“Worrying
is like sitting in a rocking chair. It gives you something to do, but will not
get you anywhere.”
The
above quotation, an Old
English Proverb, has been copied and used by numerous authors
and speakers all over the world and has become a universally accepted truth. It
very precisely explains that worrying, while keeping one occupied, does not get
anyone anywhere or get anything done.
To
worry per se, is not necessarily an unnatural response, especially if it
relates to a perceived problem requiring action. Legitimate worries about matters needing a decision
or solution are considered to be part of normal living provided they go
away on resolution. Worry becomes a matter of concern when it involves negative
and unproductive thoughts, emotions and ideas that occur in a repetitive,
uncontrolled manner that appear in response to a perceived risk that may or may
not be real. It is often associated with absent or ineffective attempts to
solve or avoid the anticipated threats or potential consequences. Rather than
serving to stimulate and help the individual to find a solution and reduce the
threat, this worry serves only to impede attempts and amplify the threats. In basic
terms, it serves directly to interfere with normal mental activities by robbing
or cheating the individual out of normal living. Its effect has been very
graphically and correctly described by Mary Boardman Page, in her book published in 1899
entitled, “The Confessions of
a Worrier,” when she observed:
“So,
far from stimulating and helping us to action, it cheats us and robs us of our
strength. What friction is to mechanical machinery, worry is to the mental
world.”
In similar
vane, Bishop Arthur Somers
Roche, a prominent British Roman Catholic clergyman who presently
serves in the secretariat in the Vatican, described all the
encompassing effect of worrying in these exquisite terms:
“Worry
is a thin stream of fear trickling through the mind. If encouraged, it cuts a
channel into which all other thoughts are drained.”
In psychological terms, worry is
part of a collective category of thought processes called Perseverative Cognition. This is typically defined as the continuous thinking about
negative events and topics in the past or in the future, and includes worry,
brooding, rumination and mind-wandering. If allowed to continue, worrying can
have relatively severe physiological effects on all the bodily systems and can
often give rise to cardiovascular, respiratory, gastrointestinal and mental
dysfunction. It can precipitate severe anxiety and depressive episodes and
cause substantial stress in every aspect of living. In addition, if it continues it can give
rise to a number of severe behavioral problems causing serious compromise to
normal life. The symptoms tend to become progressively worse and often lead
to complete withdrawal in the most severe cases.
No
one knowingly ever deliberately chooses to worry to this extent on their own volition,
without some reason. But for the many who find themselves unable to cope with
the special demands of living, worrying becomes a blanket of security they can
use to hide themselves from their perceived dangers. This is especially so, in the
face of underlying insecurities and a history of previous failures, where the
thought of having a blanket, however ineffective it may be, is a familiar and
comforting safety net. Once this has started, it can quickly become an entrenched
and habitual pattern that is utilized even when the victim may fully recognize
that this action is ineffective and even destructive.
The continued use of worrying
will have the deleterious effect of distorting present conditions and suppressing any chance of using appropriate actions. It has the effect of ignoring
the present circumstances while being locked in reviewing the past or
projecting into the future, and dwelling on the way things can go wrong. This
type of projective thinking does absolutely nothing to resolve the impasse in the present,
but only serves to induce stress, uncertainty and anxiety. The Conflict of
mind that takes over was described many centuries ago in his writings by Seneca, the Spanish born, Roman stoic philosopher,
statesman and author who lived during the 1st century AD, when in a
simple but dramatic observation he wrote:
“We suffer more in imagination than in
reality.”
An
Unknown Author, in trying to explain to true impact of
worrying on an individual, once
described the fundamental effects in a simple but very effective manner:
“Worry
is a complete cycle of inefficient thought revolving about a pivot of fear”
:
This to me accurately
describes the true reason for the deleterious effects that result from
worrying. Over the span of a lifetime, worry can squander a significant part of
the average individual’s life spent in useless activity; especially since that
precious time is lost forever from dealing with the demands of the situation at
the time. By not trying to do so, will
set in motion a series of uncontrolled, unhelpful reactions as the mind and
body is thrown into overdrive, aimlessly focusing on what could happen rather
than taking the appropriate steps towards resolution. It triggers an automatic response,
setting in motion thoughts and actions completely out of proportion to the
current events. This will expose a series of exaggerated, irrelevant and
mischievous ruminations and fears that overwhelm normal thinking and dwells
more on failure and vulnerability. Quickly compounding this, are the developing
physical stress reactions which have the end result of rendering the individual
helplessly at the mercy of circumstances.
Terri Guillemets, the
exceptionally gifted American Quotation
Anthologist, who began collecting quotations at the early age of
13 years and launched her extremely successful website ‘THE Quote Garden” less
than a decade later, made the following observation in her publication:
“Worry chokes off the air supply of living joy.”
These words have always impressed me for their
down-to-earth relevance and accuracy. They were clearly spoken by one who has
already been there and lived it. Once under its control, the individual
undergoes a slow and crippling metamorphosis clearly visible in all the subsequent
thoughts, words and actions. It’s the incessant needling thoughts of gloom and
failure that never stop, making it impossible to think or concentrate on the task
at hand and rendering the individual incapable of making decisions. He is
virtually crippled, unable to do even the most basic function without
undergoing an endless series of second guessing and asking himself: “What if…?”
He becomes obsessed with fear and disappointment that quickly engulfs every
aspect of his life. In the worst cases these people become emotional cripples
with severe, debilitating physical symptoms.
Dale
Carnegie, one of America’s most successful lecturers
and authors and a leader the field of self-help movement, reminded us clearly
of the ultimate price we pay, when he advised:
"Remind yourself of the exorbitant price you can pay for worry in terms of your health. 'Those who do not know how to fight worry, die young.”
This
type of worrying, if left unchecked can evolve into a serious pathological pattern
not unlike that of the drug addict, where insight and control is overwhelmed by
the need to satisfy internal emotional demands. The victims are locked in their
own prison where perceived fears and inadequacy completely dominate reason and
good sense, and where any attempt to help is dismissed by the overriding fear
of failure. Once established, change can only be achieved after a long and
tedious process of reciprocal inhibition where understanding and insight
is first established, followed by the slow process of emotional desensitizing.
It will take much time and effort, but like addiction, success is possible.
Unfortunately, the victims of
excessive worrying spend all their lives in anxious anticipation of what might
happen, and in so doing lose much of the joy and happiness that life has to
offer. This indeed, is the severe price they pay without receiving any reward.
The real tragedy is that since most of the factors causing the underlying
symptoms are exaggerated and unreliable, these people suffer untold misery for
little or no reason at all. This is precisely what Sir Winston S. Churchill, the great English statesman who led the nation
to success over Nazi Germany during WWII, implied when he wrote:
“When I look back at all these worries, I remember
the story of the old man who said on his deathbed that he had had a lot of
worries in his life, most of which had never happened.”
The truth of this statement rings
loud and clear to all who can hear it, but unfortunately the worrier very
rarely does.
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