CHOOSING WHEN TO ACT

 “Don't make promises when you are in joy.

Don't reply when you are sad.

Don't make decisions when you are angry.

Think twice before you act.”

                                          

One of the most common shortcomings of human beings all over the world is the inconsistency of their responses. In their haste to please others, or their zeal to safeguard themselves and secure good feelings, they tend to arrive at decisions without due regard to the prevailing circumstances, and then risk having to regret them later. Too often they respond impulsively without considering the results or the likely consequences, only to falter, fall and then be sorry for their actions.

        

The above observation, by an Author who is unknown, speaks clearly and precisely to this and offers advice that has indeed stood the test of time. It makes good sense to avoid responding or reacting impulsively whenever we are under the influence of any kind of emotional pressure. Because when we do so, we open ourselves to making mistakes. Our decisions are likely to be more impulsive than reasoned, and our response more reactive, rather than considered. In every aspect of our life, if we are not careful we are exposed to countless opportunities to react, to become angry, or to do and say things which may come back to hurt us later. And when we allow this to take place we are in effect giving up our inner control and allowing external forces to influence us. This could never be productive under any circumstances.

Napoleon Hill, one of America’s most successful self-help authors and public speakers, spoke extensively on this subject. He cautioned the need to always think carefully to avoid any possibility of being misunderstood. He went further when he advised:

   “Think twice before you speak because your words and influence will plant the seed of either success or of failure in the mind of another.”

This advice is especially relevant in today’s society with its increasing modern technical advances, where events are changing with such rapidity that the temptation to act without thinking is so great. With the increasing sophistication in communication and the ease with which news can be disseminated, people can easily fall victim to making decisions and reacting impulsively without due deliberation. This undoubtedly is a sure recipe for failure, and then regretting that so commonly happens. Bob Dylan, one of the foremost exponents of American folk lore, music and song, effectively summarized this dilemma in the following words:

“People seldom do what they believe in.

 They just do what is convenient; and they

 then regret it.”

Far too often, we have seen incidents of decisions taken and actions carried out only to find later a wrong was committed and one is left with either regretting the mistakes or finding excuses to justify them. Hence the advice to think twice before acting is so important. By doing so we reduce the chance of inappropriate responses and as a result, we avoid a great deal of unnecessary pain and disappointment.

Most of the time, we are motivated to action by the fear of missing out on an opportunity to achieve, or that by not acting quickly, we feel we may be left behind. This to me, reflects the psychological attitude of an immature and unfulfilled mind searching for support, wanting to do anything to stay with the crowd; A type of response that surely guarantees you becoming the victim every time. Indeed, this is the secret weapon of all the successful “con artists”, pressure salesmen and some politicians who have caused severe social havoc on an unsuspecting, trusting public.

In years gone by, in the early centuries, especially during the Greco-Roman  era, people associated fate, success, status and wealth of an individual as a special gift from the Gods responsible for people’s behavior. The Romans turned to the Goddess Fortuna and the Greeks favored their Goddess, Tyche. They were prepared to accept the outcome of interactions as the work of their God who favored some and rejected others. Guilt and disappointment was therefore not considered a major consequence. But with the advent of the Judeo-Christian religions, the concept of each person possessing a free will to choose for himself, naturally led to the general acceptance that the individual controls his own destiny by what they did or said. This meant that the individual was held responsible for his action and could not lay blame at the feet of a God.

In fact, there is still a school of thought that does not accept the concept of action only after deliberate rationalization. These are the Spontaneous Reactors, who are convinced that the right approach to achieve maximum success is that when the opportunity presents itself, you must stop thinking and act at once. They believe that they can trust their instincts to do the right thing. They insist that there is ample evidence throughout the ages of great leaders, entrepreneurs, inventors and businessmen who have achieved great heights in this way. They reason that if you stop to think before you act then the opportunity will be lost.

 But this kind of thinking will invariably prove to be misguided and unlikely to bear fruit in the long run. Warren Buffett, one of the richest and most successful investors the world has ever seen, is a good example of a person whose actions appear on the surface to be dramatic and occasionally precipitous, but in fact, this belies a careful, meticulous action that continues until a decision is made and action taken. His famous remark when asked the secret of success is always:

“You do not need to be a genius, but you need to take the time to understand what you are doing.”

    There is no doubt that wisdom comes only from experience and most of our experience will teach us to avoid those things we may have been able to avoid in the first place. It is not necessary to make mistakes to learn from them, but if one takes time to stop and deliberate over the situation, one’s past experience will help to find the answers and avoid making mistakes. You do not need to be told that you cannot jump out of a plane without a parachute and in the same way you must not jump into any conclusion without the appropriate safety gear. Ernest Hemingway, the great American Nobel Laureate summarized this situation very effectively when he advised:

Before you act, listen. Before you read, think.

Before you spend, earn. Before you criticize, wait.

Before you pray, forgive. Before you quit, try!”

-We will all do very well to always remember this, whenever we have to make decisions.

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