LIFE WITH NEIGHBORS

“Far better a Neighbor near you,

than a brother who is far off.”

I was recently reminded by my brother-in-law of this quotation contained in Proverbs 27:10, during a discussion on the subject of good relationships with neighbors. He was lamenting the fact that unlike past times, there was a growing tendency to stay away from our neighbors in the name of increased privacy and of avoiding giving the impression of being inquisitive. He added that in years gone by, a good neighbor was considered to be a blessing that deserved respect and honor.  Further, he reminded me that the definition of neighbor should extend not only to the person next door but should include residents of up to 40 houses in all directions. In effect, this really includes the whole neighborhood. 

                 By definition, a neighbor is someone who lives in close proximity to you and with whom you share common boundary. But in truth this is a relative term which depends on a number of variables relating to whether you are a city dweller, an urban dweller or a rural dweller. It should not necessarily be restricted to the immediate contact but to any one with whom a relationship is developed. A good neighbor is one who is friendly, caring and considerate, who respects your space and privacy, but who is always ready and willing to extend support and help whenever it is needed. He is one who takes time to reach out and connect, to talk and smile, to look out for the welfare of your children and your property and above all, do nothing to initiate or encourage any ill-will. In fact a good neighbor is the most essential requisite for a successful community. No community will ever survive without the help and support of good neighbors.

                 In my own experience, during my many years of living in various countries and different cultures, I have been blessed on all but one occasion, with good neighbors with whom I have shared many rewarding relationships. We have shared happiness and sorrows, success and failures, good news and bad news, all the while respecting each one of our need for privacy and discretion. Indeed I feel very comfortable in saying that to me, a good neighbor is as important as any member of my family and deserves as much respect.

However, there was only one occasion when I had the great misfortune of living next to a neighbor who chose to exercise his right to complete privacy and isolation. The environment was at best regrettable, and it gave us feelings uneasiness and disappointment. In my mind, it certainly confirmed the statement “better an enemy than a bad neighbor”. For with an enemy, you are always prepared to protect yourself, but with such a neighbor, I, very unfortunately, found myself with a sense of ambivalence and uncertainty that continued until he departed.

                 But neighbors are not only individuals who share adjoining spaces. They are also communities and countries sharing common boundaries. As in the case of individual neighbors, they also are bound by the same rules of mutual respect and responsibility which when applied, leads to mutual peace and prosperity for all. Unfortunately this is certainly not the case in so many situations where suspicion abounds and respect lacking. The world itself is in a state of such intense turmoil and conflict for reasons based more on disrespect of good rules of neighbors, and selfish desires to conquer and control than any legitimate excuses. This has resulted in the infliction of such unimaginable pain and suffering on so many defenseless people, whose only need is to live together in peace and safety.

 We need only to examine any of the conflicts which have caused, and continue to cause, such severe economic and  personal suffering, to really see that the root causes of these are the product of a few, misguided, misinformed and biased individuals who, like bad neighbors, are willing to cause untold conflict and misery, to satisfy their own agenda. The classic among these is the long running conflict between the Arabs of Palestine and the Jews of Israel. They share the lands, the waters and food supply but are kept apart by lack of respect, religious and political fears.

                 All these people, whether they are your next door neighbor, or the government of a country waging war against a neighboring country, or the leader of a religious group condemning another religious group or any other similar conflict, invariably justify their actions by invoking the name of the Almighty, whom they insist is on their side. What a crying shame that they do so, for were they genuinely concerned with the wishes of the Almighty God, they will no doubt be aware of his own words when his son, Jesus advised us, in Luke Chapter 10, Verse 27, to:

“Love your neighbor as your self.”

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