FIRST LOOK AT YOURSELF

“Monkey never see his own tail.”

 This interesting statement is a long established part of the West Indian Islands Folklore. It is a basic comment on human behavior and refers specifically to the general tendency of people who are quick to point out other people’s faults, without any regard to their own baggage.

                                                                                                      

Most people are reluctant to search out their own faults. Both subjectively and objectively, they prefer to search out possible faults in everyone around them instead. They do this subconsciously mainly as a way of trying to protect themselves against potential attacks from others. Few people are either concerned about, nor are they even prepared to admit their own faults, preferring instead to lay blame on external factors. This is not only a very basic human failing but also is interestingly deeply embedded throughout the animal kingdom.

Some anthropologists have strongly argued that this very clearly seen in nature by the fact that our eyes are set in our heads in such a way that we can see the faults in others far better than we can see in ourselves. We were predestined to do so since it is impossible to turn our gaze inwards without use of reflecting assistance. Psychologists have explained that this approach is the only way we have to deal with our own internal insecurities. We try to find some relief by believing the argument that if others around us have faults then somehow we do not. We readily find justification in the argument that: “since they are wrong then we must be right.”

                                                                                                      

Presently there is more than enough fault-finding in this world. At all levels of society and in countless ways, people seem determined to do little else. Nothing seems to please them as much as decrying other people at home, at work and in everything they do. They fault what others may believe in and how they chose to live. It is therefore no surprise to find that so much misunderstanding and animosity existing in the world presently, with much of this leading to such catastrophic consequences. How can the world ever be at peace when people are rejected for any variation they may exhibit from the current “norm” in appearance, in choice, in belief or in behavior?

 There is an old Arab fable that is often repeated to illustrate this misunderstanding and lack of appreciation of this truth;

 An old donkey belonging to a poor farmer found its way into the King’s stable where it wandered around before it was chased out. When he got back, the farmer asked him if it was true that the palace was full of wonderful things like gold, fine furniture and good food. The donkey surprisingly replied that was not true, all he saw was stables, dirt and hay, no different from his own stable.

This, in fact, is the way that people view one another. They see only the flaws and the negatives around them, and never make the effort to search for the good things just beyond their view.

It is this distorted perception that is the root cause of so much misunderstanding, misinterpretation and lack of trust that exists today. So long as we insist on viewing everything through tinted lens then we invariably assume the whole world must be tinted. Because of this we refuse to acknowledge when we are told that everything within our view appears different. Since we reject their explanation, we must conclude that they are wrong and therefore by inference, we must be right. This is why it becomes so difficult to persuade people that their perception may be compromised, until they are able to recognize the fundamental cause of the distortion. As the quotation implies, until the Monkey actually examines his own tail, he will never believe that the fault lies there.

The real truth is that most of the time the faults which we see in others, and are quick to criticize, are the very same ones which are present in us and we try hard to suppress or deny. This is why we need to question ourselves carefully before passing judgment on others. It is so important to recognize that before committing ourselves we must first examine ourselves with a clear lens. We must determine that our view is not distorted by tinted lenses and if they are, then we must remove them before viewing others. Mahatma Gandhi, the great Indian leader and guru made this clear when he declared:

“I look only to the good qualities in men. Not being faultless, I won’t presume to probe into the faults of others.”

But there are some people who insist on looking at others only for the faults they can find. They visit only the stable and they insist on seeing only the dirt and hay, and make no effort to go further into the castle to see all the beauty and riches. They never look for the goodness and kindness in others but seek out the flaws and the blemishes in them. They are present in every society and are the ones who cause such unnecessary harm, disharmony and suffering wherever they go. Og Mandino, the great American author whose book, The Greatest Salesman in the World, has sold more than 50 million copies so far, was in fact describing this situation when he observed that:

“Nothing is easier than fault-finding. All it would do is to discolor my personality so that no one will associate with me.”

          He implied that when we continue to see faults in others, we miss the opportunity to see the beauty and goodness all around us. And when we chose to look for the good things in people we are less likely to see evil in everything. Alternatively if we never look for the good in others we will have no difficulty in finding the faults. It is this mental habit of judging others that is the root cause of the insecurities, and it is this action that needs to be corrected. Only then can we really enjoy the joys and satisfaction of the true life meant for us. Only then can we truly be ourselves and do what is necessary to get the best we can out of life.

Jesus Christ in the Sermon on the Mount firmly and deliberately drew attention to this type of behavior and warned us of the consequences of such action in Matthew 7:1-5:

“Do not judge, or you too will be judged.
 For in the same way as you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.
 “Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye?
 How can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when all the time there is a plank in your own eye?
 You hypocrite! First take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye.”

It will do us all well to take heed of this advice and take steps to correct ourselves with regards to our views of our neighbors. The rewards we receive will be meaningful and tangible to ourselves and to our relationships, both in the present and in the hereafter. As the Dwight D. Eisenhower, the Supreme Commander of the Allied forces that conquered the mighty German army in WW11 and subsequently elected the 34^th President of the US, so effectively advised:

“Don’t join the book burners. Don’t think you are going to conceal your faults by concealing evidence that they ever existed.”

-No better advice than this is available!

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