DAILY SLICES OF LIFE - The Concept of Beauty

 

“Beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder.”

         This clear and unambiguous declaration was originally expressed by Plato, one of the greatest of the ancient Greek philosophers, in the 4^th century BCE. For as long as man has kept records, the perception and meaning of beauty has been the subject of endless arguments which, even after the passage of several millennia, remain unresolved. Many of the Greek philosophers, including Socrates and Aristotle, believed that perception of beauty was strictly subjective, so that different people will have different concepts, depending on their own interpretations. But there were others, mainly the Stoic and Epicurean philosophers of the period, including Seneca and Epictetus, who were convinced that the concept of beauty was a function of both Subjective perception (eurythmy), as well as Objective appearance (symmetry); the actual physical attributes of the subject. Similar interests in understanding beauty were also in existence in other ancient cultures. The ancient Chinese, tended to support Plato’s subjective approach as evidenced the view expressed by Confucius:

 “Everything has beauty, but not everyone sees it.

         Over the succeeding centuries, the debate of whether or not the concept of beauty is subjective, objective or both, has continued to rage on unabated. It involved people of every generation and culture, without ever reaching consensus. This should not be a surprise since the perception of beauty means different things to different people, and objectively, it is impossible to ever arrive at standard and universal values. It is left to each individual to be his own arbiter and to hold strong views when challenged. Because of this, we often encounter situations where one person finds an object attractive and appealing, and another person may find it ugly, boring or uninteresting. This dichotomy is very clearly implied in the following very popular old Arab saying:

              “Even the monkey, in the eyes of his mother,

               is more beautiful than a gazelle”

         Psychologically, the perception of Beauty, like that of the arts and taste, is considered a matter of aesthetics and as such, cannot be accurately quantified. The term is most commonly used to describe those objects that provide perceptions of satisfaction and pleasure, and produce deep feelings of joy and fulfillment. These feelings are precipitated by the body’s release of catecholamines which will often linger on long after the experience is over. But, as the developmental psychologist insist, the perception of beauty is not merely an exercise of emotional satisfaction. It plays a very subtle and fundamental role in choosing the next generation. By identifying and choosing beauty, which implies symmetry, nature is in fact, securing a better quality of offspring.

          The very highly regarded 18^th century Scottish philosopher and essayist, David Hume, tried to explain his view on beauty in a balanced, subjective manner when he commented:

“Beauty is no quality in things themselves. It exists only in the mind which contemplate them; and each mind will perceive a different beauty.”

He was confirming the fact that beauty has no fixed identifiable characteristic of its own, but is a reflection of the particular mind’s perception. His assessment has received almost unanimous acceptance worldwide, and continues to be as relevant today as it was in the past. This for example, will explain why there is such a widely different spectrum in the standard of acceptance of the female beauty requirements among the several racial groups. The Caucasian sees her beauty in her figure, form and appearance, the Chinese look for delicate features and pure, unblemished skin. The Arabs instead, are more concerned with the lightness of color and smoothness of skin, while the African appears to favor darker color of skin and prominent facial features, and the inhabitants of the Indian continent are more readily moved by facial features embellished with adornments. Indeed, from any point of reference, beauty is but a reflection of what the mind’s eye chooses to perceive.

          The Lebanese-American poet and author, Khalil Gibran, described his response to beauty in exquisite simplicity when he noted:

“Beauty is not in the face.

Beauty is a light in the heart.”

But in saying this, he was drawing attention to the significant differences between seeing beauty and feeling beauty. The former refers to the objective appearance such as color, form and stature, while the latter relates to the inner subjective responses which create deep emotional responses that cannot be seen. This inner beauty is reflected in our whole being, provides the feelings of wellness, induces a sense of positivity and self-confidence, and leaves a feeling of joy shining inside.

          Even more than this, Paulo Coelho, the internationally recognized, Brazilian lyricist and novelist, in commenting on the effect of inner beauty, observed:

 “Outer beauty is inner beauty made visible; and it manifests itself in light that flows in the eyes.”

He was adamant that the inner beauty of any object should always be considered the true beauty. The outer form and appearance may vary depending on its external situation and the individual’s reception and interpretation, but the true beauty comes from within, a reflection of his inner self. Before we chose to grant the privilege of deciding an object deserves the title of beautiful, we must always determine whether it is beautiful because it gives delight, or whether it gives delight because it is beautiful. He emphatically chooses the latter, for the feelings begin deep within the person’s spirit. Beauty therefore must not only be seen, but it must be felt!

