“There is a dignity in dying that no one should
dare to deny. For death begins with Life’s first breath”
This statement recorded by an Unknown Author has always been a clear and direct guide for me on
the delicate subject of death as the end of the journey of life. Its profound
simplicity and dramatic accuracy deserves much more than passing notice, especially
in these times when some scientists are trying to convince us that death can be
thwarted and life prolonged or possibly prevented. This denial of mortality, in
my mind, contravenes the very fundamental principle that although, by using our
abilities to think, explore and invent, we are capable of modifying the length
of life to some degree, we cannot deny the fact, that because of so many
variables beyond our control, any attempt to interfere with the cycle of life
and death will be an exercise in total futility.
Human Beings, unlike all the other members of the Animal
Kingdom, find it difficult to accept and adapt to the reality of dying and as a
result experience greater pain and suffering following the loss of another. The
animal, whether it is the mighty Lion or the humble Otter, will pause to
acknowledge the loss of a companion, and then continue along its way in search
of its next meal. Humans, by and large, are so preoccupied with the pleasures
of living and personal gratification that they ignore or suppress the reality
that death is inevitable, or worse, there are some who genuinely believe or
hope that they can somehow fool it. The result is that most of us arrive on
that final departure so unprepared and loaded down with so many unresolved regrets
that we tend to lose the real impact of the experience until the final moment
of departure has arrived. Death, instead of being an event that should be anticipated
with adequate preparation, becomes a frightening, painful, unwelcome
intrusion.
The great Italian
Renaissance painter and intellectual genius, Leonardo da Vinci, was precise and accurate on the subject of life
and death when he observed that: “While I
thought that I was learning how to live, I have been learning how to die.” This statement, though initially appearing to be
paradoxical, in fact contains a fundamental truth which we should not hesitate
to unconditionally accept. For if we believe there is a divine plan that begins
with birth, it would be impossible to deny that there will also not be a designated
end. Contrary to the general belief, this view is not limited to the Western
cultures but is held by a whole range of completely different and unrelated
Eastern and African cultures. Buddha, for
example, many centuries ago in his teachings, offered a similarly profound
advice that remains as relevant today as ever before, when he observed:
“We begin to die from
the moment we are born and from that moment we should be preparing for the
final event.”
Despite this, a variety of confusing and conflicting
concepts of death have continued to actively engage the attention of mankind
throughout the full spectrum of survival on earth and to produce a wide assortment
of interpretations ranging from nothingness to personal or spiritual reincarnation.
On the one hand, the Nihilists are
convinced that death is absolute with nothing to follow, while the Buddhists view death simply as a change
of life to replace the one that has been used up, ultimately leading to a
transition into another life, where they can continue to work on dissolving
their karma. The Christian, Jewish and Moslem traditions however view death as
merely a portal to earn entry to eternal life in heaven. But whatever the
reasoning offered, there can be no denial that death as an integral part of
life, has a purpose beyond being the end of current living. The great 19th century English scholar and
author Professor J.R.R.Tolkien, a prolific visionary in the classic field of high
fantasy, very wisely expressed his views on this subject in the following observation:
“The journey does not end here. Death is
just another path, one that we all must take.”
And Sri Chinmoy Kumar Ghose, the late great Indian spiritual teacher and
philosopher, whose prolific writings and teachings were recognized
internationally, exquisitely described a similar concept on the continuity of the
journey of life and death when he observed that:
"Death is not the
end. Death can never be the end.
Death is the road. Life
is the traveler. The Soul is the Guide."
My
own view is not very different but more definitive, as I have stated repeatedly:
“I believe life is a precious expression
of a greater plan in which our time spent on earth is but a short segment of a
journey which began in eternity and will continue to eternity.” Because of
this, I see the process of dying, not as the end of the journey, but merely a
stage along the path of the journey, and as such I view my role as a physician
and a person, to do my best to facilitate this passage for all concerned. Far too often we arrive at
this stage so overwhelmed with feelings of anger, pettiness, rivalry, suspicion
or revenge clouding our thinking and preventing us from sharing and expressing
our true feelings at this important time. This obviously is an unfortunate state
for any one of us to be in at this time. For by doing this we cheat ourselves
and others who care about us, of those last precious and vital moments, and set
in motion negative feelings which stay with us long after death has occurred.
This situation is always an undesirable and
regrettable one, for it invariably leaves everybody with unresolved feelings of
loss that will affect subsequent relationships for a long time after. Instead, we
should be striving to correct these feelings, remove these obstacles, and make
every effort to come to terms with our differences, so that when this journey
ends, so too will our anger and bitterness. In truth, if we really believe in
the existence of a God and the continuity of life, we should willingly and
confidently be able to share the words of the great Irish poet and author, Arthur Joyce Cary when he proclaimed:
“Look at life as a
gift from God. Now he wants it back, I have no right to complain.”
For instead of having to suffer from the
fear and anguish that invariably accompanies the person who is ill-prepared, it
would be so much better to take the time to enlighten and to educate ourselves well
before this time arrives.
Unfortunately very few of
today’s ‘advanced’ societies allow for this truth, but instead, they tend to
encourage the very opposite. We give lip
service to the inevitability of death, but try to live our lives believing that
it should be lived as if it has no end. It is no surprise then, that when the time
comes, we are so deeply consumed with fears and regrets for having to lose it,
that we have great difficulty to accept the moment of truth when it arrives. Adding
to this is the fact that, too
often those of us who are in a position to help the individual and others
around, during this period to adjust and understand, are inclined to hold back
from providing the appropriate information and guidance. We choose instead, to
follow the prevailing attitude and treat it as a ‘medically inconvenient truth’, for fear of upsetting the patient or
the family. We prefer to choose the safer path of being non-committal and hope
that we can get by without having to be unduly challenged. But by doing this we
end up contributing to further the unnecessary suffering and pain which will linger
on long after the loved one has passed on.
Society, as a whole, prefers to shy away from this onerous
responsibility and takes no steps to correct any false ideas or to introduce
positive ones. Yet in fact, correcting attitudes is not an impossible task to
initiate, if there is a will to do so. It requires a concerted effort on all
parts to be truthful, open and sincere in order to
blunt the fear and confusion that exists. For the undeniable truth is
that in the end we must all anticipate the inevitability of death as an
integral part of living and as such we must, as we have done in every other
aspect of our living to ensure success, make preparations for its arrival.
Instead of this, the great majority of us choose to remain with our heads
buried in sands of ambiguity and uncertainty, preferring to admit lack of
knowledge and not willing to accept the truth. This to me is probably the most poignant
reason that so many of us reach this final stage of our life so ill-prepared,
hesitant and so frightened about the thought of crossing over. Had we accepted
the opportunity to learn how to do so, there will surely have been far less
fear and trepidation. The most powerful reminder of this fact is contained in a
simple statement in the Holy Gospel,
in The Book of Ecclesiastes, Chapter 3, Verse 1:
"For everything
there is a season, and
a time for every matter under heaven:
a time to be born, and
a time to die.”
But irrespective of one’s belief
system, there is one fact in life that is constant, unyielding and predictable,
and that is, as my good friend is fond of reminding me, in his very
unscientific yet highly effective way that:
“Sooner or later we will all be
entering the departure lounge, and waiting for our names to be called.”
-This indeed, is the unequivocal
message of life. The journey of life itself can never be completed without
first dying. So death, rather than letting it to be a source of anxiety and
consternation, must be understood and anticipated in order to replace the
cowering in fear and trepidation, with informed preparation for whatever comes
after.
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