ACCEPTING RESPONSIBILITY

“The ability to accept responsibility is the true measure of the man”

These clear and dramatic words delivered by Roy L. Smith, the very well respected American evangelist and author during a lecture in 1986, summarizes the power of accepting responsibility is on the image of a man. It reflects in no uncertain manner, the importance and the tremendous impact that taking responsibility plays in the life of the individual.

These sentiments have been echoed in endless variations by a multitude of other people over the centuries of man’s existence confirming its genuine validity. Dr. Elizabeth Kubler-Ross for example, the internationally acclaimed Swiss-American Psychiatrist whose ground breaking work on death and dying pioneered a whole new approach in the end-of-life care responsibilities by physicians and other caregivers, in effectively describing her own personal beliefs and life story of devotion to the causes she deeply believed in, and her commitment to accept responsibility for her successes and her failures stated:

“I believe that we are solely responsible for our choices, and we have to accept the consequences of every deed, word, and thought throughout our lifetime”

         Unquestionably, the ability to accept responsibility for any action contemplated or undertaken by anyone is one of the fundamental principles for ensuring a rewarding and fulfilled life. Throughout their lives, people are constantly faced with new situations, decisions or choices which require some type of response as part of daily living. The response that results is always a good indication of the caliber of the individual. The great majority of people tend to respond in very similar ways; they happily take credit and seek appreciation for those decisions or actions that turn out right, but quickly look to other people or circumstances to blame if the results are disappointing or challenging. People are reluctant to admit that most prefer to feel that everything negative that happens to them is someone else’s fault and every problem they encounter can be readily excused by directing attention away from themselves. They pay little attention to the fact that this fundamental unwillingness to take responsibility for their thoughts and actions does substantial psychological harm to them and prevents them from growing and achieving their optimum potential.

         The basic instinctual response related to accepting responsibility for our actions and behaviors appears o be an innate personality trait deeply embedded in the psyche, which can be significantly modified by external influences such as learning, experience and example. Together they form an integral unit in the individual’s personality make-up and as such, can influence subsequent behavior. While most people generally possess enough responsibility to allow them to function adequately in their society, there is a significant number of others who have such reduced or absent levels that renders their behavior difficult, anti-social or even pathological. These Sociopathic and Psychopathic Personalities are characterized by a very low sense or feeling of responsibility causing them to function in negative and anti-social ways and to continue to repeat the behavior over and over without any guilt or remorse. These are the individuals who spend their lives taking advantage of other people and situations around them, and are unaffected by criticism and rejection by the rest of society. H. G. Wells, the prolific British science fiction author, critic and social commentator, in his eloquent and very searching language, described this type of person in the following terms:

“He is one of those weak creatures, void of pride, timorous, anemic, hateful souls, full of shifty cunning, who face neither God or man, who face not even themselves.”

         Accepting responsibility is precisely the opposite of this definition.  It fundamentally entails the taking ownership of one’s own behavior, and being willing to stand by the resulting benefits and the consequences of the behavior. Unless one is willing to accept the responsibility for both his successes and his failures, and to stand by them, he would find it exceedingly difficult to secure his own identity and self-respect, and even less, gain the respect of others. Without these attributes, true personal success is almost impossible to achieve or maintain. Further, the good effect derived from this behavior is not only in the immediate satisfaction experienced, but even more than this, is the encouragement it provides for further growth and confidence. Clint Eastwood, the extraordinary successful American actor, director, author and political activist, whose whole life is a model of determined actions and accepting responsibility, quite often against the objection of his peers, placed this in the right context when he declared:

Respect your efforts, respect yourself. Self-respect leads to self-discipline, and when you have both these under your belt, that’s real power!”

            But exercising responsible behavior does not develop as naturally as in the acts of breathing and hearing, but requires exposure and experience rather like learning to speak, in order to reach maximum potential. The final product depends both on the genetic factor as on the external influences to which the individual is exposed. Like speaking, the individual exposed to the correct milieu, where established standards are maintained and examples of behavior abound, will naturally tend to follow the examples and act likewise. A child exposed to an environment where exacting standards of responsible behavior are expected and practiced is more likely to repeat the behavior and maintain the standards. This type of behavior can never be forced upon the individual, but will only flourish in someone who is able to appreciate the need to take ownership of all his actions. Anybody will be happy to accept success and good news, but it takes a strong, determined character to successfully cope with adversities and failure by accepting responsibilities and moving forward. Calvin ‘Les’ Brown, the popular American inspirational speaker, author and politician whose life story of success was a constant drive to rise up against a variety of obstacles was very clear when he observed:

“If you take responsibility for yourself, you will develop a hunger to accomplish your dreams.”

         A failure to accept responsibility for one’s actions however is not always simply due, as is often suggested, to conscious attempts to deceive or be malicious. Rather, it may reflect an underlying insecurity that leads to low self-esteem, low conscientiousness, antagonistic manipulation and denial. These people become conditioned to believe that by taking responsibility they may be admitting to weakness and loss of control and as such, they may lose some of their importance and value. Sadly, once this pattern of refusal to accept responsibility is repeated it quickly transforms into a habit and the person evolves into someone who is irresponsible, dissatisfied, unreliable, manipulative and readily suspicious of other people’s intentions. This often leads to a sense of arrogance and prejudice which can effectively undermine trust in the action of others, and sabotage any attempt at accepting further responsibility. It is this deep insecurity that makes any effort to correct them an almost impossible task, and sabotages any effort at rehabilitation. This is also the reason why so many  potentially good and helpful people are lost to society despite every good intention. As an Unknown Author reminded us all in an often repeated quotation that:

“You will never become the person you want to be, if you keep blaming everyone else for who you are.”

         But accepting responsibility cannot possibly be considered to be complete if it deals exclusively with satisfying individual’s needs. There is the broader issue of satisfying the needs of all those who live and share our environment. In its broadest sense it implies that we are all entrusted with the safety and protection of one another, and of improving the world we all share. Albert Einstein, the great German-American mathematician and theoretical physicist whose theory of relativity dramatically influenced the philosophy and direction of science, and a committed humanist and pacifist, drew attention to this in the following statement:

“I believe we are all here to do good. It is the responsibility of every human being to aspire to do something worthwhile, to make the world a better place than the one we found.”

It is this sense of Social Responsibility that is so sadly lacking in the world today. In our determined desire to take as much as we can, avoid collective responsibility for our actions for as long as possible and ignore the legitimate rights and claims of others who differ from us, we are guilty of abandoning responsibility and paying the price with global conflicts, suspicion and suffering.

Pope Francis, the current pontiff of the Roman Catholic Church, recorded in his encyclical ‘The joy of the Gospel’, in 2014 the following observation which was a total indictment of the lack of responsibility in today’s world:  

“Almost without being aware of it, we end up being incapable of feeling compassion at the outcry of the poor, weeping for other people’s pains, and feeling a need to help them. It is as though all this were someone else’s responsibility and not our own.”

This indeed is the price we pay for failing to accept responsibility in everything we think or do throughout our lives.

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