          Beauty, therefore, can never be entirely subjective, for if this was the case, then when everyone automatically agree that an object is beautiful, then the word will have no more meaning then a common approval. But beauty is more than this, since it requires the involvement of the subconscious mind and the inner spirit working together to create it. A perfect rose or a dramatic sunset will remain only perfect objects if seen through the eyes of a camera’s lens. But they become beautiful because they instill in the person a physical and emotional response that can only be experienced in the moment but not  reproduced. Helen Keller, the gifted and incomparable American author and social activist, who overcame a debilitating loss of speech and hearing during childhood, to become a highly respected and successful public figure, speaking from a very personal and deeply sensitive position, described this feeling in these emotional terms:

 “The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched. They must be felt in the heart.”

 

This indeed, is the true concept of beauty. Although it not readily describable, nor can it be categorized, visualized or validated, It is nevertheless, one of nature’s ways of ensuring the continuation and strengthening of the species.

 

 

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DAILY SLICES OF LIFE - The Wisdom of Saving

 

“A penny saved is a penny earned.”

         This very old English proverb is often falsely attributed to Benjamin Franklin, the remarkable 18th century American polymath who successfully combined statesmanship with such diverse careers as science, invention, publication, business, philosophy and philanthropy.  He used it for the first time in 1758 in his informative publication, The Poor Richard Almanac, to underline the importance of saving as an integral part of living a good life. He was undoubtedly the most talented of the Founding Fathers, and a major contributor to the preparation and the acceptance of the Declaration of Independence. More than a century later in 1863, he was honored by the nation with the placing of his image on a one cent coin together with an imprint of the quotation.

         There is also an equally appropriate old Arabic proverb on saving, which was originally passed on to me by my brother-in-law, Elias Faris.  It has always impressed me because of its absolute clarity and sound wisdom. It advises:

 “Save your white money for those black days.”

  In saying this, it recognizes the truth that everything in life is subject to the fundamental changing laws of nature, fluctuating from favorable to unfavorable, and that our survival is often directly dependent on our ability to use the benefits derived in the favorable stages of our life to protect ourselves in times of need. Clearly, by actively setting aside a share of these benefits, we are taking steps to protect ourselves in the times that were black and less favorable. This indeed, is the fundamental reason for initiating a savings ideology. It goes well beyond the need to create an emergency fund to weather the storms in the future. It instead, can be viewed as a form of self-care and self-respect and as a reflection of the way we honor our future life.

         The importance of instilling a culture of saving in the life of every community can never be understated. In fact, with such a long list of tried and tested benefits at every stage of life, it is undoubtedly one of the soundest habits to develop and to pass on. It is the single, most important habit which when consistently put into practice, ensures greater peace of mind, freedom to do as you choose, and plan more confidently for the future. A sound savings plan offers security and stress relief from unexpected situations, and the sense of freedom that comes from being in control of one’s life. In addition, successful savings planning has the added advantage of inducing feelings of well-being, good health and overall confidence in preparing for the future.

          One of the greatest mistakes in trying to develop a culture of savings in our lives, is to believe that this must begin after we have satisfied our immediate needs, so that we in effect save our ‘left overs.’ But this approach unfortunately fails miserably in all but a few special situations. To be successful, requires the definitive development of long-term planning involving the integration of the current resources with the projected long-term needs. Warren Buffett, the enormously successful American business tycoon who is affectionately referred to by his large following as the Guru of Omaha, very effectively placed this in its right context when he emphatically advised:

 “Do not save what is left after spending, but spend what is left after saving.”

In advising this, he was confirming that the habit of trying to save the funds that remain over after spending is satisfied is ineffective and give rise to problems. Savings instead, to be effective, must be the priority, so as to ensure that it will be available to serve you in the time of need. He insists that all other spending must be strictly limited one’s own personal needs, and never to match or compete with anyone else.

