as strong beliefs in such intangibles as fate, magic, and fear of the unknown, and favor such reasons as luck, magic and ritualistic behavior. The most potent ones are founded primarily on popular spiritual beliefs and interpretations, and deal with predicting the future. By their very nature, they tend to completely ignore and reject knowledge and reason as being not applicable, and show more trust on past experiences, and prevailing belief structures.

         The tendency to superstitious behavior is a recognized human response. It is a deeply embedded survival instinct in the human mind appearing especially in situations in which there is uncertainty or lack of confidence. Superstition does not take hold in any situation where confidence is high, and satisfaction and reward are present. However when confidence is lacking, especially where survival is involved, an instinctual search for some external source in triggered to provide reinforcement, and regain confidence. In such situations, people are more likely to turn to abnormal sources in the hope of reinforcing their insecurities, and increasing the chance of succeeding. The belief is that the external source will provide the extra ingredient needed, and that without this help, failure is inevitable. This action, once executed, will instill confidence in the person, especially if it is accompanied by rituals and designated activities and results occur. Once this has happened, they will then be encouraged to assign all their successes to the external force, and blame any failure to inappropriate or wrong beliefs.

The psychological processes associated with the expression of suspicious beliefs and behaviors are well documented and can be explained by the brain’s tendency to dual processing. Human beings use two separate streams of thought in finding solutions, one being slow, logical and rational, and the other, impulsive and instinctive. When faced with a problem, the individual can react impulsively and find any reason, however illogical, to escape, or alternatively, take the time for reason and logic to find the answer, and then respond in an appropriate manner. Often, the impulsive response will be recognized as an error, but they will choose to ignore any corrective action because of their false belief. Constant repetitions will inevitably become imprinted in the person’s habit pattern, and ultimately passed on from generation to generation.

Superstition and Faith are often assumed to be similar and to be associated in many ways. But this assumption is very far from the truth, since there are fundamental differences which render them completely unrelated. The former is always based on false belief and doctrine, irrational fears, ignorance and the use of external forces, rituals, and omens to ward off evil and to bring success. Faith, on the other hand, is always based on good sound and reasonable thought, established from confidence, and arrived at by understanding and logic. Genuine Faith readily coexists with correct reasoning and is never in conflict with good, sensible actions. Suspicion, on the other hand, based on irrational beliefs, could therefore not stand the test of knowledge, reasoning and logic. This difference was very clearly illustrated and demonstrated in a description by an Unknown Author when he noted:

“Superstition, if unchecked, can set the whole world aflame. But only Understanding and logic can provide the Faith to quench the fire.”

            Superstition thrives in the presence of anxiety, low esteem, lack of confidence, and fears of uncertainty, and its promise of predictable success. It provides comfort and security especially at such a low cost as repeating a word or action or belief. This indeed is why it has continued to grow in popularity despite all the obvious evidence pointing to its uselessness. Yet despite this, by far the great majority of these responses will do little or no harm to people, and in fact can and do play a reassuring role in their lives. But unfortunately, in far too many of these, especially among the most vulnerable cases, these actions become habits and ultimately develop into more serious, life-consuming repetitive thinking and activity. Many of these unfortunate people develop severe, debilitating psychiatric disorders such as phobias, obsessive-compulsive behavior, anxiety and depression.

         In the end, although superstitious thinking and actions are essentially irrational and unproductive in the great majority of instances, there are no easy or standard approaches available to correct them. The only truly effective remedy is by increasing knowledge and understanding and by discouraging the unfounded beliefs and prognostications. This will always be an uphill battle, not only because of natural human susceptibility, but also, as a result of the constant desire by many to control and to dominate. In this respect, the only real answer revolves around the individual and his needs for his living. As the following quotation from an Unknown Author so wisely advised:

“Live a good life for the good of it, and not out of fear of punishment, or promise of reward.”

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