“Jealousy is the
jaundice of the soul.”
This very
insightful statement by John Dryden,
one of England’s greatest 17th century poet and literary masters,
who was honored with the title of poet-laureate of the century, speaks clearly
and definitively to the effect of
Jealousy on an individual. By any measure, the presence of jealousy is as
destructive and as life-threatening to the individual as any poison he may
consume, or any disease he may acquire. If left unchecked, it slowly and
deliberately destroys the person’s psyche, in much the same way that disease or
poison destroys the body and saps life away.
We have all in one way or another, and at times even quite
unwittingly, succumbed to the subtle power of jealous intentions on more times
than we care to remember. On some occasions, especially following a
particularly unhappy experience, or when we find ourselves threatened and
unable to respond in the way we would have preferred to respond, we tend to instinctively
react in jealous ways. whenever this happens, and for whatever the reason, we
risk going down an all consuming pathway
that will ultimately devour and destroy our self-esteem and our relationship
with others, without ever achieving resolution or satisfaction. Without question,
no human emotion can do, or has done, as much damage to people and to the environment
as the scourge of unresolved jealousy. This fact has been long recognized in
most cultures, and is reflected in their literature. The Arabs for example,
make frequent reference to a proverb which explains in clear terms the complex
nature and the power of jealousy among the other human emotions:
“Love sees
sharply, hatred sees even more sharp, but jealousy sees the sharpest; for it is
love and hate at the same time”
Without any doubt, of all the emotional
expressions, jealousy is almost certainly is one of the most confusing,
frustrating, and very unproductive one. Unlike many of the others, the disappointment
and the pain that result from unresolved jealousy will linger on for a long
time. And they are often accompanied by undercurrents of anger and suspicion which
tend to follow, and complicate any hope of resolution. Psychologists generally
believe that jealousy develops as a result of an internal crisis of trust in
oneself or in others, forcing him to resort to actions that are well beyond comfort
behavior. These responses are essentially innate defensive reactions, which
have developed through evolution, to ensure the ultimate survival and
continuation of species. They are basically irrational fears of losing someone
or something that are instinctual and deeply embedded within us, and once
released are very difficult to control or contain. They can readily destroy
inter-personal trust and relationships, and can give rise to severe reactive
emotional conditions and behaviors.
Although jealousy and envy are
often used synonymously, the there are significant differences in their causes
and application. The former relates to the fear
of losing something or someone with whom there was some emotional attachment,
and the latter refers to the resentment
arising from an inability of obtaining an object desired, and not attainable. In both these instances, the primary responses are
made up of a complex mixture of psychological and physical symptoms that include
sadness, anger, depression, anxiety and feelings of unworthiness, as well as a
varying number of physical symptoms. The secondary effects can be even more
damaging and depend heavily on the responses of the people and the environment
to his behavior. But whatever
the etiology however, there is no doubt that the long-term consequences of
uncontrolled or uncorrected envy or jealousy can inevitably lead to significant
personality destruction, distrust of others, social isolation, and even to
violence in extreme situations.
To be sure, there are special occasions, and under special
conditions when jealousy can in fact, be helpful even as it was meant to create
negative results. It can at times provide an unexpectedly powerful positive
connotation, especially if it serves to alert the individual to question the
impending action, and to force him to seek corrective steps. In these
instances, instead of triggering negative responses, the jealous reaction can
be used as a catalyst to search and find reasons and intentions, and as a stimulus,
to try harder to find an acceptable solution. Examples of these are seen frequently,
especially in those who take the time to question their motives for the actions
rather than giving in to them. Many of the very successful people in the world
owe a great deal to being able to harness their feelings of jealousy and to
spur themselves to try harder, rather than giving up in anger or disgust.
Tragically
however, for the great majority of victims, unresolved jealousy, in one form or
another, tend to play a major role in the causation and the continuation of
much of the social strife and conflicts that continues to destroy so much of
the world’s societies and remains one of society’s greatest evils. And yet unfortunately,
irrespective of all our bad experience, the admonitions of our parents and
teachers, our political and religions leaders, we continue to allow jealousy to
be the strongest and most potent of all human emotions. And it continues to
exert its negative force on all of humanity, causing untold pain and suffering
to individuals, to communities and between nations.
The
world has yet to learn that jealousy is indeed man’s greatest poison to his
humanity and to his image. The Apostle
James in the Holy Bible in chapter 3, verse 16 spoke clearly and
precise to this, when he recorded:
“For where jealousy and selfish
ambition exists, there will be disorder and every vile practice.”
-The world needs to urgently wake up to the rapid
proliferation of this poison in its many forms, before it becomes too late to save it, and all who live on it, from certain destrucion.
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