          Contrary to the popular impressions, no one will deny the fact that current societies are built on a reckless spending mentality, where everything is done to encourage the use of all the resources available to satisfy the present, with little regard to the needs of the future. We are driven to compete with our neighbors and made to feel that we are ‘entitled’ to everything our hearts desired, without due regard to our real needs for the future. And even on those occasions when we are reminded of our duty to save for those times when the going gets difficult, we tend to delude ourselves in assuming that there is still time to deal with it later. Sadly, we ourselves are guilty of failing to truly recognize that this constant desire for short-term gratification is our greatest enemy, and it is preventing us from taking the right steps to achieve the true ‘freedom’ we all seek.

         The importance of developing a savings philosophy is significantly more than just having money set aside. It should be approached as an integral part of life and given as much import and attention as one does in securing health, living and relationships. The logistics of correct savings cannot be left to chance and to the whims of others, but must be introduced, by word and by example, from an early age, and must be continued throughout one’s lifetime. It takes discipline to achieve financial security, and requires some degree of sacrifice, understanding and planning to ensure its growth and security. It is a serious mistake to ever assume savings are mainly needed for protection from those ‘rainy days.’ In fact, savings, judiciously utilized, is without question the single most important factor in securing a better quality of living during the later years. Indeed, Benjamin Franklin, in his truly boundless wisdom, tried to remind us of this vital role when he declared:

 “By failing to prepare, you are preparing to fail.”

 

-This indeed is the true wisdom in savings. Like life itself, it will only be meaningful if we begin early, allow it to develop slowly, and avoid any of the unnecessary distractions that will interfere with its growth.

 

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DAILY SLICES OF LIFE - The Pursuit of True Happiness

 

“Some cause happiness wherever they go;

 Others, whenever they go.”   

             This wonderfully perceptive comment by Oscar Wilde, the brilliant, flamboyant, and very highly acclaimed 19^th century Irish playwright, speaks volumes to the ability of some people to induce powerful effects on the happiness of others merely by their presence. In this simple statement of fact, he clearly differentiated between the positive and dynamic influence in creating true happiness by some people, and the antagonistic ability of others, who always seem to produce the completely opposite effect.

          Philosophers and psychologists, over the past 2500 years have spent a great deal of time and effort in trying to explain the reasons for, and the effects of happiness on the human race. In all the great ancient cultures, Eastern and Western, much time has been spent in examining the sources and the differences in the people’s responses. It is also of great interest that the insights of many of the great thinkers of the past centuries as well as the modern experts, have shown a remarkable consistency in their conclusions:

-Confucius, in the 5^th century BCE, introduced the concept of happiness as something every person should seek out. He elaborated on this by insisting that happiness, particularly ‘ethical’ happiness, plays the fundamental role in the guidance and direction of the individual’s life.

-Buddha, in the same period, went into greater detail, preaching that happiness is one of the seven factors of enlightenment, and an essential goal for arriving at Nirvana. But he cautioned that to achieve true happiness requires being in the right mental state to choose the middle path between excesses and little.

-Aristotle, the foremost Greek philosopher, was adamant in concluding that “happiness is the meaning and purpose of life, and the whole aim and end of human existence.” He also suggested that the only way to achieve this in life, was to choose the mean between the two extremes in behavior; no different than Buddha’s middle path.

-Epicurus, one of ancient Rome’s most influential philosophers, stressed that “true happiness is the end and aim of living.” He rightly described it as “not being the hedonistic behavior that results from the demands of the senses to satisfy personal pleasure without regard to need, but rather, comes from the wisdom to choose correctly.”

-Abu Hamid al-Ghazi, considered to be one of the greatest of the Islamic philosophers, and a contemporary of Prophet Muhammad, wrote extensively of the pursuit of happiness. He was clear that to achieve “happiness requires a self-realization of oneself, and the understanding of our purpose in living.”

-Thomas Aquinas, acknowledged universally to be one of the greatest philosophical minds in the Roman Catholic church, was quite clear that while ‘perfect’ happiness (eudaimonia) was only attainable in heaven, it was “possible to achieve ‘imperfect’ happiness by living the good life.”

