MAKING A DIFFERENCE

      “It is not what you possess in life that makes you so important.

      It is who you are, that makes the difference.”

                                                        

The above comment was made to me by my niece Sylvia, many years ago in the context of her late father’s impact on her life. He had only recently passed away following a long period of severe physical incapacity resulting from an unfortunate accident he had sustained. She insisted that the most memorable part of him was neither the businesses he developed, nor the buildings he built, nor even the reputation he acquired from his peers, however formidable that they each were. To her, the true measure of the man was in the person he was. In his total devotion and commitment to his wife and his family, the care and concern for the welfare of those who worked for him, the respect he showed to everyone, irrespective of social or economic status and above all else, in his genuine humanity. She insisted that while the businesses he built and the buildings he erected may change with time, the man he was and the reputation he has left behind will live on in the lives and minds of all those who knew and loved him.  To her, this is the most important value a man can possess; anything else about him will be secondary and less consequential.

There are many who will not agree with this statement, but to me the pursuit of one’s humanity is paramount, and rises above all else. The act of setting aside one’s own ego with its selfish demands, and instead, seeking the welfare of another individual or situation, whether solicited or unsolicited, is far more rewarding and satisfying. By doing so, by giving rather than demanding, we not only express our fundamental human spirit, but also acknowledge that there is indeed much more in life than merely the pursuit of any greedy personal conveniences and the gratification of our selfish desires. 

         Victor Frankl, a fine example of a true humanitarian, whose life-story before, during and after his internment by the Gestapo during World War II is probably the most outstanding example of love and service to others in recent times, recorded the following observation in his classic publication, “Man’s search for Meaning”:

“A man who becomes conscious of the responsibility he bears toward a human being, who affectionately waits for him, or to an unfinished work, can never throw away his life. He knows the ‘why’ for his existence, and will be able to wait for the ‘how’.”

Frankl found that wherever he traveled in the world, men can be readily divided into two separate and distinct classes irrespective of race, religion or social status. On the one hand, there are those who are guided by greed and personal self-gratification and a desire to acquire all they can, in complete disregard of the hopes, needs and expectation of others. While the other is a group motivated by a love for others and a desire to protect and support as much as possible. Unlike the former group, they are not content to stand by while others are in need, and will do whatever needed, even without being asked. The members of this latter group, whose names and reputations have embellished the history books throughout the centuries, are defined by the values and the principles they lived by, and not by the monuments that may or may not bear their names. These are the people who make a difference in the world.

         One of the great tragedies of life is that so many people spend all their lives without ever experiencing the joy and satisfaction of living a life that makes a difference. They were too busy living the sort of life that society expected of them, and were so consumed with trying to please a few people at all cost, that they had no time to find their own fulfillment. Even more tragic is the fact that quite often they do this without intention, but out of ignorance because they were never given the opportunity to know or do better. Modern society with its determined drive to succeed more, to acquire more, to build more and to compete more, fails to recognize that the true, lasting rewards do not lie in the taking or accumulating, but rather in the giving and in the sharing. That true success is measured less by results and more by effect on others. This, and only this, is what makes the difference, and everything else in life are merely window dressings.

This to me is the real shame of modern societies, with all their great advancements in knowledge, opportunity and conveniences. Instead of developing forward, man has indeed devolved backwards to the animal thinking. Instead of sharing the blessings and making a difference to the lives of all members, man has chosen to grab and horde, while others are left wanting. All of this, in the name of progress!

 What a shame that we are not courageous enough to take up our responsibilities and follow the right path in living. Perhaps we should take heed of those fine words recorded by the late Robert P. Kennedy on the night he was tragically killed by a disturbed Sirhan Sirhan:

“Each time a man stands up for an ideal, or acts to improve the lot of others, or strikes out against injustice, he sends forth a tiny ripple of hope, crossing each other from a million different centers of energy and daring those ripples to build a current which can sweep down the mightiest walls of oppression and resistance.”

Instead of a current of goodwill sweeping away the mighty walls of oppression and resistance, we are choosing to build walls, restrict freedoms and use religion as a reason to kill and destroy.

-And tragically, we proudly claim to do this in the name of civilization!