“Most people do not really want freedom, because
freedom involves responsibility; and people are afraid of responsibility.”
This
profound and far reaching observation was originally made by the great Austrian
born neurologist Sigmund Freud, the founder
and acknowledged father of the School
of Psychoanalysis. In his own right, Freud spent a great
deal of his life in the philosophical study of human behavior and in trying to
understand the reasons for the behavior. He insisted that because of the fears
instilled by their unconscious minds, people are afraid to accept
responsibility for their behavior, and choose instead, to allow others to do so
for them, or look for reasons or excuses to avoid having to do so.
I have always been a strong proponent of this
view, and I am convinced that that this subconscious
fear of accepting responsibility plays, and has always played, a
substantial role in the causation and the continuation of so many behavioral
problems in the world. Most of the time, when anyone of us is confronted with a
new situation in our life, or an obstacle standing in our way, we tend to quickly
take credit when we overcome them successfully, but will do everything we can
to avoid having to cope with the other, less favorable, situations that may
arise. We will happily seek appreciations and take credit for the good things,
but we are quick to find excuses or blame others for any problems or challenges
standing in our way. This unwillingness to take responsibility for the negative
parts of our life is the single most destructive action we can ever undertake.
Unquestionably, it is a major reason for preventing us from progressing,
growing and reaching our maximum levels of success and satisfaction.
Only
by taking full responsibility for his life that one is able to derive the full
benefits of living, to make full use of the opportunities available, and to
avoid the feelings of inadequacy and disappointment that accompany negative
situations. For by taking responsibility for one’s actions, there will be no
need to find excuses or trying to blame others for the failed experiences. Responsible
behavior will serve only to enhance one’s ability to do more and strive harder.
It will hand the person the power to be the best he is capable of being, to
avoid the stagnation so often precipitated by the underlying fear and perceived
inadequacy. Even better, such actions serve to reinforce his drive to secure
change in order to achieve more and live better. Change will never take effect if
a man loses the courage to accept responsibility. Dr. Robert Anthony, the very well respected American
psychotherapist and motivational speaker, endorsed this observation most
effectively when he advised:
“When you blame others, you give up
the power to change.”
No
one can ever hope to truly understand himself or his actions without being in
full control of his inner being. This requires a full understanding of the true
inner self. Only by knowing essentially who you are, and not who you would want
to be like, and above all, by being truly honest to yourself, will you not want
or need to find reasons to make excuses. By avoiding any need to cover up the fear
of failure by blaming others or by finding excuses to justify your actions, and
instead accepting the responsibility to search out the reasons for the failure
when it takes place, you not only grow in confidence, but you effectively take
control of yourself and of your destiny. This gift of responsibility, once acquired, will give you the freedom to
fully take control of yourself. It will provide you with the true awareness of
the powers you possess, and serve to shape your life and your relationship with
others. Zig Ziglar, an influential
American motivational speaker, very beautifully described this effect in these
words:
“Your life is like an echo. What you choose to send
out will determine what you get back.”
But
taking responsibility is neither an innate ability of the human spirit, nor is
an automatic characteristic. Although people may inherit some traits and
attitudes that may encourage the self-confidence essential for the expression
of responsibility, its full manifestation can only take place in a milieu of
experience, example and learning from others, where correct actions are
rewarded and others, punished. The natural animal instinct, driven by the need
for self-gratification, actually discourages the acceptance of responsibility
and encourages the opposite, of dominance and control. Responsibility is
therefore never passed on from generation to generation by right, but only by
individual determinism. Jawaharlal Nehru,
the great Indian independence activist and 1st prime minister of
the Republic of India, explained this very appropriately
when he observed:
“Life is like a game of cards. The hand dealt to
you is determinism, but the way you play it is free will.”
There is no stereotype that can readily predict or identify
the criteria necessary to act responsibly. By their very nature, people respond
differently to the same situation, and exercise different choices depending
less on the circumstances, and more on emotional thinking. Responsibility is
not just the ability to come up with creative and appropriate responses to the
situation, but also to be able to do so while projecting trust and consistency to
others. Choosing to act responsibly in challenging situations demands not only
knowledge and wisdom, but a degree of maturity to consider and deal with the
resulting rewards or consequences. Without this, it would be impossible to
accept blame for failures and to learn from them. Even when all appears lost,
it will require taking the responsibility to find the correct way out.
George O’Neil,
the American author and playwright who died in 1940, correctly summarized
the true meaning of taking responsibility when he wrote:
“When we have begun to take charge of our lives, to
own ourselves, there is no longer any need to ask permission of someone.”
This attitude was by no means lost by Sigmund
Freud, whose very last act on earth was to take the responsibility to end his
own life, when all else failed to treat the advancing cancer that had devoured his
body.
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