          The pursuit of happiness has been a dominant factor in human life throughout history, and it has taken on a different emphasis in relation to the prevailing thinking in each succeeding generation. In the early years, happiness was considered to be an objective reality, a condition that people must aspire to achieve. In the Middle Ages however, with the birth of the age of enlightenment, as exemplified by Jefferson in the preparation of the impressive American Declaration of Independence, happiness was recognized as an inalienable right of man to which he was entitled to possess and enjoy, irrespective of his intentions. In recent years, with the rapid advances in science and technology, happiness has evolved to mean the pursuit of self-gratification, self-satisfaction and emotional fulfillment, without regard or concern to the needs of others. But irrespective of the prevailing influences, people have generally used the level of happiness as an effective yardstick to measure the success of their living and degree of contentment.

          In like manner, the pursuit of happiness has been one of the major endpoints in the various religious belief systems, and used to measure their ultimate degree of acceptance:

The Buddhists view true happiness as a journey that must be undertaken to lead to the ultimate state of Nirvana. They strongly differentiate this from the false happiness which results from the satisfaction of the senses.

 The Moslems, equally, view happiness, not as a temporary state of joy and satisfaction, but as a lifelong process leading to eternal happiness and everlasting bliss in the hereafter.          

In Judaism, the belief is that true happiness comes from within the individual and that he has the ability to alter or increase its perspective.

 The Christian view of true happiness is founded on the desire to be close to the Almighty, and to achieve the ultimate reward of eternal life in his kingdom.

The common thread that binds all these together is the fact that the superficial sense of joy and fulfillment derived from the satisfaction of the senses can never be equated to the deep, lasting rewards of true happiness.

          The meaning of true happiness is a question that often comes to the minds of everyone looking for answers in living. People spend endless hours searching in every direction, but only few ever succeed in finding genuinely true happiness. True Happiness is far more than just experiencing a feeling of joy and contentment in oneself, or even a feeling of well-being and a sense of fulfillment or of success, for an action completed. Satisfactory as these may be to the individual, they fade away and are soon forgotten. It instead, in order to fully satisfy its true meaning, must be viewed as an overriding state of mind that results from ‘a lifelong process and undertaking with the sole aim of achieving eternal contentment, peace of mind, tranquility of heart and mind in this life and equally, in the hereafter.’

          As will be expected by its very nature, there are no simple or clear characteristics against which one can accurately rate the strength or quality of true happiness. But like so many of this life’s intangible blessings that come our way, we know it when we see it. Here are some of the characteristics:  

 -True happiness can be viewed as that way of life that creates an aura of peace and calm, and a degree of contentment for the choices made. This state of pure serenity was beautifully described by the great Indian statesman, Mahatma Gandhi as:

“When what you think, what you say, and what you do, are in perfect harmony.”

-True happiness induce such infectious qualities to living that can be spread far from the original source. St. Teresa of Kolkata, who devoted her life living in dismal conditions serving the poorest and the neediest was an outstanding example,(one that I myself can confirm, after my fleeting encounter with her many years ago). She explained the dynamics for doing so in these words:

“Let no one ever come to you without leaving better and happier. Be the living expression of God’s kindness. Show kindness in your face, kindness in your eyes, kindness in your smile.”

-True happiness comes only from doing what you truly love to do, and not from what is expected of you. Albert Schweitzer, the great Austrian physician and multi-gifted polymath, who gave up a life of fame and fortune to establish a small hospital in Africa, confirmed this, when he said:

“Happiness is the only thing that multiplies when you share it. Success is not the key to happiness; happiness is the key to success. If you love what you are doing, you will be successful.”

 

         True happiness therefore, to be honest and genuine, cannot be rooted in the acquisition of material values or successes, for these are transient and unpredictable. It will only be meaningful and lasting when it arises from deep within the individual as an intrinsic desire to do good. It can only blossom where there is sound character, with respect for self and for others, and self-identity, of who we are, and how we relate to others. It can never be an isolated goal to be achieved for a specific purpose, but will only be viable when it is embraced as a lifelong perspective and way of life.

           The late respected Utah Mormon, and elder of the Church of the Latter-Day Saints, Marvin J. Ashton recorded the following exquisite description:

 “True happiness is not made by getting something.

 True happiness is becoming something.”

 -This to me, fully and completely encapsulates the real aim and purpose of true happiness. True happiness is never realized as a reward for just doing good, but rather is the reward earned for being good.

 

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DAILY SLICES OF LIFE - Keeping Your Word

 “My word is my bond.”

