“When you
arise in the morning, think of what a precious privilege it is to be alive, to
breathe, to think, to enjoy, and to love.”
These beautiful words of advice were first voiced almost
2000 years ago by one of ancient Rome’s greatest Emperors and leading Stoic philosopher, Marcus Antoninus Aurelius. They still
are, and have uninterruptedly remained as relevant and as appropriate today as
they have been throughout man’s existence on earth. Even more relevant and
equally appropriate are the quite similar sentiments originally echoed several
years earlier by another great Roman Stoic philosopher Seneca who strongly advised:
“Begin at
once to live, and count each new day as a separate life.”
We all have heard, and have ourselves
often repeated the popular cliché “Live
each day to the fullest,” but very few of us have given much more than
passing notice to it. In fact, only few of us ever take the time to thank God
each morning for the gift of a new day, and even less, ever think of deliberately
trying to make the best of all the opportunities available to us throughout the
day. As the quotation quite rightly inferred, waking up each morning is indeed
a privilege that is given to each person for an indeterminate time, but it is one
which will certainly end one of these days! Few, if any of us ever give more
than lip service to this fact, and instead, we prefer to live our lives
oblivious of this reality. To my knowledge, no one has ever received a definitive
guarantee on the quality or quantity of the life he will have, and however one
tries, none of the essential components of life can either be bought or sold by
anyone or for any price.
Each day is a gift given to us without
any strings attached, for us to make use as we see fit. And each morning as we
awake to a new day, we can choose to set aside the pain and worry of yesterday
and focus on the bright sunshine overflowing with new ideas available to us to
choose, and the brisk morning air loaded with good memories of our past days. Each
morning we have the opportunity to continue to choose a life of happiness for
ourselves, of caring for those in need, and of sharing our blessings with the
others. And on each of these mornings we are required to make a choice to
either to reject the offer and replace it with our own, or to accept it and
work with it, or to just ignore it and do nothing. There are always
consequences attached for each choice, but when we do accept the right one, we
not only please our ego but also the Almighty, and we grow in stature and
confidence, and in respect from others. And even more, we are also afforded the
opportunity to deposit some of this earned happiness in our bank account of
good deeds, available to us to recall in the bad times. This indeed, is the true meaning of living fully!
In much the same way, life itself is the gift
granted to each one of us freely and without any reservation to conduct as we
choose. But what we do, and how we make use of this opportunity will determine
how we will live out our life to the end. Every single day we are offered a new
opportunity to live the life we want for ourselves, but unfortunately for most
people, this offer is wasted; most of the time being sacrificed on the altar of
convenience or compromise. Because of prevailing circumstances, many of which
outside of our control, we are weighed down by the heavy burdens of bad
experiences and held back by shackles of fear and insecurity so that each day
begins as the other closed, with dark clouds of concern blocking the sunshine
of life. We end up dreading these new mornings
because they will only bring more of the same; many hours of endless unrewarding
routines, of just doing things to fill the hours, rather than those things that
fulfill our hopes and desires. This is
the price that we all pay when we live our life pleasing others rather than
ourselves.
This is certainly not how we were meant to
spend this gift of our life; in endless competition, trying to secure as much
as we can and still look for more, trusting no one and suspicious of all,
keeping everything and sharing little, and cautious of others while loving no
one; not even our self. Instead, we must begin to look at life as something
that should afford us the joy and satisfaction of living, provide hope and honest
fulfillment for achieving, and give us the opportunity to share and to love our
brothers and neighbors. This, to me, is how life is meant to be lived to the
fullest: to be enjoyed, in good health,
with happiness and fulfillment and above all, sharing and caring for all.
This is also what I have no doubt Martin
Zakour, my Godson and a young man for whom I hold the highest regard, was
alluding to, when he described the life of a recently deceased friend who had indeed
lived life to the very fullest:
“He taught us to love every day as if
it were the best day, and filled the world with a beautiful smile and a sweet
spirit.”
But achieving this noble and worthy
level of human behavior is neither inherited, nor is it automatic. It is just
not possible for any one to award oneself with a full and rewarding life that
provides the joy and satisfaction that everyone yearns for, by wishing or asking
for it. It does demand however, that he must begin by looking at the prison that
is created in his own mind from all the bad experiences, failures, insecurities
and fears that have accumulated over the prior years of his existence. It means
also, that he must begin to search for, and free his heart of the fears,
uncertainties and insecurities that undermine his confidence, and the
suspicions, rejections and hatred that blacken his perspectives. He must become
intimately aware of the many problems and feelings that are crowding his mind
without any resolution, and then diligently attempt to resolve them either by
changing those he can change, or accepting those he must accept, and ignoring
all the others. These self-imposed shackles which effectively render him a prisoner
of his own circumstances and incapable of living better, will only grow in
intensity and complexity if allowed to do so.
But on the other hand, living life to
the fullest, does not ever mean, as so many people try to suggest, making full
use of every opportunity to benefit from life without regard to others. And
equally, it does not include the large proportions of people who are quite content
to aimlessly wander through life with no purpose or intention, and with no idea
or clarity of life or needs. In both these cases, life loses its true meaning,
and is replaced by a multitude of excuses designed to justify the behavior and suppress
the feelings of accompanying guilt and inadequacy. Some of the greatest regrets
that have been expressed by people who felt cheated of a full life is that they
allowed other people to dictate how they lived, rather than find their own way.
No one will ever succeed by doing so and no one has ever done so. Bonnie
Ware, the Australian end-of-life nurse whose ground breaking work on the
regrets of dying people is internationally recognized, stated:
“One of the greatest regrets of the
dying is that they allowed old
friendships to fizzle out and die. If you want to know how to live your best life, the answer is to live your life to the fullest with other people living life to the fullest.”
Choosing to live each day fully
requires a determined, conscious effort by the individual to do what is right
and equally, to resist any temptation to do wrong. It means knowing who you really
are, and what your needs are. It involves full knowledge of your values, your strengths
and your desires and equally, your weaknesses and your fears as well as a true
willingness to admit to them. But above all, life cannot be lived in a vacuum,
but will only flourish when there is direction and purpose. For it is when this
is not present, we are more liable to fall victim to the influence of others,
stumbling through life and cheated of its joys, and with our dreams being
robbed of their fulfillment. The true answer will never be found by searching the
lives of others, but will always be found by looking within. All that it needs
is the insight to understand and the courage to take action. This I believe is
what Maya Angelou, the highly regarded, African-American poet and author
was clearly alluding to, when she advised
"My mission in life is not merely to survive, but to thrive; and to do so with some passion, some compassion, some humor and some style."
-Indeed,
life can only be fully lived in the way it is meant to be lived, honestly,
satisfying, uninhibited and blessed, when we do so in a spirit of understanding
our needs, respecting those of others, and caring and sharing with all.
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