DAILY SLICES OF LIFE

 The Wonderful Power of Generosity

 “If you knew what I know about the power of giving, you will not let a single meal pass without sharing it in some way.”

          This powerful statement by His Holiness Gautama Buddha made almost 3000 years ago, formed one of three foundation pillars on which he built the Buddhist empire. He described the three fundamental practices as Dana (generosity), Sila (morality), and Bhavana (meditation) as the only way one can arrive at the exalted state of Nirvana. He himself, who was born as a chosen prince in the kingdom, abandoned his wealth, privileges and power to pursue a spiritual life of poverty, free of the trappings of power and wealth.

          To the true Buddhist, the practice of giving meant much more than just sharing or helping. Of greater importance is the fact that it must always be accompanied by deeply embedded good intentions and a state of mind to do only good, without any form of personal gain. Buddha himself, described the act of giving something, however valuable, as if it is thrown away without any expectation of retrieving it. He further insisted that every gift must be accompanied with a purity of intention toward the recipient, must always be earned with honest action, and free of ulterior motives. He promised that the reward to the giver can be immeasurable, and explained:

 “Generosity brings happiness at every stage of expression. We experience joy in forming the intention to be generous. We experience joy in the actual act of giving something, and we experience joy in remembering that we have given.”

         Human beings generally can be conveniently separated 3 groups:

The Givers, those who are willing and eager to extend themselves, without expecting any acknowledgment, credit or compensation, because they are driven to do.

The Takers, those who a driven by an inner sense of entitlement, who always think of themselves first, try to push themselves first and show little regard for the needs and hopes of anyone else.

The Matchers, those who are prepared to share themselves only to an extent, and only if the others are willing to equally share with them. They form the largest group and made up of most of us, who are content to get as much as need to satisfy us, without having to be concerned with anyone else.

Because of their willingness to extend themselves in the service of others, even if it meant sacrificing their own opportunities, or to blindly trust in the goodness of others, the givers render themselves open to exploitation and tend to end up at the bottom of the success ladder. While others may take steps to correct this discrepancy, the need for success does not faze them, since their aim is focused on helping the more vulnerable. John Bevere, the well-respected international Christian minister, in explaining this, noted:

 “If we don’t risk getting hurt, we cannot give unconditional love, Unconditional love gives others the right to hurt us.”

          Generosity is a critical component of who we are. When we choose to be generous, we are recognizing the interconnection and interdependence we have on each other, and it sets in motion a cycle of love, gratitude, and more giving from others. Like the proverbial butterfly whose flapping wings can be felt far from the origin, so too, an act of generosity will encourage increasing numbers to follow suit.

 The story is told about a young autistic man who felt so disconnected and unable to relate to anyone else, that he chose to stay alone. While wandering in the local park one morning, he was so impressed by a new pair of sneakers worn by a man not much older than him, sitting on a bench, that he quietly commented, as he walked past, that he wished he could own his own pair. Whereupon the man removed the shoes and handed them to him saying ‘you can have them. I have other ones to wear’. The autistic man was so overwhelmed by this gesture, that he began to get more involved, and spent the rest of the time giving gifts to others whenever the opportunity arose.

Confirming again, what Buddha had said several millennia ago:

 “Thousands of candles can be lighted from one single candle.”

          Generosity is regarded as a virtue by all the major religions and celebrated in ceremonies as a gift from the almighty. The Holy Bible, contains many references to generosity as a hallmark of all the great prophets and men of destiny, beginning with Jesus Christ himself, who preached continuously of its singular importance in the lives of every good Christian. Indeed, there can be no greater destiny than a deep sense of generosity. In Judaism, generosity (Tzedakah), is the sacred duty of every good practicing Jew, and considered to be an obligation. Islam encourages the practice of generosity (Zahat), and considers it to be one of the pillars of Islam. And as previously indicated, the Buddhists view generosity as the very foundation of achieving nirvana. The Dalai Lama spoke for all the religions when he described generosity as:                            

“The most natural outward expression of an inner attitude of compassion and loving kindness.”

          But generosity must never be viewed as a one-way street of simply giving to others, for unless it is accompanied with an inner sense of fulfillment, there can be no joy or satisfaction. And unless we are able to treat ourselves with kindness, irrespective of the outcome, we will not be doing justice to ourselves. In fact, repeated studies have shown that that those who are truly inclined to behaving generous are motivated by a deeply embedded urge to do so, and each time they act, or consider acting, they tend to release generous levels of Oxytocin thus increasing further, their sense of empathy. Psychologically, generosity tends to open us to curiosity and creativity not only for the needs of others, but also to embracing ourselves and our sense fulfillment. It awakens an intrinsic desire to give as much as we can, as our way of showing love and support of our fellow human beings. This is why even though the giver is not often remembered for all his exploits, yet people never forget how he made them feel. This is precisely what the incomparable Miami-based, African-American poet and successful author Maya Angelou meant to convey when she wrote:

 “I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.”      

          Without doubt, Generosity’s greatest quality emerges from the fundamental gesture of letting go. When executed effectively, the act of releasing requires that we accept the fact that we are handing over to someone something that belongs to us, and is part of us. Giving and letting go tend to function hand-in-hand, they both help serve to get us open to see the suffering and the need in others, less fortunate than us, and kindle in us, the urge to help. It is much more that charity which implies helping, it gets us out of our narrow boundaries we all construct, and insist that we look beyond ourselves and our urge to satisfy our personal desires and our needs. It teaches us how to see, feel and grow beyond our own boundaries, to recognize our kinship to others, and to value their happiness and their well-being, and to place them as we do, ourselves. As Dr. Deepak Chopra, the very successful, Indian born American physician and inspirational guru, so wisely suggested:

 “In the process of letting go, you will lose many things

from the past, but you will find yourself.”

-This indeed, is the truly wonderful joy of Generosity. It has nothing to do with the acquisition of fame, fortune or popularity. But it has everything to do about finding yourself; who you truly are, what are your real needs in this life, and above all else, it allows you to show, like Jesus Christ had shown, that you truly care for those who are in need.

 

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