         For as far back as I can remember, these words have meant a great deal to me. They were the favorite words of my late father, a man of great moral principle and integrity. He would take advantage whenever he could, to remind us, by word and by deed, of the great importance of anything spoken, or promise given by any one of us, and to stress to us all, that nothing should ever be done unless we are prepared to stand by the action and defend it. He repeated the statement so often, that it is indelibly imprinted in my psyche, and continues to remind me that everything I ever say or do must always be measured by that standard. He will insist that we should look on each word we give as an oath, and be guided by the advice contained in the last two lines of Psalm 15:4:

 “Who keeps an oath even when it hurts, and does not change his mind.”

         In legal terms, the statement is generally taken to mean the creation of binding oral agreements, without the need of any written contracts or independent witnesses. Although in olden times this was the common form of lasting agreements, in recent times this has now changed, so that only the signed and witnessed contracts have become the acceptable route, almost exclusively. The official Latin notation, “Dictatum meum pactum” has been in use in the coat of arms and in all the correspondence of the prestigious London Stock Exchange since its founding in 1805, and was formerly adopted as its official motto in 1923, to clearly signify and to encourage adherence to the highest standards of integrity in the financial markets.

         The term, my word is my bond, is quite clear and unambiguous, and means that once a word is spoken, it must stand firm, and nothing or no one can alter or replace its intent, and that any required legal documentation was merely a formality and for the record. Sadly, because of the progressive deterioration in recent times, the notion of being bound by one’s word has undergone increasing disregard as society itself has lost its own sense of integrity. The word does not carry the same import that it once had, and instead has become a tool of convenience, to serve the needs of the user, rather than carrying a commitment to intention. Words at the present time, have lost their true impact for truth and honesty, and are used more as weapons of persuasion and influence, readily changeable as the need arises. No longer are we sure that they will always deliver what they promised.

          This should not come as a surprise to anyone of us, since we are all guilty, to varying degrees, of saying things we don’t mean, or saying them to deflect attention from us, or from what we may be doing. Most of the times we will choose to use our word in this manner, when we were deliberately intending to deflect any responsibility from us, or in the hope of trying to deceive others. But in doing so, we never take into account that a word, once released, cannot be retrieved, but continues to travel in wider and wider circles, like those created by a drop of water falling in the sea. And while most will just drift off harmlessly, a few might well create unexpected and unintended consequences. These are the ones that give rise to more turmoil and disharmony and cause more pain and suffering to so many people. For once they are released, they can never be taken back, nor can the pain that they may have caused.

          Each spoken word always carries three fundamental components which always delineates its true value and determines the force of impact. Any word that is created and delivered will never achieve its desired intentions unless it is truthful; free of intentional lies and concoctions, honest; and delivered with good intentions, and integrity; reflecting the underlying character and honor of the individual. And any person who chooses to deliver the word is committed to ensure that it fulfills these criteria before it is delivered, irrespective of what others might be thinking. This, I believe, is what President Theodore Roosevelt Jnr, the great American statesman, and 26^th President of the United States, was trying to stress when he declared:

 “I care not about what others think I do, but I care very much about what I think of what I do!”

          For those people who do care , then every time they gave their word, they were putting their honor on the line. They were declaring that others may feel free to place their trust in them, and what they are saying, not necessarily because they knew they were correct, but because they valued their integrity and their character. Their word was accepted less on the message it conveyed, and much more on its credibility, and on the knowledge that the person is always honest and truthful, and his intentions are always honorable and free of subterfuge or malice. They insist on this behavior, not because they were seeking any special favor or advantage, nor do they use it as a trick to deceive others and gain advantage, but because it was the right thing to do. To them, keeping their word is fundamentally a reflection of their honor, credibility and integrity to be taken at ‘face value,’ rather than having it questioned for any reason.

          The fundamental truth is that we are defined by our words, and they are the single most important factor that reflect who we are and what others think of us. They constitute the building blocks of our image, and they reflect to others, who we are and what we stand for. They quite often appear to hold more power than we might think, so that every word delivered must reflect our true intention and integrity, for the words are only as good as what we do with them. If they prove to be genuine, we gain the trust of others, but if on the other hand, they fail to deliver the promise, we lose their trust and with it, the image they hold. Indeed, the value of our words are the measure of respect we will have with others, and the level of acceptance and belief is directly dependent on their predictability.

