FACING THE TRUTH

“You will know the truth,

and the truth will set you free.”

           

            This very basic and fundamental advice is contained in the Holy Bible in John chapter 8, verse 32. It is to my mind, one of the most important messages delivered to us by Jesus Christ, yet unfortunately one of the most neglected by mankind. It is a message to which very few people give anything but passing acknowledgment in their daily living, but yet one which represents their most important salvation not only in the present life, but equally after they have departed.

         By far the hardest truth anyone of us will ever want to face is the truth about ourselves. We all, with the possible exception of a very few exceptionally endowed people, will not hesitate to do whatever we can to keep from facing the hard truth about ourselves. It is so much easier, and more rewarding, to pretend that we are whom we think we should be, and do our very best to get others to agree with us. No one will deny that it is never an easy undertaking to freely accept the truth from others, and then having to deal with the exposed weaknesses and the failures that result. We are always eager to receive rewards for what we think we have accomplished, and even happier to project them to others, but much more reluctant to accept being told the truth when we fail. We seem determined to ignore the unquestionable fact that the truth is the way things actually are, not the way we think they ought to be or wished they should be. Carl Jung, the eminent Swiss physician, psychiatrist and one of the founders of the school of psycho-analysis very clearly understood and applied this in treating his patients, when he would remind them:

“People will do anything, no matter how absurd, to avoid facing there own souls.”

Most people believe that the reason someone avoids facing the truth is to deliberately distort or deceive their true images, and project   more favorable ones instead. But this is very far from being correct. The real truth is that people actually try to avoid facing the truth much more out of a deep subconscious inability to cope with their own insecurities, and the fears of what will follow in the resulting fallout. Quite often, the action is undertaken quite impulsively, without knowledge or intent. To accept the truth implies a willingness to expose one’s deepest fears and weaknesses to the full glare of scrutiny. It requires a degree of security and confidence enough to withstand the criticisms and ridicules of others, while defending one’s own positions. It means also having the courage to recognize that in doing so, they may be wrong and that their ‘truth’ was in need of correction. Oprah Winfrey, one of America’s most successful female entrepreneurs, TV host and actress, recognized this fact very early in her career and made full use of it in building her enviable empire. On many occasions in discussions she will often make reference to the following quotation:

“The thing you fear most has no power.

Your fear of it is what has the power.

Facing the truth really will set you free.”

But facing the truth is never an easy task for any one of us to undertake, even under the most favorable conditions possible. From its very inception, the human race has survived and flourished on the basic principle of unrelenting change and competition, and the principle of survival of the fittest. This demanded the development of defense mechanisms designed far more to impress and to protect the   individual and ensure its survival, and far less to reveal possible flaws or weaknesses. This necessitated the need to learn to project the images of confidence and worthiness while denying as much as possible, any appearance of weakness or of susceptibility. It is not surprising therefore that most people will reflexively take whatever action they can to avoid having to face any negative impact on their self-image, and certainly resist any truth that may do so.

Hearing the truth about yourself being told to others therefore is a very difficult undertaking under any circumstances for anyone to accept. This is especially so for the majority of people who spend all their lives diligently trying to construct ‘falsehoods’ to shield them-selves from the pain and disappointments of failing, and who have carefully molded ‘images’ of who they think they should be. To risk losing this and expose themselves to the possibility of destroying all the fantasies they spent so many years developing, is something that few of them are able to summon the courage to do. To compound this, very few people indeed are ever ready to throw out their established ideas and be willing to accept other more contradictory ideas, just because they are told these are true. Friedrich Nietzche, the great German philosopher, poet and cultural critic, whose works have exerted very strong influence on Western philosophy, summarized this vey neatly when he observed:

“People don’t want to hear the truth, because they don’t want their illusions destroyed.”

      

       Even with the very best intentions, people who have spent most of their lives believing in a certain image of themselves and who are determined to maintain this image in order to shield themselves from being judged, humiliated or ridiculed, will find it an almost impossible task to accept the truth. But even more than this, is the undeniable fact that most people, for a variety of reasons, do not or cannot handle the truth about themselves. The immortal words uttered in open court by Colonel Jessop, in the famous court scene in the 1992 cinematic masterpiece by Aaron Sorkin: “A Few Good Men” actually spoke very clearly to all of us when he challenged us with the statement:

“You want the truth!?

