GIVING THANKS

 “Gratitude is not only the greatest of virtues, but the mother of all the others.”

        

These words were recorded by one of the Ancient Roman Empire’s greatest orators, philosophers and political leaders, Marcus Tullius Cicero, who lived in the 1^st century BC. They speak eloquently to the true value of Giving Thanks to others and yourself, and to its immeasurable importance in maintaining good human behavior.

True gratitude, the genuine expression of appreciation and thanks, can mean many things to many people. It is much more than just saying “thank you” to someone for something or some act done for you. It is rather, a deep-seated manifestation of a person’s innermost expression, and constitutes the very foundation of his personality and his life. With true gratitude deeply embedded within his psyche, a person has no difficulty in seeing life from a positive field of vision and to savor all its goodness without any preconceived expectation. It assumes the individual will never take things or people for granted, and always accept himself and his capabilities as they are, while equally respecting those of other people for what they are. It means living a life that is present-oriented, free from the shackles of the past, and the anxieties of the future. It means recognizing the goodness of others and the help they give without the expectation of anything in return. Above all, it demands that the individual makes every effort to recognize and express acknowledgement and show   appreciation for any help provided.

The scientific expression of gratitude has been a subject of interest for as long as man has been on earth. Over the centuries of recorded civilization, ancient, medieval and modern philosophers, psychologists, and behavior biologists have expended countless hours in the study of gratitude as it affects human behavior. It appears that gratitude is often a reliable index of degree of a person’s maturity and the extent of its manifestation is often a good indication of underlying personality. Further, those people who regularly practice gratitude, by taking the time to acknowledge and appreciate the actions of others and to reflect on why they should be thankful, experience more positive emotions, better feelings of well-being, better sleep patterns, improved immune systems and an overall ability to show more compassion and understanding to others. All the evidence confirms that a person who is committed to recognizing and expressing gratitude in everything, is less likely to be depressed, anxious, lonely, suspicious or afraid of others and much more likely to make and keep lasting friendships.

 But in today’s setting, the act of giving thanks is not something that comes easily to many of us. Although everyone, without exception, will have countless reasons for expressing gratitude on a daily basis, many are unable or unwilling to do so, as often as they should do it. They are usually so consumed by the underlying fear that expressing their emotions will somehow be interpreted negatively, they are reluctant to do anything. Their minds, mainly as a result of their past experiences, have become so sensitized to the fear of failure, regrets and disappointments that they are overwhelmed by negatives, suspicions and reluctance to express their feelings. They feel that expressing gratitude may be interpreted as an admission of weakness and inability to complete the task without help. They are so conditioned to trying to avoid anything that appears negative, that they spend their time worrying about the many things that may go wrong rather than appreciating those good things that have taken place. In many ways, they are afraid of having to admit their appreciation to others because by doing so, their actions may be interpreted as an admission of their weakness or dependence on them.

Every person possesses a multitude of assets in them which they often do not give even the most fleeting acknowledgment. They are content, instead, to allow them to stay buried under useless layers made up of ignorance, fears and insecurities they had acquired from past experiences. Although they have no difficulty in identifying the many reasons for being grateful for the involvement or contribution of others, yet because of the feelings of negativity and perceived flaws in them, they end up feeling that life has little to offer and they can never be fully satisfied. This leads inevitably, to unresolved feelings of unhappiness and resentment and forces them to keep searching for more, while appreciating less. In the process, they wind up neglecting the good things they have already acquired; taking everything for granted and losing the sense of appreciation that makes life truly enjoyable. Professor Alfred North Whitehead, the outstanding English mathematician and philosopher, recognized for his work on the logic and process psychology of science, placed this in the right perspective when he observed:

“No one who achieves success does so without having to acknowledge the help of others. The wise and confident acknowledge this help with gratitude.”

In the Judeo-Christian culture, special times are set aside during the year when we come together to express our gratitude for all the good things that we have experienced. We set aside special days such as Thanksgiving and Christmas for that purpose but then when that is over, we go back to our former lives and seem to ignore every one of the promises as we get on with our daily living. But expressing gratitude should never be limited to these special occasions but must be a life-long exercise to be successful, and provide the rewards desired. This is in fact a very satisfying dividend that we receive when we forego the false images dictated by our fears and inadequacies and assess our life against a background genuine appreciation. It is only after we try to show our gratitude and true appreciation in every instant can we begin to appreciate the successes in our own lives and the good things we have.

But unfortunately we have a tendency only to give lip service to expressing appreciation, while we spend our time in active competition with intent on succeeding at any cost, and without any consideration to the overall effect of our actions. We willingly ignore the wonderful and relevant advice from such authorities like Ralph Waldo Emerson   one of America’s greatest essayists, authors and poets, when he drew attention to the need for continually expressing gratitude for every good thing in our life:

“Cultivate the habit of being grateful for every good thing that comes to you and of giving thanks continuously. And because gall things have contributed to your advancement, you should include all things in your gratitude.”

For my own self, I have found from hard experience that nothing is as important in my life as the expression of gratitude for the endless array of good things that have come my way over the years. So much has occurred in my life, any one of which, but for the help of others, could have easily gone wrong, that I can never ever fully express my gratitude to others. Not only do I willingly express my gratitude as often as the opportunity presents itself but I also try, whenever possible, to pass these sentiments on to my children and to anyone who listens. In this, I am guided by the sacred words contained in the   Holy Bible, in the Letter of St. Paul to the Ephesians, chapter 5, verses 19-20:

“Speaking to one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing and making melody in your heart to the Lord, giving thanks always for all things to God the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ.”

-This after all is the only right and expected behavior for all of us to do!

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