          But keeping your word is not only about gaining the respect of others. It must begin primarily with yourself, by first learning to keep the promise of truth and honesty, sacred. For unless you become truly comfortable with your own image, you will fail to convince anyone else. Before this can begin to take hold, there must of necessity, be a fully developed sense of personal integrity and self-worth that places honor and trust ahead of convenience. This can only develop in a milieu where trust and respect is practiced, and where learning to do so is predominant. Without this firmly implanted, a word is no more than a grain of sand resting on the seashore, subject to the changing winds and tides. This explains the current atmosphere dominated by deceit and self-interest, where less respect is shown to honor and integrity and much more to deceit and self-interest, and where a recent violent attempt at the seat of government, has been labelled as merely ‘social exuberance.’

         The great 19^th century American novelist and moralist, Nathaniel Hawthorne, explained this dramatic power of words and their effect on human behavior in these terms:

 “Words, so innocent and powerless as they are, how potent for good or evil they become in the hands of knows how to combine them.”

 -Indeed, the truth in this statement rings out clearly and loudly. For the power of the word expressed as a bond can serve as a source of great good or of evil, in the hands any person.

 

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DAILY SLICES OF LIFE -The Importance of Caring

 

                        “The simple act of caring is heroic.”

         This brief, but very powerful comment was made by Edward Albert, a very successful, gifted and highly respected American actor. He was a life-long committed caregiver, and a relentless advocate for the rights of the Native Americans, the environment, and for people in need or the very ill. He, in fact, gave up a successful acting career in order to devote his time to caring for his father who suffered from advanced-stage Alzheimer’s disease. His work on protecting the environment was recognized in California when the Escondido canyon was renamed the Edward Alpert Escondido trail. He explained that since the desire to help others goes against the natural selfish and self-preservation instincts, then he considers any such action is tantamount to a heroic deed.

          In much the same way, the recently canonized St, Teresa of Kolkata, a Roman Catholic nun who devoted her whole life to the care and support of the millions of the poor and sick who live on streets of Kolkata and all over the world, in replying to a question as to what she was expecting to happen, said:       

 “I alone cannot change the world, but I can cast a stone across the waters to create many ripples.” 

 She believed that after each act of caring, when we succeeded in doing a good deed, or truly cared for someone or something, that act or good deed will somehow be remembered and will be passed on in ways that we could not conceive. Like drops of water falling into the sea, they each will start ripples that will be felt far beyond the point they started.

          This urge for caring should not come as a surprise since it has long been recognized that developmentally, the human brain is instinctively designed to take care of the others around him, as a way of ensuring survival. Anthropologists have long suggested that the survival of the species could not be ensured without the continuous caring of the weakest by the stronger members. The great English anthropologist, Charles Darwin, in his publication ‘The Descent of man,’ further suggested that the feelings of sympathy toward others was one of the strongest instincts of man, and that “his brain is hardwired to care and to serve.’’ He concluded that the basic expressions of sympathy, love and cooperation actually exist in each person as inherited instincts, and in fact, can be equally demonstrated in all the other members of the animal kingdom. Physiologically, neuroscientists have repeatedly demonstrated that any act of caring, or of generosity, triggers the happiness center in the same way that food does, with a similar release of endorphins. Behaviorists insist that these instincts begin very early in life, and probably before birth, so that children’s responses are likely to reflect their early experiences. This explains why a child developing in a secure, positive milieu is much more likely to be better motivated to become aware of the needs of others, and to search for ways to relieve them.

          For as long as man has been on this earth, the concept of caring for others has been recognized and practiced by some, even while others seek to discourage and deny it. Every generation has produced countless numbers of people who, in small personal ways, or in large public involvements, have attempted to improve the lives of other humans, or of living creatures or the environment. Great leaders, both secular and religious, have devoted their lives to persuading others of the great necessity of living a life of caring rather than give in to the urge of self-satisfaction.

         This basic human instinct is one of mutual support and connectivity, and this can only be satisfied by empathy. In many ways, the urge to care for, or empathize with others begins with a need to satisfy our own emotions first, so that the act of caring is in fact, a very personal expression. In many ways, it is probably the strongest instinct in seeking and securing social unity and stability, and in settings where it is established, the members are happier, far more sympathetic and understanding and flourish better than in other situations. Pablo Casals, the Spanish born cellist, considered by many to be the greatest cellist ever, and a dedicated humanitarian, very effectively summarized this in the following manner:

 “The capacity to care is the thing which gives life its deepest significance.”

