MAKING A DIFFERENCE

“It is not what you possess in life that makes you so important. 

 It is who you are, that makes the difference.”

                                                        

The above comment was made to me by my niece Sylvia, many years ago in the context of her late father’s impact on her life. He had only recently passed away following a long period of severe physical incapacity resulting from an unfortunate accident he had sustained.  

She insisted that her most important memories of him had nothing to do with the businesses he developed, nor the buildings he built, nor even the substantial reputation he had acquired from his peers during his lifetime; however formidable that they each might have been. To her, the true measure of this man was in the person he was. In his total devotion and commitment to his wife and his family, the care and concern for the welfare of those who worked for him, the respect he showed to everyone, irrespective of social or economic status, and above all else, in his genuine humanity. She insisted that while the businesses he built and the buildings he erected may change with time, the man he was and the reputation he has left behind will live on in the lives and minds of all those who knew and loved him.  To her, this is the most important value a man can possess, to make a difference in life; anything else about him will be secondary and less consequential.

There are of course, many who will not agree with this statement, and continue to praise those men and women who were astute enough to gain power and notoriety and build large followings of foolish, immature and misguided followers. These include many members of the entertainment and the sporting fraternities who spend their whole lives seeking selfish acquisition of fame and fortune without any regard to their morals or their humanity. No less are a significant number of leaders of the financial and business world,  “the 1% group”, who spend their whole lives amassing great fortunes and living exorbitant lives, but show little regard or concern toward the needy and less fortunate members of their community. By doing this, they ignore the real reason for their living on this earth. As Albert Schweitzer, the great Swiss physician and humanitarian so beautifully advised:

“Even if it is a little thing, do something for those who need of a man’s help, something for which you get no pay but the privilege of doing it. For remember you do not live in a world all your own. Your brothers are here too.”

Instead too many choose to live by the creed which totally disavows this advice and in its place confidently declare:

 “I have earned it myself, why should I share it with anyone!.”

But to me the pursuit of one’s humanity is paramount, and rises above all else. Our primary goal on this earth which we all share, is to make a difference and to leave it a little better than we found it. The act of setting aside one’s own ego with its insatiable demands, and instead, seeking the welfare of another individual or situation, whether solicited or unsolicited, is far more rewarding and satisfying to all who try. By doing so, by giving rather than demanding, we not only express our fundamental human spirit, but also acknowledge that there is indeed much more in life than merely the pursuit of greedy personal conveniences and the gratification of our selfish desires. This to me is what making a difference means. 

        

Victor Frankl, a fine example of a true humanitarian, whose life- story before, during, and after his internment by the Nazi Gestapo during World War II, is considered to be among the most outstanding examples of love and service to others. In his highly acclaimed and well received classic publication, “Man’s search for Meaning,” he recorded the following observation: 

“A man who becomes conscious of the responsibility he bears toward a human being, who affectionately waits for him, or to an unfinished work, can never throw away his life. He knows the ‘why’ for his existence, and will be able to wait for the ‘how’.”

He noted further that wherever he traveled in the world, he found that men can be readily divided into two separate and distinct classes irrespective of nationality, race, religion or social status. On the one hand, there are the selfish, who are guided by greed and personal self-gratification and by a desire to acquire all they can, in complete disregard of the hopes, needs and expectation of others. While the other is a group motivated by a love for others and a desire to protect and support as much as possible. Unlike the former group, they are not content to stand by while others are in need, and will do whatever needed, even without being asked. The members of this latter group, whose names and reputations have embellished the history books throughout the centuries, are defined by the values and the principles they lived by, and not by the monuments that may or may not bear their names. These are the people who have made a difference in their world.

        

One of the great tragedies of life is that so many people spend all their lives without ever experiencing the joy and satisfaction of living a life that makes a difference. They were so consumed with living the sort of life that society expected of them, and determined in trying to please other people at all cost, that they had no time to find their own personal fulfillment. Even more tragic is the fact that quite often they do this less by intention than out of ignorance because they were never given the opportunity to know or do better. Modern society with its determined drive to succeed more, to acquire more, to build more and to compete more, fails to recognize that true lasting rewards do not lie in the taking or accumulating, but rather in the giving and in the sharing. That true success is measured less by the results, and more by the effect on others. As Brian Tracy, the very successful Canadian inspirational speaker so succinctly observed:

“Successful people are always looking for opportunities to help others. Unsuccessful people are always asking: “What’s in it for me?”

This, and only this, is what makes the difference, and everything else in life are merely window dressings.

        

There is yet another factor to be considered in the making of a difference in our living. Each time an act is performed to assist another person, there is a direct cost involved to the doer. Some sort of a sacrifice is required whenever someone takes time or makes the effort to help another. He often is not aware of it, but he would have had to change or omit doing something for himself or risk loss of opportunity that may have arisen. This consideration is in fact what makes life more meaningful to the giver; For the satisfaction derived from giving of oneself, will have far more value and far more meaning than the satisfaction resulting for self-glorification and self-indulgence. The joy experienced by the giver is reward enough, and it is this joy that makes the difference.

Anthropologists have always recognized that this behavior characteristic is the one that separates man from the rest of the animal kingdom. Whereas an animal who achieves a kill will hoard it until it is completely satisfied, man on the other hand, prefers to share his bounty with the group. In the natural habitat, hoarding in any form is against the natural laws of human survival.  Selfishness and self-gratification only developed as a distinct human trait as society became more sophisticated, and more disintegrated into class and status differences. Instead of the general group welfare, it evolved into a survival of the fittest, or the luckiest, or the smartest or the wickedest. This attitude became more prominent as the society became more affluent and more complex. The more advanced the society became, the more pronounced the separation between the few who control and the rest of the members who serve appeared. -And the less important the difference mattered.

This to me, is the real shame of modern societies, with all their great advancements in knowledge, opportunity and conveniences. Instead of developing forward, man has indeed devolved backwards to the animal thinking. Instead of sharing the blessings and making a difference to the lives of all members, some men has chosen to hoard while others are left wanting. All of this is being confidently projected as occurring in the name of progress! What a shame that so many of us are too blind, or are courageous enough to take up our responsibilities and follow the right path in living.

We will all do well to take heed of those fine words recorded by the late Robert P. Kennedy on the night he was tragically assassinated by a disturbed Sirhan Sirhan:

“Each time a man stands up for an ideal, or acts to improve the lot of others, or strikes out against injustice, he sends forth a tiny ripple of hope, crossing each other from a million different centers of energy and daring those ripples to build a current which can sweep down the mightiest walls of oppression and resistance.”

But alas, instead of a current of goodwill sweeping away the mighty walls of oppression and resistance, we are choosing to build more walls, restrict more freedoms and use religion as a reason to kill and destroy.

-And we do this in the name of protecting modern civilization!

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