“The simple act of caring is heroic.”
This brief, but very powerful comment was made by Edward Albert, a very successful, gifted and highly respected American actor. He was a life-long committed caregiver, and a relentless advocate for the rights of the Native Americans, the environment, and for people in need or the very ill. He, in fact, gave up a successful acting career in order to devote his time to caring for his father who suffered from advanced-stage Alzheimer’s disease. His work on protecting the environment was recognized in California when the Escondido canyon was renamed the Edward Alpert Escondido trail. He explained that since the desire to help others goes against the natural selfish and self-preservation instincts, then he considers any such action is tantamount to a heroic deed.
In much the same way, the recently canonized St, Teresa of Kolkata, a Roman Catholic nun who devoted her whole life to the care and support of the millions of the poor and sick who live on streets of Kolkata and all over the world, in replying to a question as to what she was expecting to happen, said:
“I alone cannot change the world, but I can cast a stone across the waters to create many ripples.”
She believed that after each act of caring, when we succeeded in doing a good deed, or truly cared for someone or something, that act or good deed will somehow be remembered and will be passed on in ways that we could not conceive. Like drops of water falling into the sea, they each will start ripples that will be felt far beyond the point they started.
This urge for caring should not come as a surprise since it has long been recognized that developmentally, the human brain is instinctively designed to take care of the others around him, as a way of ensuring survival. Anthropologists have long suggested that the survival of the species could not be ensured without the continuous caring of the weakest by the stronger members. The great English anthropologist, Charles Darwin, in his publication ‘The Descent of man,’ further suggested that the feelings of sympathy toward others was one of the strongest instincts of man, and that “his brain is hardwired to care and to serve.’’ He concluded that the basic expressions of sympathy, love and cooperation actually exist in each person as inherited instincts, and in fact, can be equally demonstrated in all the other members of the animal kingdom. Physiologically, neuroscientists have repeatedly demonstrated that any act of caring, or of generosity, triggers the happiness center in the same way that food does, with a similar release of endorphins. Behaviorists insist that these instincts begin very early in life, and probably before birth, so that children’s responses are likely to reflect their early experiences. This explains why a child developing in a secure, positive milieu is much more likely to be better motivated to become aware of the needs of others, and to search for ways to relieve them.
For as long as man has been on this earth, the concept of caring for others has been recognized and practiced by some, even while others seek to discourage and deny it. Every generation has produced countless numbers of people who, in small personal ways, or in large public involvements, have attempted to improve the lives of other humans, or of living creatures or the environment. Great leaders, both secular and religious, have devoted their lives to persuading others of the great necessity of living a life of caring rather than give in to the urge of self-satisfaction.
This basic human instinct is one of mutual support and connectivity, and this can only be satisfied by empathy. In many ways, the urge to care for, or empathize with others begins with a need to satisfy our own emotions first, so that the act of caring is in fact, a very personal expression. In many ways, it is probably the strongest instinct in seeking and securing social unity and stability, and in settings where it is established, the members are happier, far more sympathetic and understanding and flourish better than in other situations. Pablo Casals, the Spanish born cellist, considered by many to be the greatest cellist ever, and a dedicated humanitarian, very effectively summarized this in the following manner:
“The capacity to care is the thing which gives life its deepest significance.”
Nothing we ever do in our lives can be as important to our happiness and our well-being than just knowing that others care about us. This expression of connection, the caring effect, can be manifested in a variety of ways, which may include words, thoughts, actions and companionship, all meant to convey the fact that other people care. Multiple studies have demonstrated repeatedly, that kindness, whether real or imagined, will go a long way to improve our physical and spiritual being, and relieve feelings of anxiety and isolation. Caring for others has been found to be an important aspect in improving human relationships which can show substantial improvement when we take steps, directly or indirectly, to demonstrate concern and attention to others. Caring serves also, to make us far less absorbed in our own inadequacies and deficiencies, while at the same time making us better, by improving our feelings of hope and empathy. This has led Hillary Clinton, to observe:
“Caring for others is an expression of what it feels to be fully human.”
In a world such as ours, dominated as it is, by a desire to succeed at all cost, it is very tempting to fall into a life of selfishness, and to focus only on our individual goals and desires, while justifying this on the basis of trying to survive. We seem to be spending all our waking hours in thinking and doing only those things that are beneficial to us, without any regard to their effect on the life and welfare of anyone else. This approach, at first glance, may well appear to be the most prudent, since it tends to ensure our survival. But this argument fails to recognize that we can only survive and flourish when others in our group also grow and flourish, and that, we all will inevitably suffer unhappy consequences when other people are left to suffer. For, whenever we do this, we ignore the fundamental fact that man, like all the members of the animal kingdom, is a fundamentally social being. The great ancient Greek philosopher and polymath, Aristotle, more than 2000 years ago, recognized this fact when he declared:
“Man is by nature a social animal; any individual who is unsocial by nature and not by accident, is either beneath our notice, or more than human.”
When anyone takes the time to care about others, his sense of empathy is aroused, and he becomes more aware of his own emotions and those of others around. This is in complete contrast to the person who chooses to ignore others and becomes increasingly self-absorbed and unconcerned about the distress they experienced, even when he might have contributed to it. For without this empathy, without being acutely aware of how your actions, or lack of action will affect others, you can end up causing unnecessary pain and suffering, often without even being aware of your impact.
A caring person, on the other hand, is conscious of the impact of his actions on others, maintains a positive and less suspicious attitude, and entertains a generous, attentive and considerate attitude toward others. He feels, and actually becomes a better person for caring. Without any doubt, caring cannot co-exist with selfish intentions, but will flourish in a setting where there is a willingness to learn and to understand the feelings of others. This has led the great cultural anthropologist, Margaret Mead to declare:
“Never believe that a few caring people can’t change the world. For, indeed, that is all who ever had.”
Someone once described the art of caring
as seeing with the eyes of another, listening with the ears of another and
feeling with the heart of another. This to my mind, perfectly encapsulates
the beauty of living a life dominated by a spirit of empathy. It is also the
message that has been passed on in an unbroken sequence by all the great
philosophers, teachers and scholars as far back as the beginning of recorded
history. All the great spiritual leaders of all the great religions including Confucius,
Buddha, Krishna, Zoroaster, Mohammed and Jesus Christ, have all, without
exception, consistently preached about the great virtues and satisfactions that
will be derived from leading a life of caring. And equally, at the individual
levels, even a cursory review of the lives of anyone of the endless numbers of
people, who throughout the ages, have devoted their lives and their effort to
caring for, and supporting the neediest and the weakest members of the human
race, will not fail to conclude that even in the very depth of despair and
misery around them, their joy and satisfaction was boundless.
The true importance of caring in fact, transcends the benefits derived by the recipient, however significant these may have been. It serves also to bolsters the ego, reinforces the emotions and encourages a feeling of satisfaction and well-being that will last long after the good deed is completed. Perhaps, the great character actor Leonard Nimoy, who died a few years ago, after a long and very successful career, placed this in a very good context when he observed:
“The miracle is: the more we care for others, the more we have.”
-This indeed is, without question, the greatest importance of a life of caring for others rather than oneself. No other action can equate the rewards received by both the giver and recipient, and the feelings of joy and satisfaction experienced by both.
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