You can’t handle the truth!”

Nobody wants to be told that their lives are going wrong because of their own doing or thinking, and no one ever enjoys being criticized and ridiculed for saying “No” when they should be saying “Yes.” And even when we do recognize that we are deliberately trying to avoid having to face the truth, it takes a great deal of effort and soul-searching to persuade ourselves to correct the action

         Perhaps the most prominent example of people’s reaction on being told the truth in recent times occurred in 1995 following the successful overthrow of the Apartheid regime in South Africa by Nelson Mandela. A Truth and Reconciliation Commission under the co-chairmanship of the highly respected Archbishop Desmond Tutu was set up to specifically bring out the truth of all the atrocities that had been committed, with the hope of healing the nation. After 2 years, more than 15,000 testimonies and over 3,500 pages of published   information presented in open court with access to everyone, the final results produced only moderately positive changes in attitude, but unfortunately a general agreement that “the levels of distress and anger correlated inversely with subsequent forgiveness.” Although the results were helpful to the health of the new nation, it was not as helpful to the health of the individual victims, especially those who were subjected to hearing the truth about themselves from others and trying to defend their actions.

         Most people are able to hide the risk of having to face the horrendous truths about themselves by concealing them behind walls of excuses which they concoct and believe. They will then do anything they can think of to keep them covered not only from others, but even from themselves. The recent example of this was seen when Dr. Larry  Nassar, a highly respected Team physician for the successful US Olympic gymnastic team who was recently accused and found guilty of abusing more than 300 female gymnasts under his care. He initially vehemently denied the allegation of deliberate abuse, believing and defending the fact, that he “considered vaginal penetration was part of his medical treatment.” Unfortunately this type of behavior is by no means unique and limited to a few distorted people. In fact, in one way or another, everyone of us are guilty of trying to hide anything we consider might be unacceptable truths under blankets of deceit, and then hope that no one will find them. We have yet to learn the truth of that immortal statement by an unknown author that simply but very correctly notes:

“You can run with a lie, but you can’t hide from the truth.

Sooner or later, it will catch you.”

But merely recognizing the lie we tell ourselves and then facing up to the truth that we have been avoiding for so long is never an easy task nor is it ever enough by itself to correct the situation. The world overflows with examples of people giving lip service to the idea of facing the truth, while continuing to reap their rewards from continued deception. One has only to look at activities of so many of the world’s leaders in any aspect of life, whether religious, politics, information, finance, legal or business, to see that in most instances, their ‘truth’ is what suits them or is most convenient to them. Many people are convinced that this deliberate distortion of truth to accommodate personal aims and achievements is the fundamental engine that drives civilization. As, for that matter, are the activities of so many of us who find ourselves having to justify actions that are strictly not truthful, but rewarding nevertheless. It brings to mind that often repeated quote on the definition of truth for which no source has been identified:

“There are always three sides to any story; Mine, Yours, and the Real Truth.”

Buddha, in his teachings, always insisted that however we tried,p “there are only three things that cannot be hidden: the sun, the moon and the truth.” Facing the truth that we have been avoiding for whatever reason whatsoever, is the only way there is to look at our self in a mirror and see our true self reflecting back. This is the surest way to find out who you really are, and to stand firm and proud of the real image that is showing. By recognizing the lies we tell ourselves and others, and at the same time finding the courage to admit to them, we will go a long way to healing ourselves and relinquishing the need to build elaborate defenses to protect us from the truth. But Buddha himself, in his eminent wisdom, warned us of the dangers of doing so without being fully prepared to go all the way, when he warned:

There are only two mistakes one can make along the road to truth; not going all the way and not starting.”

W. Clement Stone, the extremely successful American businessman, philanthropist and inspirational author, who’s beginning   from a very underprivileged background to attain national prominence, is a testament of his belief in the truth, never hesitated to declare his belief on this requisite for success by declaring:

“Have the courage to say no. Have the courage to face the truth. Do the right thing, because it’s the right thing to do.

These are the magic keys to living your life with integrity.”

-The greatest reason for not being able to face our truths is the fear we   hold in our hearts that we are somehow unworthy to be who we are. But if we firmly believe that we are chosen children of God, made in his own image, there can be no reason whatsoever to question ourselves and our courage to always face the truth.

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