“My word is my bond.”
For as far back as I can remember, these words have meant a great deal to me. They were the favorite words of my late father, a man of great moral principle and integrity. He would take advantage whenever he could, to remind us, by word and by deed, of the great importance of anything spoken, or promise given by any one of us, and to stress to us all, that nothing should ever be done unless we are prepared to stand by the action and defend it. He repeated the statement so often, that it is indelibly imprinted in my psyche, and continues to remind me that everything I ever say or do must always be measured by that standard. He will insist that we should look on each word we give as an oath, and be guided by the advice contained in the last two lines of Psalm 15:4:
“Who keeps an oath even when it hurts, and does not change his mind.”
In legal terms, the statement is generally taken to mean the creation of binding oral agreements, without the need of any written contracts or independent witnesses. Although in olden times this was the common form of lasting agreements, in recent times this has now changed, so that only the signed and witnessed contracts have become the acceptable route, almost exclusively. The official Latin notation, “Dictatum meum pactum” has been in use in the coat of arms and in all the correspondence of the prestigious London Stock Exchange since its founding in 1805, and was formerly adopted as its official motto in 1923, to clearly signify and to encourage adherence to the highest standards of integrity in the financial markets.
The term, my word is my bond, is quite clear and unambiguous, and means that once a word is spoken, it must stand firm, and nothing or no one can alter or replace its intent, and that any required legal documentation was merely a formality and for the record. Sadly, because of the progressive deterioration in recent times, the notion of being bound by one’s word has undergone increasing disregard as society itself has lost its own sense of integrity. The word does not carry the same import that it once had, and instead has become a tool of convenience, to serve the needs of the user, rather than carrying a commitment to intention. Words at the present time, have lost their true impact for truth and honesty, and are used more as weapons of persuasion and influence, readily changeable as the need arises. No longer are we sure that they will always deliver what they promised.
This should not come as a surprise to anyone of us, since we are all guilty, to varying degrees, of saying things we don’t mean, or saying them to deflect attention from us, or from what we may be doing. Most of the times we will choose to use our word in this manner, when we were deliberately intending to deflect any responsibility from us, or in the hope of trying to deceive others. But in doing so, we never take into account that a word, once released, cannot be retrieved, but continues to travel in wider and wider circles, like those created by a drop of water falling in the sea. And while most will just drift off harmlessly, a few might well create unexpected and unintended consequences. These are the ones that give rise to more turmoil and disharmony and cause more pain and suffering to so many people. For once they are released, they can never be taken back, nor can the pain that they may have caused.
Each spoken word always carries three fundamental components which always delineates its true value and determines the force of impact. Any word that is created and delivered will never achieve its desired intentions unless it is truthful; free of intentional lies and concoctions, honest; and delivered with good intentions, and integrity; reflecting the underlying character and honor of the individual. And any person who chooses to deliver the word is committed to ensure that it fulfills these criteria before it is delivered, irrespective of what others might be thinking. This, I believe, is what President Theodore Roosevelt Jnr, the great American statesman, and 26th President of the United States, was trying to stress when he declared:
“I care not about what others think I do, but I care very much about what I think of what I do!”
For those people who do care , then every time they gave their word, they were putting their honor on the line. They were declaring that others may feel free to place their trust in them, and what they are saying, not necessarily because they knew they were correct, but because they valued their integrity and their character. Their word was accepted less on the message it conveyed, and much more on its credibility, and on the knowledge that the person is always honest and truthful, and his intentions are always honorable and free of subterfuge or malice. They insist on this behavior, not because they were seeking any special favor or advantage, nor do they use it as a trick to deceive others and gain advantage, but because it was the right thing to do. To them, keeping their word is fundamentally a reflection of their honor, credibility and integrity to be taken at ‘face value,’ rather than having it questioned for any reason.
The fundamental truth is that we are defined by our words, and they are the single most important factor that reflect who we are and what others think of us. They constitute the building blocks of our image, and they reflect to others, who we are and what we stand for. They quite often appear to hold more power than we might think, so that every word delivered must reflect our true intention and integrity, for the words are only as good as what we do with them. If they prove to be genuine, we gain the trust of others, but if on the other hand, they fail to deliver the promise, we lose their trust and with it, the image they hold. Indeed, the value of our words are the measure of respect we will have with others, and the level of acceptance and belief is directly dependent on their predictability.
But keeping your word is not only about gaining the respect of others. It must begin primarily with yourself, by first learning to keep the promise of truth and honesty, sacred. For unless you become truly comfortable with your own image, you will fail to convince anyone else. Before this can begin to take hold, there must of necessity, be a fully developed sense of personal integrity and self-worth that places honor and trust ahead of convenience. This can only develop in a milieu where trust and respect is practiced, and where learning to do so is predominant. Without this firmly implanted, a word is no more than a grain of sand resting on the seashore, subject to the changing winds and tides. This explains the current atmosphere dominated by deceit and self-interest, where less respect is shown to honor and integrity and much more to deceit and self-interest, and where a recent violent attempt at the seat of government, has been labelled as merely ‘social exuberance.’
The great 19th century American novelist and moralist, Nathaniel Hawthorne, explained this dramatic power of words and their effect on human behavior in these terms:
“Words, so innocent and powerless as they are, how potent for good or evil they become in the hands of knows how to combine them.”
-Indeed, the truth in this statement rings out clearly and loudly. For the power of the word expressed as a bond can serve as a source of great good or of evil, in the hands any person.
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