              Nothing we ever do in our lives can be as important to our happiness and our well-being than just knowing that others care about us. This expression of connection, the caring effect, can be manifested in a variety of ways, which may include words, thoughts, actions and companionship, all meant to convey the fact that other people care. Multiple studies have demonstrated repeatedly, that kindness, whether real or imagined, will go a long way to improve our physical and spiritual being, and relieve feelings of anxiety and isolation. Caring for others has been found to be an important aspect in improving human relationships which can show substantial improvement when we take steps, directly or indirectly, to demonstrate concern and attention to others. Caring serves also, to make us far less absorbed in our own inadequacies and deficiencies, while at the same time making us better, by improving our feelings of hope and empathy. This has led Hillary Clinton, to observe:

 “Caring for others is an expression of what it feels to be fully human.”

          In a world such as ours, dominated as it is, by a desire to succeed at all cost, it is very tempting to fall into a life of selfishness, and to focus only on our individual goals and desires, while justifying this on the basis of trying to survive. We seem to be spending all our waking hours in thinking and doing only those things that are beneficial to us, without any regard to their effect on the life and welfare of anyone else. This approach, at first glance, may well appear to be the most prudent, since it tends to ensure our survival. But this argument fails to recognize that we can only survive and flourish when others in our group also grow and flourish, and that, we all will inevitably suffer unhappy consequences when other people are left to suffer. For, whenever we do this, we ignore the fundamental fact that man, like all the members of the animal kingdom, is a fundamentally social being. The great ancient Greek philosopher and polymath, Aristotle, more than 2000 years ago, recognized this fact when he declared:

 “Man is by nature a social animal; any individual who is unsocial by nature and not by accident, is either beneath our notice, or more than human.”

          When anyone takes the time to care about others, his sense of empathy is aroused, and he becomes more aware of his own emotions and those of others around. This is in complete contrast to the person who chooses to ignore others and becomes increasingly self-absorbed and unconcerned about the distress they experienced, even when he might have contributed to it. For without this empathy, without being acutely aware of how your actions, or lack of action will affect others, you can end up causing unnecessary pain and suffering, often without even being aware of your impact.

           A caring person, on the other hand, is conscious of the impact of his actions on others, maintains a positive and less suspicious attitude, and entertains a generous, attentive and considerate attitude toward others.  He feels, and actually becomes a better person for caring. Without any doubt, caring cannot co-exist with selfish intentions, but will flourish in a setting where there is a willingness to learn and to understand the feelings of others. This has led the great cultural anthropologist, Margaret Mead to declare:

 “Never believe that a few caring people can’t change the world. For, indeed, that is all who ever had.”

         Someone once described the art of caring as seeing with the eyes of another, listening with the ears of another and feeling with the heart of another. This to my mind, perfectly encapsulates the beauty of living a life dominated by a spirit of empathy. It is also the message that has been passed on in an unbroken sequence by all the great philosophers, teachers and scholars as far back as the beginning of recorded history. All the great spiritual leaders of all the great religions including Confucius, Buddha, Krishna, Zoroaster, Mohammed and Jesus Christ, have all, without exception, consistently preached about the great virtues and satisfactions that will be derived from leading a life of caring. And equally, at the individual levels, even a cursory review of the lives of anyone of the endless numbers of people, who throughout the ages, have devoted their lives and their effort to caring for, and supporting the neediest and the weakest members of the human race, will not fail to conclude that even in the very depth of despair and misery around them, their joy and satisfaction was boundless.

             The true importance of caring in fact, transcends the benefits derived by the recipient, however significant these may have been. It serves also to bolsters the ego, reinforces the emotions and encourages a feeling of satisfaction and well-being that will last long after the good deed is completed. Perhaps, the great character actor Leonard Nimoy, who died a few years ago, after a long and very successful career, placed this in a very good context when he observed:

 “The miracle is: the more we care for others, the more we have.”

-This indeed is, without question, the greatest importance of a life of caring for others rather than oneself. No other action can equate the rewards received by both the giver and recipient, and the feelings of joy and satisfaction experienced by both.

 

 

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