GETTING THE MOST OF LIFE

"Life is not about waiting for the storm to pass;

… It’s about learning to dance in the rain."

        

One of the greatest myths in life is the belief that when you were born you were entitled to all the amenities of living that your heart may desire. But this myth is as far from the truth as you can ever get. Nobody ever promised or offered anything to you other than life itself, and the most anyone can do for you, is to show you the road to travel on. Whether your journey succeeds or not, is left entirely up to you and your resources.

The above quotation is by Vivien Greene, the wife of the distinguished English author and novelist Graham Greene, considered to be among the greatest writers of the 20^thcentury. She was herself, an accomplished poet in her own right, publishing several favorably received books of poetry. This quotation speaks clearly and precisely to the fact that you cannot assume that you are entitled to anything more than what was provided to you, and that you must learn to get the best out of life by making the most of what you have.

Life undoubtedly, is our most precious possession. It is the only one we will ever have on this earth, and it would be a shame to waste it by either choosing to chase another person’s dreams, or by just sitting around and waiting for our sun to shine. Either of these approaches are destined to fail, and we are inevitably left, like so many are, disillusioned and disappointed, unfulfilled and unhappy, bitter and angry and above all, cheated of our promise of a life of fulfillment.

Far too often we find ourselves trapped in a vicious cycle of believing that we can only get to be our best by learning from, and trying to follow others. Instead of getting to know who we are, and making the most of the abilities we possess, we prefer to follow what others are doing, and spend the rest of our lives in hopeless pursuit of somebody else’s dreams. As the quotation suggests, life does not wait for us to find the right time, but it continues on without regard to prevailing conditions. It is up to us to learn to adapt to our situation and live to the best we can, or refuse to do so, and suffer the resulting disappointments and consequences.

Like so many other people, I believe that life is not an accident of nature but a deliberate gift from the Almighty given to us to be used to its fullest. It is not meant to be wasted in useless expectations, nor in the unrealistic pursuit of other people’s dreams. It is instead, to be used by the individual as it was meant to be used, for as long as time allows. Though the real purpose of our living on earth will never be fully understood, nevertheless it is left up to each individual to determine, as best as he could, the meaning of his own life and to make full use of this knowledge. This clearly means that in order to obtain the most of one’s life, one must take control early and not allow negative experiences or other people’s actions determine the direction. This can only be achieved if we seek out our own goals and dreams, and then go after them ourselves.

We all came into this world under similar conditions. When we were born there was a clean slate and a whole world ahead of us. But unfortunately this picture became distorted almost immediately when we came in contact with the many and varied influences which then affected our future, for better or worse. Some of us were blessed to be born into a stable, loving home and were given every opportunity to grow and develop to our fullest potential. While others, through no fault of their own, were exposed to a disruptive and unstable milieu and as a result suffered major deficiencies in their developing personalities. The first group, with the better influences, will likely stand a better chance of making use of the opportunities available than the latter group, already burdened by the weight of its negative experiences. And yet in both cases, there will still be no guaruntee of success without the continued, specific, direct, deliberate involvement of others around them.

Even after all this, a great deal is still dependent on how the circumstances and opportunities available to each individual are utilized. This is yet another example of “carpe diem” that nature is so fond of offering; that of trying to make the best of the opportunities available to obtain the most out of life. Clearly, greater success depends on the more effective searching out and making full use of the opportunities available, together with the desire and willingness to do so. To me, this indeed is the fundamental difference between those who succeed and those who do not. For in any given situation, it matters less to us what the circumstances were at the time, and more, on how well they are handled by us. This indeed is the advice given by St. Paul in his letter to the Ephesians, Chapter 5, verses 15 and 16:

“Be careful then how you live, not as unwise people but as wise; making the most of the time, because the days are evil.”

The world has always been a very complex, demanding and difficult environment for its inhabitants, and happiness or even survival is not ever guaranteed. Each inhabitant must find the best and most efficient way to survive adequately by taking from it what he is capable of using. Nothing comes automatically and there are no entitlements, but much is possible provided one is willing to identify one’s dreams and wishes, and is prepared to accept the hardships and the frustrations that may come along. There is no way of predicting the outcome until it arrives. There is no guarantee that all the effort will succeed, and by the same token, nothing will be achieved from copying others. Some people are able to make the most of their lives no matter the situation that they find themselves in, while others equally disposed, cannot seem to deal with the easiest of situations. The difference rests not on the circumstances, but on the individual. The former will grasp every the opportunity offered to the fullest, while the latter, for a multitude of reasons, will fail to seize even the simplest of them.

But in principle this need not be so, for it is possible for everyone to make their lives much more meaningful and rewarding. It requires first, recognition of one’s weaknesses and then taking steps to correct them. Equally, it requires accepting the reality of the circumstances existing and then using this knowledge as a springboard to make changes that will go a long way to get to the quality of life desired. Further, it demands living for today only, and avoiding dwelling on the past or lingering in the future to avoid failure and to ensure stability. And it requires actively tackling the obstacles and the fears that surround the current issues, and not wasting time wishing they were not there. Above all, knowing and accepting who you are, with all your strengths and weaknesses, and avoiding trying to be someone else, will instill the confidence and security in you to take the necessary risks and not be afraid of failure but in fact, use them as lessons to be better.

In the end, you will only succeed to get the most out of your life when you grab the opportunities offered rather than wait for something better to come along. Nature is not designed to be flexible or to accommodate the special needs of anyone, or any alternative. It rests entirely in the hands of each individual to get the most they can out of their life by choosing to live the best way they can. In this context I am reminded of an ancient poem by the Classical Sanskrit author, Kalidasa, written in the 4^th century CE, which remains as current and as relevant now as it was in his time:

“Look to this day, for yesterday is only a dream,
and tomorrow is only a vision.

But today well-lived, makes every yesterday a dream of happiness, and every tomorrow a vision of hope.
Look well, therefore, to this day.”

--Life will be so much more meaningful if we can all heed this advice and spend all our time taking care of our garden, and avoid looking at our neighbor’s garden!

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